I wish I could say I'm being watched "as a flower about to bloom" yet I find it more to be "as a bomb about to explode." It feels as though what I wished to be a peaceful or inspiring process is intense and sensitive instead. I'm on the 39th week and finding that even when I think I am somewhat able to keep a quiet and pleasant attitude that seems to be the farthest thing from reality. I come across as short tempered, and snappy regardless of what I consider my greatest efforts. Just another reminder of how I can't do life without Him.
Circumstances aren't really what we were hoping or even expecting for this season and I have found myself complaining more than I'd like to be. In the middle of this most joyous time of life temptation to focus on everything else but the joy is so great I need to constantly remind myself where my source is and where my confidence should be.
At the same time I find that as much as I anticipate meeting this new little person, holding them in my arms and revel in the newness of life I also want to enjoy this waiting season because time goes so fast, children grow too quickly and these seasons are over far too soon to my liking. So here I am, trying to sort through emotions, situations and circumstances to find my portion, my peace and my joy... it is being definitely more challenging than I wanted or expected!
Circumstances aren't really what we were hoping or even expecting for this season and I have found myself complaining more than I'd like to be. In the middle of this most joyous time of life temptation to focus on everything else but the joy is so great I need to constantly remind myself where my source is and where my confidence should be.
At the same time I find that as much as I anticipate meeting this new little person, holding them in my arms and revel in the newness of life I also want to enjoy this waiting season because time goes so fast, children grow too quickly and these seasons are over far too soon to my liking. So here I am, trying to sort through emotions, situations and circumstances to find my portion, my peace and my joy... it is being definitely more challenging than I wanted or expected!
5 comments:
There's no denying this is a challenging season for you all...waiting...preparing...
houseguests...keeping you in prayer!~ much love
And just so you know, I have never heard you complain...not once...ever. For real!
i'm praying for you! i love you and i can't wait to hear the news!!
I'm praying for you.
Keila
I have never thought of you has ever being short, rude or anything like that...you have been kind to me! I am praying that you enter this new season with joy, energy and much blessing!!
love momL
Love you. You have chosen the good part: to see the joy of the present day, to make the most of it, to not waste it in longing for something different. God will help you, and this too shall pass. Soon, and then these days will be no more. So you're right, sit back and enjoy them with your little ones! I'm excited for you all!
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