Almost a month (Picture Overload)

It is almost a month since I last wrote, and it seems to happen that way so often.  Before I know it life happens and a whole month goes by.  This time, between sickness and computer failures, well... you know how it goes.  There are deep thoughts in my heart that I don´t even have the time to post here, but they are recorded in my journal, for sure.   Daddy is away and we´re sick.  As it goes when you´re alone, we have broken things, we haven´t slept well.  Tempers fly, repentance ensues, and forgiveness follows.

When the house is quiet and everyone is asleep I am even more aware of his absence.  Temptation creeps in to resent, to be mad, to be sorry for myself... he is there, where we were all supposed to have been!  It is so not fair!, but then I remember that this life, after all, is not about me.  It is ALL about HIM.  His kingdom, His work, His love, His life.  Ben is away but we are both doing kingdom work, we are both being loved in the same perfect way and we both have life abundant because of a day like yesterday and, better yet, because of a day like tomorrow.  Today we wait... we wait like they did.  Except a couple thousand years ago they may not have really known what they were waiting for.  WE DO!  And if in light of that I couldn´t possible sit and feel sorry for myself.  I won´t deny it has been hard.  It may not get easier tonight and the days following... or it may.  But I have so much more to be thankful for!

So this is what is going on with us:

This face continues to be the most adorable baby face around here!

My chunk of white meat and gummy smiles!   She loves to be entertained, and smiles at anyone that will talk to her.

 Laying down is not her favorite thing, and is fighting gravity and her own body to try and stay up.  It is the cutest thing!

Chubby hands that attach themselves these days to anything that comes their way.  My favorite:  when she reaches for my face, or when those little fingers purposely curl around mine!

 Needless to say how much she is loved around here.

Our four year old has proudly (and finally) been willing to learned how to make her bed!

 And her brother thinks posing with your bed is the thing to do!

We find ways to be distracted... let me present to you "our swing"

 wind could not deter the adventurous spirit!

 I just love their going ons!

 We color on boxes...

 and we watch for Spring

and while we´re sick and daddy is away:

We play with our dinner:

 We make corporate efforts to make comforting foods, one mixes the dry stuff

 another mixes the topping

 and some of us are just plain cute

 Dinner art

 Comfort foods:  Gooey Chocolate Pudding Cake!

This is long, this is very long.

There are days in motherhood, like today, when I really feel like throwing in the towel.  Don't worry, I won't (at least not yet).  But seriously, I'll give you a glimpse:  I wasn't feeling too well to begin with when I woke up,

::  at 11:30 a.m. and after about three meltdowns in the previous 15 minutes, I decide Benny should really go for a nap.  I wish I could just lay next to him...

::  Adriana needs juice, her cup drips, she cries.  I wipe the sippy cup, give it back.  It drips again, she cries again, I take it again, open it, wipe the rim, give it back.  It drips again, she is in full meltdown, her cup always drips, I take it again... but "what if it drips again!"  She cries more, I wrap a washcloth around it and give it back.  But, "What if it never stops dripping?"  I am terribly tempted to answer back with the same drama, but restrain.  Did I mention I wasn't feeling well?

::  Then we ate lunch, took a trip to the store, and on the way home decided to do cereal for dinner.  The baby cries, I take her to the bed and nurse her, she doesn't fall asleep so I go back down for my dinner, left over black bean soup.  Still not feeling better. 

::  Adriana spills her bowl of cereal, her new flip flops are now sticky... another melt down.  I wash them in the sink, show her.  But, "Now they're wet!"  I dry them thoroughly with a towel, give them back, refill the bowl.

::  Elena teases Adriana about taking one of her Cocoa Puffs.  Adriana moves her bowl out of Elena's reach.  Second bowl of cereal on the floor.  Quick!  Save the flip flops!  We clean, make corresponding apologies.  Everybody is happy.

::  Benny DUMPS his bowl of cereal... he just wanted to clean like Adriana did with Mama.  I should have just cooked dinner!  This drama is more exhausting than cooking dinner!  We clean and, oh relief, it will be bedtime soon.  I am not feeling well, remember?

::  Big kids are in bed, Giselle starts crying.  She doesn't want to nurse, she doesn't want anything.  I walk.  I rock.  She cries.  Benny calls, girls are playing, I settle them, Giselle screams.  Girls get up, I go in to settle them, Giselle screams, Benny is awake.  Benny is sleeping, Giselle is screaming, Adriana needs to use the bathroom.

::  Three hours later, I sit here.  There is a deafening silence and peaceful slumber has overtaken my rambunctious bunch.  I feel numb.  My nose is stuffy, I didn't want to get sick again.  I never did finish doing the laundry.  But...  but when I am getting ready for the pity party I remember all that I have been learning about Gratitude.  Rewind a few hours, and there, intertwined with the messy, the tiring, and the ugly, was beauty.  And if I dwell too much in how difficult it was, I'll miss it.  I will miss the fullness of life:
::  Benny asked me to "seep" with him during nap and wrapped his little arms around my neck.
::  Elena and Adriana were thrilled to find a sink their size in the store's bathroom and they looked so precious washing and drying their hands proudly without needing my help.

::  Benny jumped on every puddle from the store to the car, and as I saw the joy in his little face I made sure he didn't miss any!

::  Elena very maturely recognized the mistakes she made today and confessed them before we had any chance to approach her about them.

::  Ben recorded some of their games by letting them tell their own story and made them a movie.

::  They were so thrilled to see and wear their flip flops today, they made us wear ours, "It will be fun Mom/Dad!  Like a flip flop family!"

::  Adriana made herself be brave enough to wear her flip flops again after the sticky incident (she REALLY doesn't like sticky!).

::  Giselle shows her excitement with her whole body!  Her arms flail in excitement and she looks almost spastic with joy the minute any of us talks to her and shows her toys.

::  Ben helped the children pick up their bedroom before going to bed (and what a beautiful job they did!), and put them all to bed before leaving for his basketball game.

This day was full of hard, not-fun-at-all moments, but there was so much more to it, so much to grow, so much to learn.  So no, I am not going to throw in the towel!  I am going to revel in the fullness and the beauty of today, and trust me, I am not trying to convince myself here.  Truly, my heart is glad for this day.  Besides, I don't think I could find the towel anyway (unfinished laundry, remember?).

Not Forgotten

This little cyber world of mine has not been forgotten... just a little delayed.  So much in the mind, so much to do and fulfill has left me with no time to pour out thoughts here.  When I'm done wiping runny noses I hope to be back with some fresh inspiration and stories to tell.  In the meantime, I leave you with what I'm thinking about these days: 

I am thinking of Him.  The One that came like a lamb to rescue me...