Sunday, September 27, 2009

A change of seasons

A look out the window showcased an amazingly beautiful day.  The brightest sun shinning through a stark and gray sky, like my melancholic heart in the light of life.  Colorful leaves on the wet ground like a carpet cushioning every step, devoid of life but bright. 


Leaves  randomly blown away by a whimsical wind, like some of the dreams and hopes I had for this year.  Some seem to twirl around lazily, careless of where they'll fall. 


Others are still hanging, if only by a tiny  but strong speck, to the branch that held their life. 

And so a season ended, and so another one began to transition into yet another one.    Soon,  before we know it, winter will be here.  The season of death, the season of laying down.  It feels sad...

...except, there is beauty in the laying down.  Because like my dreams, the leaves ominously announcing the cold and lonely winter are making beauty.  They make beauty as they journey the crisp autumn wind unto a premature demise...



...there is life in the dying.  Because like my hopes, the loss of the leaves that exposes a bare, beautiful trunk does not bring with it the loss of life.  Life is rooted deep within, grounded strong even when the cold must be faced nakedly.

...there is promise in the flying away.  Because like my wishes, the leaves that fly away from their life are only making room from new ones to grow.  Only when we surrender do we receive, not our wishes but those richer and better than our own.  Desires yet to be discovered as they are brought without from the life within.

A change of seasons for sure...


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A catch all for misplaced things

I rest on my bed curled up on my side next to the chunky body of a nursing babe.  My eyes wander around this bedroom.  A sanctuary of sorts.  Messier than I'd like it to be .  Reflective, perhaps, of its inhabitants?  I have tried to live by the policy of making surfaces pretty to avoid clutter but somehow, as I look around this most important room, someone didn't get the memo.

Atop our dressers piles of clutter gather dust as life goes by and days settle on them.  Our dressers, all three of them are the catch all for things random and misplaced; neglected and forgotten.  They are filled with odds and ends that somehow I can't seem to be able to rid off.  "I should de-clutter it" I think to myself while caressing sandy blond hair.  "Someone once told me that our living spaces are a mirror to our souls," I think.  And my mind quickly shifts from the natural to the spiritual:  "Do I have a shelf of clutter in my soul?  Is there a space of my heart that I have devoted to the collection of unnecessary garbage that I have neglected in the hands of time and disrepair?"

I don't think I need to answer this... scary!  I just pray I am diligent enough to get rid of my clutter.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The day they got carried away


My girls helped me "peel" the carrots for dinner one night...




This was the end result...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

In a perfect world

In a perfect world my house would run like clockwork:

*I would wake up before the little ones (to a clean kitchen and dining room),
*have some quiet time to myself,
*start the world for them and then receive them with a peaceful attitude and a smile
*do I need to go on... you pretty much get the picture

I don't live in a perfect world, so more often than not I am already catching up the minute I open my eyes. Not too pretty to describe in detail, so I wont.

Nine months after the birth of my baby I am finally feeling like I am about to begin some sense of normalcy. A good problem I have encountered is that after two weeks of diligently washing, drying, folding AND putting away the laundry I am actually having a hard time making it fit in our dressers! Organizing our lives and the home feels and looks like a daunting challenge: when do I clean if I start teaching the girls? Morning or afternoon? How many times a week? What about the extra activities that come knocking at our door? Where do I fit in the cooking if I clean after naps? How much longer will I need to rest during the day? But I know that I can only accomplish so much at a time and that I need to be realistic. I have yet to determine my next goal but I am sure it will fall into place just like the laundry did and I'm only going to focus on doing the next thing!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Tidbits of thanks in showers of grace

Life has been anything but easy lately. I turn for support or even comfort and there is none to be found. But just when I am ready to loose hope, I remember... I am not meant to be comforted or supported by any but Him and Him alone. If I look anywhere else I will find disappointment in the same way that I am likely to disappoint anyone who looks to me (hopefully not, but still).

He alone is my source. He alone is my comfort. He alone is my support. Period.