Whatever works, right?

That´s what we´re doing these days...

A box picnic in the kitchen.

and naps... well

Naps wherever they happen... this one lasted about 20 mins!

In the midst of a storm

The house is quiet, everyone is wrapped in peaceful slumber.  Outside a storm rages.  The  wind bangs on the attic door, demanding to be let in.  I don't think I've ever heard it this strong.  It almost feels as though the house is shaking, but I know it's not.  It feels so eerie, so scary.  I snuggle deeper within the blankets, look for the warmth of the bodies next to mine; one, to make her feel safe, the other to help me feel safe.  I can't sleep.  This feeling of being under water and the pressure headache from infected? congested? sinuses is not giving me a break so my mind rambles...   And as I feel the warmth and quietness that surrounds me in spite of the threatening outside, it hits me.

I've known it all along.  There is an enemy raging out there, banging on the door of my heart and demanding to be let in my life.  Someone out there wants to trap my family in the winds of stress, in the storms of life.  And we are going through some weather around here... adjusting to a new baby, packing up our life, finishing a chapter to begin a new one, all of it exciting!  But I have come to realize that with the excitement we can sometimes become blind to the traps out there.  The reality is that when I retreat to the quiet intimacy of the voice of God, I can hear it... I can hear the enemy raging and looking for a small crack to allow his devastating energy in.  So I will snuggle deeper into the blanket of His love, into the warmth of His hand, to help me stay safe.

Progress

In two days we´ve gone from this:

 to this:

 with some of this in between:

Snuggles in Grandma´s chair

"Packing central"

 So I will see you soon, I need to go keep up the packing of our story in this little place...

Another Birthday Post

 This one too, is late.  But it is never too late to celebrate the life of your loved ones.  My Elena turned 6 this year.  SIX!!  Unbelievable! Time has flown and given me a little girl instead of the sweet little baby that made me a mom.

My Elena continues to be a Daddy's girl.  She adores her Daddy and loves to spend time with him, no matter what he's doing.

  She asks to hold her baby sister all the time, has requested to be taught how to change diapers and can do a decent job washing dishes.  She is growing into quite the little helper!

 She is also becoming more aware of her likes and dislikes and requests her hair to be done in a certain way.  She chooses what she wants to wear and LOVES to wear dresses and skirts.

 Our "Lai-lai" has an all girly heart that longs for fantasy, surprises, princes and princesses, and loves to play dress up.

 My sweet little dreamer's bosom friend is cousin Abby, whom she adores and thinks the world of her.  They are exactly one month apart in age, but Elena talks all the time about how the will be grown ups together, and how they will still be friends even when they are mommies themselves.

The moments that her little life wanders into the reality of this world of ours, she strives to learn how to read and practice how to be a Mommy.  My dearest Elena, it is such a joy to see you grow and enjoy the world every day, and it is my prayer that we do a good job leading you into your destiny!  We love being your parents!

My Boy

This comes way late, but I wasn´t blogging when my sweet little man turned two.  I can´t move one without dedicating him his little birthday post.

He is the sweetest, loving, most fun little boy I know.  He loves to play with his sisters and is the gentlest with the youngest.  He treats her with all the tenderness a 2 year-old-boy can muster.

He´s a hugger, and a kisser, and a snuggler.  He still asks to be held and he still needs a warm body to push against when sleeping.  You could be sharing a king bed with him and he´d still inch his way right next to you, half under-half on top of you.

 He really loves music.  Whenever he hears music he´ll dance and try to make anyone around him dance as well.  He sings all the introduction songs to any show he may be watching if he has heard it once before.

 He is as rambunctious as any little boy his age and knows very well how to push his sisters´ buttons, especially Adriana´s!  And he loves it!  He loves to "hold" and cuddle his baby sister and informs me quite adamantly when she is crying and I need to take care of her.

He buckles everything he finds unbuckled all.the.time.  He loves to scribble and "color" people, as he calls it.  He is adorable in everything he says and does.  We are so thankful for our little man, these past two years of seeing him grow have been so much fun and we look forward each day to his newest discoveries.

Happy belated birthday my son!

Habits and Routines

It wasn´t until our two recent trips, one to my BIL´s and the other to my "other home" in Madrid, NY that I realized how out of sorts we really are when it comes to habits and routines.  As the end of my pregnancy for Giselle neared, I began to let go of a little thing here and a little thing there in an attempt to survive the season.  It´s funny how in the same way you do things often enough they become habits, when you stop doing things often enough that becomes a habit as well.

Take chores, for example.  If you ask my children what their "Morning Fives" are, they would probably have absolutely no idea.  More often than not, lately I have to send children back upstairs to brush their teeth long after they´ve settled into watching "some" TV in the living room.  It is miraculous when we manage to put them to bed at night after a successful picking up of the living room.  Their bedroom... well, with mattresses that hosted my parents on the floor and an excess of suitcases, blankets, toys and clothes trying to find their space around their bedroom, it is pretty fair to say we have stopped picking it up altogether!  There are piles of stuff just about everywhere, but I came to a point where I had to chose whether to achieve an impeccable house after yelling at everyone to direct them to have stuff done, or just "be"... Snuggles rated higher on my list than cleaning drills.

Our slacking has met us everywhere... the dinner table, where we became eager to dismiss them to play or watch something just so that we could connect for a few minutes after I had spent the afternoon away and he had to get ready to leave for work.   Then the struggles to make them eat everything on their place have also slipped through the cracks as we just wanted to have a meal without having to argue, discipline, correct and have crying fits repeating the dislike for a certain food.  It reached the school routine that never really happened full blown. Somehow to an overly emotional 9 month pregnant woman keeping up with these things seemed unfathomable.  

Now we have to start from scratch, with a newborn and while we're still transitioning.  Now, I know that the homes we visited during these trips and that brought the awareness of our slacking to my attention afresh, are full of nothing but love and grace for us.  Never did we feel judged or pressured by them, I want to make that very clear.  Their orderly life just made my messy one stand out to me if to no one else.  And I have to balance the need and awareness with the grace for the season.  After all, we are still transitioning, and we will still be until we find a place we can make our home and unpack there the life we're packing up here.  That could take four? five weeks? more?  So, one day at a time!

For many days...

I have wanted to sit down and write to you.  There is so much in my mind, so much in my heart and so much in my plate that it is hard to find the clarity and the time to write.  It probably won´t be as poetic and eloquent as I wished it would be, but this is it.  I am going to let the world around me unravel and try to collect my thoughts in a logical manner.   I will attempt to convey them in a sensible way in the midst of tying up balloons for three little people and settling the fights ensuing among them.  Bear with me.

At some point in my life I came to a fork on my proverbial road.  I had to choose.  My choice was whether to leave or to stay.  An adventure was before me that promised to change my life forever, with new places, new people, new life.  The only problem was that it promised to change my life forever.  However, I needed a change.  I didn´t need a change of all that I loved, mind you, it was a change of "circumstances".  I could change my "circumstance"of being single to that of being married.  

I don´t need to tell you what I chose, as it is obvious, the point that I want to share is how making that choice brought a load of mixed emotions.  Mine is the only wedding where I have seen people cry as though they were in a funeral!  See, I had weighed the cost of my decision and I was soberly walking it out.  I would grieve my loss in the midst of celebrating my marriage.  What I was realizing was the price that I was asking everyone else to pay for my decision.  So many of my loved ones did not ask to give me up, yet here they were being forced to do it.  My husband felt horrible.  Those I left behind were left to mourn their loss, while I mourned mine without making my husband think that I was/had changed my mind in the process.  Do you know how hard it is to take your new husband´s hand, and walk into your new destiny looking into his adoring eyes all full of love, promise and excitement while yours are all swollen  and tear shut?  The poor guy!  While on the one hand all my dreams were becoming a reality, on the other hand I was mourning.  And I could never underestimate the pain I was causing with my leaving.  It is a decision that I would make the same way a thousand times, but I must say that it still hurts today.

Once again I´m brought to a similar place, this time it is a family affair.  Simply put, a change of circumstances is required of us in obedience to a call:  The Call, His Call.  We are moving.  I know many of you know it already as we have been talking about the possibilities for several months.  For those of you who didn´t know, this has been a process.  We have learned so much through this season and I will continue to share more details as we walk things through.   On March 1st we´re supposed to call another town home.

We have weighed the cost of this move for us, we are soberly walking it through as we try to teach our children how to balance the emotions involved.  We embrace the excitement of what´s ahead of us, but we suffer the loss of those we leave behind.  How exactly does one do that?  How do you "go home" when going home means leaving home?  How many homes can a person have?  More importantly, how do we ask those we love to pay the price for something they didn´t ask?

So we pray for wisdom, as much relational as practical in this new transition of ours.  We want to honor all those we love both here and where we´re going and don´t exactly know how.  We don´t take lightly the sadness we´re causing, and we wouldn´t do it deliberately were God´s leading not as clearly involved as it has been.  He alone can make these things happen and He alone can bring the perfect peace and joy that can balance the emotional world.  

Stay tuned for updates... I´ll try to keep them coming often!