It has been a bit over three weeks since we got home. Some days I feel full of energy and projects and ready to take on this place and finally make it "home", some other days I would be the happiest just sleeping! I don't think I'm loosing more sleep than I lost with Elena, the big difference is that I can't bring myself to "sleep when my baby sleeps" as I did the first time around because I have a darling little girl who needs me too and I rather be awake for her than missing out on her day because of catching some z's. So, here I am... trying to make the best of what I have before me, living one day at a time.
On my days of energy nothing seems to phase me, on my tired days anything and everything can. One of the things I find myself dealing with this time is the usual question posed, mostly by strangers: "Is she a good baby?" What is one supposed to answer? "oh, no... she's awful, she wakes me up when I'd like to sleep" Are you kidding me? A baby does what a baby is supposed to do... some sleep a little longer, some cry a little less but I do not think you can label them of "good" or "bad" because of that. Now, I know there is probably nothing ill meant by the question, but it really gets to me... some days more than others. At any rate, regardless how little sleep I may get, regardless how long my baby may cry and regardless how little my babies like slings, swings, carriers and any other contraption designed to hold them while mom does something else, I always think they are a wonderful, awesome blessing and I never grow tired of admiring and loving them... I think I'm biased!
2 comments:
I admire and love to see how much you ENJOY being a mother!...peace and joy to you.....
I totally understand the bristling you feel when that question is posed. I also understand that it is, as you said, unintentional in its negativity, but it is negative none the less. That always bothered me and I wanted to change that standard thoughtless inquiry made without thinking about what it implied. But it is a cultural thing, not readily changed. So I would just smile and say that of course she was a good baby -- she was the best ever -- no matter what kind of sleep I had that night or how much crying the evening hours had held. I refused to complain about my baby being a baby and doing baby things! As long as you don't go there you will not feel so much self-pity and frustration.
You are a great mom and I know that these years will hold great memories for you!
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