Yesterday, Ben and I were watching this show. I am always curious to see the stories behind families and pick up on some ideas for shopping, organizing, etc. I was amazed at how clean her house is and how organized her life seems while she has so many more little ones than I do. One thing led to the next and before you know it, my sweet man is holding my hand, trying to encourage me and stop my tears as I pour out my frustrations at being unable to keep up with the house lately.
If you have been to my house in the past couple months you know what I mean!
Probably one of the reasons why this woman's immaculate house brought me to the breaking down point is because I have been asking the Lord for supernatural strength, ability, ideas, or anything that will help me keep this house the way I envision it without lashing out at my husband and children when the chaos of everyday life simply cannot be contained. At least I can say for myself that I have been able to avoid the lashing out part.
My little mental notebook goes back to all the wise advice I've heard from amazing godly woman but nothing seemed to give me a satisfactory answer. If I am called to be a keeper of my home, doesn't that include making it a clean and orderly environment for my family? And while the answer to that question is a "yes", there is also the fact that the house in and of itself does not make the home. The house is a tool... a tool to keep my family happy, healthy and together.
I need to remember that the people in it are more important than the things in it. I am more responsible for the souls that it helps me nurture than anything else. And in the quiet place I hear a still voice that tells me that more than anything my home needs to be inviting. Inviting to the outsider who should feel welcome when they come in that door, but above all things, inviting to those entrusted to me. I am doing my job well if my husband and my children long for home, if I attach enough strings to their heart that home is a place they like to be at. And I look around and pray that I may not see a day when my children are desperate to leave my home...
If you have been to my house in the past couple months you know what I mean!
Probably one of the reasons why this woman's immaculate house brought me to the breaking down point is because I have been asking the Lord for supernatural strength, ability, ideas, or anything that will help me keep this house the way I envision it without lashing out at my husband and children when the chaos of everyday life simply cannot be contained. At least I can say for myself that I have been able to avoid the lashing out part.
My little mental notebook goes back to all the wise advice I've heard from amazing godly woman but nothing seemed to give me a satisfactory answer. If I am called to be a keeper of my home, doesn't that include making it a clean and orderly environment for my family? And while the answer to that question is a "yes", there is also the fact that the house in and of itself does not make the home. The house is a tool... a tool to keep my family happy, healthy and together.
I need to remember that the people in it are more important than the things in it. I am more responsible for the souls that it helps me nurture than anything else. And in the quiet place I hear a still voice that tells me that more than anything my home needs to be inviting. Inviting to the outsider who should feel welcome when they come in that door, but above all things, inviting to those entrusted to me. I am doing my job well if my husband and my children long for home, if I attach enough strings to their heart that home is a place they like to be at. And I look around and pray that I may not see a day when my children are desperate to leave my home...
4 comments:
Hi Keila. I love your thoughts on this. My Gram insists that the kiddos fingerprints in her apartment aren't to be washed away. They remind her of them. She lets them touch her things, she lets them gather snacks (after permission of course!), she tells me not to "holler" at them if they do something I find displeasing while there. She accepts them. They love going there. 2-13 years old. It's not the spoiling part. She sees them and their worth. She has told me Polish people don't call children "kids," they are "angels" (haha!:.). She operates from that paradigm though. I'm trying to grow in the comfort of what these lives bring. Chicken picture in my doorway, toothpaste cap not in place, toys in my backyard, bunkbed, and sticky doorknobs are not exactly photo worthy...except to my Gram :)! Love you. I'm sorry I giggled when I read your clear description of Ben holding your hand. Been there, done that.
Speaking of homekeeping and things to that nature, I'm not sure if you had received my e-mail or not, but if you did not I just wanted to let you know that we sold the house and my parents have to be out of the house by July 30th. Praise the Lord! :-) He is SO GOOD! My dad had his interview not too long ago with PNC Bank and we will find out if he gets the job or not by July 20th. If he gets the job we will stay here in Jersey, if not, we will have to move to Florida; but I have a feeling he's gonna get the job.... afterall, it's funny how the Lord has waited so long for our house to get sold and around the same time the last interview needed to determine if my dad gets the job was ALSO scheduled around this time! God has some obscure ways of knitting everything together.... speaking of THAT.... I read the majority of your husband's blogs: I was so amazed to read of how long of a journey it took for you to meet each other. There is absolutely no doubt about if the hand of God was in it all! :-) I was amazed to read the prophetic Word that was spoken upon him at a prayer meeting! Awesome, just AWESOME!
Keila...when I visit you, I never see that anything is out of place. All I see looking at me are the eyes of those I love.
In 20 years these years will hold great memories, and the moments of frustration will be just that- moments.
Often I think of how the Lord orchestrated the meeting of you and Ben... and I am so very thankful to Him for you. It is good for me to see the love you two have, and how it is expressed in you , and through you...
I remember the vision of the 'wedding' weeks before anything was ever expressed by Ben- the assurance that God was in this union- unique...and you spoke it so well...don't let the 'everyday stuff' take you away from that...you are doing a great job!!!,as mom and wife, and a woman who has wisdom for others. it is also good to know how good Ben is to you, how supportive - the man who I always thought he would be to his wife... I know you complete him
These are the trying times when God is sorting through motives and rearranging understanding. He will enlighten you as to His perfect will for you. Hang on to Him, keep loving His ways, and He will see you through, building you and building a testimony in you!
Balancing - living in this world and yet not being a part of it, focusing on things above and yet providing for a household in the here and now, loving hearth and home and all within and yet loving Him more. It's a tall order in so many ways, and still we know His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He will carry you.
Order comes and goes as households fluctuate with varying needs. Finding and maintaining order is always a battle because of changing dynamics within your home, so don't grasp for it or try to hold it once attained. Not that we don't aspire to order, but more that we need to be flexible in that aspiring, letting it go when necessary, knowing that there will be a time again when life will settle into a rhythm, probably just to slip away with some change that will come. In time a new pattern is established - one that will include a new little one, or a more independent child, or a change of direction for a husband, or an illness in the family. Life is constantly changing - in other words, perfect order that remains constant is elusive. Life is changing, children are growing, families alter, and with each season we get to learn flexibility, sort through priorities, and then we eventually discover how to find order in the midst of it all. Then that newfound routine or pattern may slip away with the next change. In time a new one will be formed, so don't lose heart.
Some seasons are greater challenges than others, but that's okay, too! He can provide grace for dirty piles of laundry, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner three nights in a row, and less than perfectly clean bedrooms. I know we want to get past those seasons and not take residence there, but sometimes we do need to pass through them. He will guide you through.
Most of all, be like Mary - sit at His feet, learn from Him, let His energy sustain you. He will show you how to do it His way for your home.
And just to let you know - I happen to think you are doing a wonderful job!
Post a Comment