Do I trust Him?

Once again, our church is sending out a team on a short missions trip to Mexico. Last time we couldn´t go because Adriana was due that same month. We stayed home, worked the home front while everyone else was gone and longed for the next opportunity where we could go out in the field. We knew the next trip would be for us! There wasn´t even a question of whether we´d go or not, it had been decided... until we found out the dates: November 01 - 10!!

What are the odds? Of course, this little one is due in November. My traveling is completely out of the question although I´m not due until the 22nd and my babies don´t like to be told when to come so they like to take their time. There is just no possible way and airline would let me board while 8 months pregnant for an international flight, of all things!

As the days have passed and preparations began Ben really felt he needed to at least consider going on this trip. He asked me to pray about it and we'd visit it again in a few days to see how we felt. Mind you, I did not want to pray about it because I knew it would be a challenge to my faith and I knew what my answer should be. The more I prayed the more I felt the Lord challenging me to release my husband and depend upon Him alone. He is not going to do anything that will harm me or my children and since He is the only one who really knows when this baby is coming, He'd be the best to trust. Now, who can argue with Him? Within a couple hours of praying (let alone days) I knew what my answer needed to be, I knew I had to release my husband.

I informed Ben about it right away and he still was gracious enough to take a few days before making a final decision. He does want my mom to be here when he leaves (no complains here!), so I'm not all by myself. I am a thinker so I have thought constantly about my decision and all its possible implications. What can I say, I am a thinker and a planner... so my mind has been racing with things like Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas shopping, Christmas cards, and there has been a train of thought somewhat like this going on in my mind:

"**It wouldn't hurt to have an emergency plan in place. Would it?

**I am trusting the Lord that He won't let Ben miss the birth of this baby but I am not God and I don't know if His plans are different than mine... would setting up an emergency plan be lack of faith? hmmm... let me think...

**I've rested assured by the fact that I now have Mom and Dad next door

**Dan and Maria are also upstairs...

**A couple of miles away I have Dee and another couple of miles in the opposite direction I have Maureen... yeah, I'll be ok... I could have Dan and Maria come watch the girls while Mom drives my mom and myself to the hospital... however...

**Mom and Dad will be in Texas for Andrea's baby's arrival... there's no knowing when they'll be back.

**Dan and Maria... will be in Mexico with the rest of the team.

**Okay, then... let's see... Maybe Dee and Maureen... one could drive and the other one could stay with the girls... hmm... Dee has a husband who works evenings so she can't just leave at the drop of a hat, come to think of it, Maureen may not be able to leave so easily either since both Dee's oldest children and Maureen's oldest son are planning on being a part of that missions team... they wouldn't necessarily be able to arrange care for their own children at a moment's notice!

**Okay, who else... Colleen! She is a bit further than anyone else, she could definitely come rescue us... wait a minute... isn't she also planning on going on this trip! hmm... I'm sure we'll be able to line someone up!"

Now, I actually find it quite humorous... it would be God and Him alone to know how to really make this decision be a challenge of faith for me! Every possible security I could give myself He is making sure is not there... I guess He really wants me to trust in Him alone!