Surreal

Number dialed. Wait. A "computer" voice answers: "Welcome to ****'s teleconferencing service. Please enter your access code followed by the # sign". I do it. "After the tone please say your name, followed by the # sign". I do it. Weird beeps follow and voilá, I have stepped into a world very different from my regular one. Eight more voices begin to join and in less than a minute a "classroom" of sorts is assembled. We have never seen each other's faces. We had never spoken before, yet for the past three days we have spent five hours together each day.

Minnesota, Idaho, Chicago, New York, California. Japanese, Portuguese, Polish, Spanish and English. Names without faces learning together so as to plug into this abstract representation of the corporate world. This is just the beginning, though. Soon enough each one of us will become a voice for an anonymous individual anywhere in the world. By way of telephonic waves we will become bankers, doctors, nurses, 911 dispatchers, judges, attorneys, insurance brokers, and who-knows-what-else to some non-English speaker lost in this foreign world. I find it surreal, fascinating, intriguing.

For a few minutes we will be a conduit of information that will flow between a corporation and a customer. Maybe we will be the life line that will connect a real, life threatening emergency to the responder that can make all the difference between life and death. Maybe we will simply be the clerk that ensures a payment in time, or a technician explaining a customer how to use their newest technological device. All this will happen upon answering a phone call. Crazy, just plain crazy!

Thankful

We stopped work and play, dished ourselves some food (thanks, Colleen), turned the station, sat down and watched in anticipation. The show is a bit too "wild" for my liking, but there is only one reason we are all tuned in today: a chapter in a love story, our love story. Our engagement is being aired on national TV again and so, we quiet little chattering voices around us and wait.

He appears on the screen and little girly "ooohs", "ahhhs" and giggles fill the room. It has been a rough couple days, so I sit silently watching, remembering. He proposed... I said "sí", or at least I tried and muttered some unintelligible response that translated into the desired affirmation.

Fast forward almost six years... It has been a rough couple days... I want to say yes again! Tears well up my eyes. I love this man.

Hard working, fun loving, sensitive and romantic man. He has filled my days with laughter; his own: loud, happy, full of life; mine: quiet, satisfied, and grateful; and theirs: noisy, constant, pure. My life is full... what more could I ask for.

Product of that happy day full of promise and destiny came her:

An Elena, my Elena. My happy girl who gets "so encigged" by the little things of life, who would live on sweets alone, and who lives to be a princess. **She writes four or five of the letters she knows and reads you a complete story. **She pretends to hold Jesus´hand when walking through a parking lot because it is more grown up than holding on to Mami or Daddy but it is still a hand. **She loves to help her sister on the potty and celebrates her heartily when successful. **She adores her little brother and loves to discover new ways to make him laugh. **She winks, and smiles, and dances, and twirls, and fills my world with dance. She is perfect.

then her:
An Adriana, my Adriana. My little dynamite whose determination is as intense as the big eyes that light up her face. **She is caught in between baby and toddler world, she loves so much being both. **She is determined and independent but craves snuggles more than anything else in this world. **She kisses the sweetest kisses and hugs the tightest embraces full of love. **She does everything with a passion that belongs only to her. **She will sing herself to sleep and pick up the song right where she left it the minute she opens her eyes. **She teases, and jokes, and plays, and sings, and loves and every time she hugs you, her little hand will sweetly rub your back. She fills my days with wonder and she is perfect.

...and him:
A boy! My sweet boy! My other Ben. **He is just as sweet as his daddy. **He loves to laugh. **He looks at my face adoringly when I talk. **His rich blue eyes shine as the sweetness of his smile overtakes his chubby cheeks when I come into sight. **He is as pleasant as he is cute. **He coughs to get attention. **He constantly slaps his right hand as long as he is awake and isn´t holding anything with it. **He is chubby, and chunky, and joyful, and he fills my days with sweetness. He is perfect.

Each one of them is mine. They are mine for a season, he is mine forever. My life is full. My life is perfect.

The floor is down!

1. mid progress

with the stove in place and still pending the trim

The infamous dining room green walls with the new floor.

Our handy helpers: Jeremy and Kris

I figured a couple of my readers (ahem, Dee and Becky)
would love looking at these guys at work!
They did an amazing job, thank you guys for working and ladies for releasing them to us!

A Splash (a very big one) of color...

Here's the deal: except for one person's very enthusiastic and favorable response, most of the comments our (well, my really) color choices have elicited are exclamations of how "latin", "hispanic", or "Guatemalan" it looks. The amount of colors responds to the different activities that we will carry out in this room and wanting to give each area a different feel. It may not have been the greatest of ideas, but we wanted to liven it up. Maybe we went for too many colors, I don't know but we will give it a try and live with it for a little bit (ahem, we are on a deadline here!) and decide later if we will truly keep this color collection or not. In the meantime, here goes nothing:

1. (above) the kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets the long wall's "blanket brown" across the dining room's "coriander seed"

2. (above) Living room/office's "fresh praline" meets dining room's "coriander seed"


3. (above) This is the part that still has us scratching our heads... the closer wall is being hit by sunlight and the "coriander seed" looks a deep green. Move to the wall further back that meets the kitchen... this wall is being hit by the light bulbs in the dining room and it looks more "mustardy"... that's the part we're not sure of.


4. Long wall's "blanket brown" meets living room's "fresh praline"
5. Kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets long wall's "blanket brown" (which are really my favorites in this crazy combo).
6. The kitchen hit by sunlight... my most favorite part of all. When the room is lit by the sun, the colors look so good! So there, maybe you'll come to my newest section of the house and be overwhelmed by my color pallette... sorry. I had fun trying and still don't know how to "fix it" or whether it really needs fixing...

At any rate, the guys are working on the flooring right now, so tomorrow I will post pictures of their final product (as well as pictures of them!). I just wanted to catch you all up with the color portion. Later on, we will see how our mismatched furniture fits in here!

I´ll try

I´ll try to post a pic and a link to the most likely color that will go on that space, hopefully it will work.

1.- On this picture: Left wall: *brown blanket
Back wall (living room area): *wild wheat


2. Right wall (same as left wall in previous picture): *blanket brown
Kitchen and doorway wall: *toasted nutmeg
We will give the kitchen a bit of a face lift, but probably not until we´re moved in. We may remove the cupboard doors and leave them open, maybe... not sure yet, but accents will be white.

3.- The little wall, together with the dining room space (which I don´t seem to have a good picture of): *coriander seed

4.- My office space will be a combination of two of any of these colors.

Day Six

Slowly but steady:

1. Ben finished closing up one side of the old bedroom doorway after working all the necessary wiring.


2. Looking at it from the kitchen. This will be our dining space.


3. & 4. Our old computer room storing probably 90% of Mom and Dad L´s belongings:

Day Five

Again, Day Four seemed to be slower just because of electric stuff going on. Today may begin to see more tangible progress but while that happens I thought I´d share my home office inspiration.

Although I´m not sure the color will work because my little office space will be the darkest spot downstairs with no natural light hitting it anywhere at any time of the day. But there, tell me what you think.

Day Three

Because day two was mostly devoted to working with electric wiring and such, no visible progress was made to photograph. Here's today's progress though.

I should be working on picking some wall colors soon since Ben wants to paint before laying down the laminate flooring.

End of day one

At the end of day one, carpeting is gone and so is the sheet rock on the wall.

Ben is working on the electric to finish taking out the wall
A closer look.

"And the renovation begins right now"

Okay, it may not make much sense but maybe as it develops it will. Bear with me, please. For those who don´t know, we are trading downstairs apartments with Mom and Dad L so as to be on one whole side of the house. It is a first step of a long term remodel we want to ultimately do. Although we don´t know when step 2 will follow, we are pretty excited about getting on with step 1.


1. When you come into their apartment, this wall separates the living room/kitchen from the bedroom.
2. The doorway will be closed in and the wall to the left torn down.

3. Seen from the bedroom: the wall to be demolished to the right now. With the closing of the doorway we intend to somehow use the corner and closet space to make an office space with a built-in interpreting booth in the closet. It may not be the most practical solution but at least that would provide an immediate semi-enclosed space for me to work without completely removing me from family life and won´t require all the electrical re-wiring we would have had to do other wise. Plus, we have a 3 week deadline while Mom and Dad are visiting Andrea in TX.

4. With the wall gone it should open up a larger space for living room, dining area and kitchen.

5. As you can see, carpeting has already been removed. Their kitchen begins at the change of flooring, but we will install new laminate flooring throughout. Notice how lightly I use the term "we". I am mostly in charge of our current living space and the little people. All the exciting plans we had for these days did not materialize, had it not been for the girls´little outing to Aunt Dee´s we would all have ended up couped up with a feverish baby... *sigh* just going with the flow now.

Stay tuned for updates, that is the most exciting thing I can do regarding the project right now!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I am so ridiculously exhausted! For two and a half weeks I have had to wake up at night much more than usual and it is finally beginning to wear on me. We are not dealing with a tummy bug, thankfully, but my girls seem to take after me and gag at absolutely anything when they're sick, so they have thrown up even when their sickness doesn't call for it. So between throwing up, fevers and the attitudes and behavior that go with it, hurting tummys, noses, anythings, bathroom emergencies and the regular nursing wake up times of the night I am, finally, worn out.

Last night (or this morning, when it was still dark, I don't even know anymore) Adriana came to our bed. Although we've been trying to wean her of this, we made an exception this week that she's been sick. She had some milk, the baby woke up so I brought him in bed thinking I was tired enough not to even bother putting him back on his basket, he was going to stay in bed with me. As I was almost asleep I heard Adriana cough... and cough... and cough... aaaand... I had just so much time to lift the baby up and be the target of the projectile! I guess the good news was that whatever I didn't catch her pillow did, so after wiping baby, her, my face and ridding of my nightgown Ben went to sleep with Elena, we threw a big towel on our bed (just in case we missed something) and we went back to sleep at a time that by all reason we should have been waking up.

Even though we woke up at 9, Adriana is still cranky enough that I didn't manage to come downstairs until 10. My body aches, my head aches, my eyes are fighting to stay open and Elena & Ben jr. are ready to take on the world! Cookies and brownies for breakfast and who knows what will make it to the table for lunch and dinner today! arghhh...

New Job

Well, *sigh* there it is. I have signed. I accepted their offer, they´ve accepted mine. Our little family life is about to change dramatically and I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.

I know life is of seasons and this is just another season. I love interpreting, I know it will enjoyable. But I can´t deny that there is a very big part of me that doesn´t like to have home life dictated by a commitment made in exchange of a paycheck.

I will work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12:30 to 5:30 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from 7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. thus totaling 20 hours each week. Ben has made arrangements for his office hours to change, partly because of this, partly due to some re-structuring the church office is going through. At any rate, the re-arranging should work so that he is with the little ones most of the time I´m on the phone.

I won´t leave home. I will work here, but there is something that turns in my stomach every time the recruiters remind me that I am to ensure a quiet space. The lady I was speaking to yesterday, a mom herself, assured me that little ones "get it" and so mine should soon learn that "when the door is closed, they are not to interrupt Mom".... arghhh! I don´t like that! Now, I won´t be behind closed doors per se, but I do need to ensure the quiet space, so we will fashion an office corner with a closet space that we intend to make work as an "interpreting booth".

Thus the mixed emotions... Firstly, we are excited about the extra $$ and are already planning how to disburse it within our budget. Secondly, I can´t deny the excitement of the job in and of itself... what can I say, I do like to interpret. On the other hand, there are the sacrifices to be made at home.

We are fearfully walking through this, understanding that this is something we need to do and will serve as a tool to our family life as we learn to be more disciplined and intentional about our life. We´ll see how it goes and keep you posted!

Ponderings

If you have access to the internet, and if you are a part of some sort of social network you are flooded with all kinds of information these days. From politics to advertising, you have to pick and choose what to read and how you will react to what you read.

Where you focus your sight will determine what you will witness. Where you place your faith will determine what you will see happening for you. What you listen to the most will determine what you will end up believing. Do you wonder what you are witnessing?

I think about the people who lived in the times of Jesus and who witnessed His crucifixion. I think about that very moment when He hung on the cross, as His breathing slowed... What was going through those people´s minds? What were they seeing around them? I´m sure every single face in that setting witnessed to their heart. Did they know what they were witnessing?

I think not. I can almost see the words illustrated by faces as the events unfolded. Doubt... "I thought He was the Savior." Regret: "And I wasted my time following." Hopelessness: "Who is going to save us now?" Uncertainty: "What happens to us now?" Disbelief: "I can't believe this is happening!" Fear: "What does the future hold?" Despair: "Whom do we turn to now?"

As my mind's eye walks this event, I know that these must have only been a few of the questions flooding people's minds that day. As I know they're only a few of the questions that flood people's minds, today. They fill my mind sometimes too. And then I ask myself: "Do I know... Do I know what I am witnessing? Am I missing the miracle in the making?"

Those people may have missed the miracle because they kept looking around the Cross. Would their questions have been different if their focus had been on Him? Could they have seen the love? Could they have understood the miracle? Can WE?

"...Fixing our eyes in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2)

Update

I am in one of those seasons of realizing that the years have most definitely gone by. The things that I´ve considered new for a while aren´t appearing that new anymore.

Take my makeup bag, for example. It is very accurate to say that ALL the makeup I own fits in one of those half quart baggies they let you bring on the plane for toiletries. I only have one item of each category and they are ALL 5 years old. The reason I know this is because my previous makeup bag (which was a little bigger than the current one) was inside the purse that was stolen from me in Guatemala, the October before I got married. I never fully replaced the contents of the bag and that is how I know exactly how old my makeup is.

Probably in the same category fall my techniques for makeup application and hair styling, and my sense of style for that matter. I will inevitably buy the most neutral (aka boring) clothes, because I´m never quite sure what is really in style for my lifestyle (age and status). I will always wear my hair pulled back in the same style or a pony tail because I have absolutely no skill whatsoever for styling hair. And the last time I had to seriously do my makeup for a wedding I about panicked because not only did I not own whatever beauty products were needed for the task but I realized the techniques I´d use would be those I learned back about 15 years ago when I was hip and current. I think an update would be nice, just a little refresher, you know.

Life

It feels as though I´m finally beginning to catch up with life a little. Some areas of the house are beginning to look tidy. Of course, it always seem to go that the downstairs gets better or more work than the upstairs. Mostly because once we come downstairs for breakfast I hardly ever go back upstairs except for nap and bed times. And of course, as I catch up with the house, I must quickly begin to pack this downstairs for our move to the other apartment. As it is, old Susi's room has already become Mom's sowing/storage room.

I have managed to keep on working even when I slow down to nurse the baby. Usually it is hard for me to get up once I sit down because I'll inevitably grab a book, or my crochet and get so caught in in that I stay on the couch doing these things (when I don't fall asleep with him). Today was the hardest day, though. Ben has been doing an hour of activities at a nearby Christian School at the beginning of their day. They call it "Spirit Emphasis Week". Every morning he's been getting up earlier than usual and running off to do this, so we haven't seen him when we get up. So, today when he crossed the front door at around 10.30 a.m. with his bag in hand and the news that he was taking the morning off because he wasn't feeling well it took absolutely every single ounce of my will not to sit with him on the couch!

It is so hard not to sit with him and want to spend time with him when he is home! How does everybody else does it? Once Ben is here I have the strong tendency of ditching responsibilities and just sit with him. Not today, though. Today I succeeded! I kept on working while he sat to work on the computer and I have just sat down now while he took the girls upstairs for naps. Yay for me!!! My house is not in terrible disarray because I've managed to keep up!

My brain

This morning:

What day is it today? ...ohh, yeah, Monday. Ben is gone already. Adriana is calling. Oh my! She must be wet. "Coming, sweetie, go to the bathroom. I'll bring your underwear there." Do we have pull ups up here? Ok, baby sleeps. Change Adriana. I'll fold a basket of laundry while Elena and the baby awaken. Oooops, scrap that thought, the baby is up. "Good morning little sweet heart! You have the brightest smile. I love you". Yikes! His diaper leaked. Change the baby. I'll still try to fold while Elena wakes up. Ok, never mind. "Good morning sweetie! Here let me get you some clothes. Go brush your teeth and get dressed and we'll go downstairs." What can I wear... What's clean. I should throw a load of laundry before I go downstairs. I should REALLY fold at least one basket before I go downstairs. "We're going downstairs in a little bit. What? A little bit? A little bit is a few minutes? Well, not necessarily five, maybe... Don't worry Elena, I'll just get dressed and we'll go downstairs. Find your milk cups while I get ready". I'm out of stain remover, gotta write that down on the list. Hope I don't forget. "Come here little man, we're going downstairs. (louder) Girls? Got your cups? Let's go downstairs!" Man! You'd think I'd pick up a bit last night. This is messy. Where do I even start? Breakfast... COFFEE!! Hmm, Ben probably didn't eat anything, poor guy. "Yes, Adriana, I know you want your juice. Please don't whine, I'll get it to you in a minute. Yes, Elena, I know you want cereal for breakfast, I heard you the first time. What is it buddy? You're not gonna let me eat yet, are you? Let's go nurse you." I'm hungry. I hope he goes to sleep. He is so cute, sweet thing. Hopefully he'll fall asleep for a good while. "Are you done with your breakfast? You want more cereal? I'd like you to wait until I'm done feeding the baby, ok?" I should have left the cereal box on the table, Elena could have gotten it herself. Babies hands are cold, cover him. What will I eat, when will I eat... What time is it? I need to make phone calls. One to Continental. Where else was I supposed to call? I knew I should have written it down. Baby sleeps. Quiet, quiet, quiet... turn light off. "More cereal? sure. Sit on your bummy or your knees, please." Eggs, I'll have eggs. Uh oh, we'll need eggs, and bread, and milk. Grab pen, write it down NOW! What was the other thing? Arghh! Never mind. Grab Bible, pen, journal, coffee... what else? oh, yeah, napkin. Sit down. Breathe. Open Bible, open journal. Take a bite. Wow! I haven't written here in a very long time! "More juice? How do you ask?" Maybe I won't write today either. Where was I? Oh, yeah, today is the 7th, I'll start with a Proverb. Proverbs, Proverbs... 7. Hmmm... wisdom, "Wisdom builds its house" Does it say the same thing in English? Take a sip. "Adriana! Your pants are wet. You forgot to tell me you needed to go." Not really, I forgot to remind her. Take her pants off. Run upstairs to bring fresh pants... of course, the baby´s eyes are now open. Rush, rush, maybe I can still finish my food before he cries. Remember: bring the bathroom cleaning supplies downstairs with me. That downstairs bathroom is in serious need of cleaning. Oh, yeah, a tablecloth too. Change Adriana. Pick up baby. Make a phone call. Make another. Yet another call, we´ll have company for dinner. Clean toilet. Clean sink. Put cleaning supplies away and out of girls´reach. Arghh! Why didn´t I ask Mel how she´s tolerating chicken lately. Chicken! Get it out of the freezer. Crock pot? Oven? Call again. Lunch. What do I make for lunch. Quesadillas? We don´t have cheese. Any sandwich is out of the question, we don´t have bread. Man! What do I make? Open fridge. Scan, scan, scan... look at clock. It´s late! Eggs, how many eggs are there? Scramble. Tater tots. Put in oven...

I´ll drop it here... you get the point though. And I still wonder why I forget things or why I don´t make any sense at times. °sigh°

"Mi Casa es tu Casa"

"Make yourself at home"... How many times do we use phrases like those and really, really, truly, mean it? How many times have we used the phrase and actually lived it out? Well, we have. Six months ago we opened our door to my cousin. She and her baby left us on Thursday. We were sad to see her go, but happy to see her move on to the next season of her life.

Tomorrow she will be on her way to Guatemala, where she will wait for her husband to finish his assignment and be finally reunited as a family in July. She left us filled with memories, some hard, some fun, some really funny, some very sweet. We miss her already!

So, here is to her time with us, laugh with us if you may!

*sigh* =0)

Me: "Adriana, what is this? Why is this all wet?" (After picking up a rubber cup holder she was playing with).

A: "Oh, Is ok, Mommy, I just putting my water in it."

Me: "Water?! Where did you get water from?" (Alarmed at the thought of her "putting" water anywhere else in the house).

A: "Is ok, Mommy is just my water."

Me: "Sweetie, where did you get water from?"

A: "Is just my water from my mouth"

A grocery "shopping" story...

We normally buy our groceries with cash but when we realized how busy we are this week and how we were scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel, we decided to do a grocerys shopping trip tonight. I served dinner, we ate and I bundled the baby and left shortly debit card in hand.

Funny, when I only had Elena I wouldn´t even have dreamed of going out to the store by myself with the baby! Tonight, it was nice to be at the store with an infant who went on the carrier and happily smiled at me without interrupting my shopping at all.

An hour later I had completed my task. I was in the process of transferring my bags to the cart, very excited to have come one Dollar under my budget when the cashier informed me my card had been denied. Of course I had no other payment method, so very embarrassed I left my bags and the store in a hurry.

I ran to the van, baby-in-car-seat in arms and with every step my feelings began to change from embarrassment to anger. Oh I was so angry at... I didn't know who could possibly be the object of my anger! It couldn't be the cashier at the store... Ben? No, while he very certainly was subject to my anger (poor honey!), he was definitely not the object of it! He directed me to the ATM where I realized the problem: my card number had been compromised! I couldn't even check my balance!

How dare these bank people do this to a mother, standing in the cold desolate parking lot while her baby cries his little lungs out strapped to the car seat! I went back to the car, sat at the wheel, and was getting ready to cry (yeah, pathetic, I know). But then I stopped. Hold on a second, I thought to myself. "Ok, Lord, What could possibly be the purpose of my having gone through the wasted trip to the store?", I asked.

Well, I am still waiting for the answer to that one, but after asking the question and driving back home I realized that as upset as I was, I could be thankful that if I couldn't access my money, neither could anyone else. At the very least I could be thankful for this technology that would have allowed such a precaution and with that thought in mind I got home. But above all things I just had to remember that God does make everything work together for good. "Everything" means EVERYTHING, every single little thing, including this silly night of mine.

Our bed isn't ours

For the past 4 years we've had to share our bed with one (or all three) of our children. Though it lends itself sometimes for very difficult sleep for us, we love it. Yeah, sometimes we wake up to wet sheets due to a leaky diaper, sometimes we are kept awake longer than we'd wanted, but all in all it has been a wonderful part of being parents. I love it.

I love when Adriana comes to find her spot between Ben and me to snuggle as close as she can to one of us (usually me). Her little arm comes wraps around my neck and her little face is pressed against mine. That is how she goes back to sleep.

I love opening my eyes in the morning to the milky chunky little body curled up by my side. I love that the minute I move, he immediately stirs looks at me with his baby blue eyes and smiles the widest toothless-cheek-crunching-smile.

And when I am tempted to complain because a little someone is stealing my blankets or leaving me no room to move, all I have to do is remember that although Elena still comes to us occasionally, she is pretty much past that season. My little girl rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now and when she does, she usually takes her little self to the bathroom and back to bed. So I'll take it... as uncomfortable as it may get, I love snuggling with my babies!