Yet Another Quest

As Dee and Becky prepared to receive their babies about a month ago, a lot of information on labor and birth has come my way. Inevitably, I have been intrigued by all that I have read and in the desire of doing whatever is on my power to make each birthing experience better than the last, my next quest has emerged. I think there is always room for learning and I am willing to learn, especially on this matter.

When I was pregnant for Elena I read the book Supernatural Childbirth. I was very much encouraged and motivated to believe this for myself. The book, in a nutshell, speaks about ridding ourselves of preconceived notions of a painful, horrible birthing experience and embracing a renewal of our minds and the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver us from the discomforts of the experience. It quotes scripture to back up their belief and their declarations of faith. I embraced it with my whole heart and believed for a painless labor and smooth delivery. I had absolutely no question or doubt about God's ability (or desire) to make this happen for me, for us... especially because the book says that God will meet you at your level of faith and I knew, that I knew, that I knew that I believed in His power and loving plans for my life.

Long story short, after an eight hour transition and having to push a baby out at only 8 cm dilation the last thing I experienced was a "supernatural birth" as to the book´s suggested standards. I even felt hurt because the book claimed that you only experience pain when you give into fear and I knew that I hadn´t! Needless to say, I threw the book to the bottom of a dark drawer not to be thought of again. I figured God wouldn´t be so cruel as to lead me on to believe He could do this and He would if I only clung to the belief and my faith to then turn and tell me after all, I just didn´t have enough faith.

Upon facing Adriana´s birth I looked at the things I could do differently and went in with no other expectations than to deliver the baby. My standard was the +/- 18 hr labor I experienced and my thoughts were that if I had made it through so many hours of labor, 8 hours of intense and painful contractions every 3 minutes, the last 3 or so hours on pitocin and pushing out a baby while still on a soft enough 8 cm, I could face anything else. It helped that because Adriana was born in the Summer we didn´t fear being snowed in so we weren´t in any hurry to leave for the hospital. I labored mostly at home and made it to the hospital at about 4 p.m. By 7:00 p.m. I had a baby in my arms!

This time around I want to embrace my labor with a positive attitude and just learn a little bit more to make it more comfortable. I have come across all of this stories of women who not only claim to have absolutely no pain through the birthing experience but there even are those who laugh the whole way through, enjoying the experience for the joyous occasion it is supposed to be. Now, in exploring their beliefs, techniques, etc., some attribute it to their own overcoming of fears and personal "inner" strengths; some others acknowledge God's hand in it. Some people do it for faith, some others are just hippie/"earth" people who call it a "primal" event that happens by instinct and, if undisturbed, can happen on its own with no pain or discomfort.

Honestly, I don't want to stir any boiling pots. I don't mean to question anybody else's experience or put labels into such a sublime and joyful time. In my opinion with or without pain God has a beautiful purpose for it, even when we don't understand it. I have found interesting all that I've read... I'll share some of it, some of it I won't for I don't want to be behind anyone clicking on some pretty weird links I've found! Any input is welcome, as well as reading suggestions. Right now, after I finish reading my current book, I have lined up: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth... I'll let you know my thoughts.

Funnies

Adriana´s vocabulary is increasing rather quickly... sometimes it feels as though it goes faster than I can keep up with it. I can´t tell you how many times I find myself searching through context and trying to figure out what she is saying now. But then there are always the times when she catches me off guard and it takes a while before I really think through what she is trying to say. Like today, our lunch was tuna sandwiches. Adriana pulled the chair close to the counter so she could watch me, I was running a little behind, so was quite concentrated on the task at hand. I opened the cans and as I did she said something that I couldn´t quite decipher, so distractedly I just said: "U huhh" and nodded at her. It wasn´t until quite a while later that I realized this is what she kept saying: "Ohhh, Mami! Teetee´s pood!". Much later I translated it in my mind... my sweet girl thought we were having kitty´s food for lunch!!!

Ben usually plays with the girls before they go to bed. The games range from a variety of hide and seek, singing songs, telling stories, physical humor, wrestling them, whatever they are in the mood for. He is great at making them laugh and go to bed in a good mood. One of his latest games consists of his holding them so as to put them in their beds, except that he takes them to the dresser drawer and pretends to say good night only to later say something like "Oh, that´s not your bed!" as they laugh their little hearts out. One of the many weird places he "puts them down" is just holding them as high as he can get them, against a wall (maybe I´ll get a picture next time so it makes sense to you). Adriana is light enough that he can actually hold her over the door frame. Two nights ago, when I went to say good night to Elena she exclaimed: "Mami, I love getting high!", and when Ben and I chuckled at her comment she went on to say: "Really, Mami, I do... I love getting high!!"

Stroller Quest

So our hunt for the perfect stroller continues. Yesterday we went to a couple stores to check out what is there. Really it was mostly because we were looking for new sheets at Sears and just out of curiosity decided to walk through their baby section and found this Eddie Bauer stroller for a very reasonable price. They don´t really offer many more choices, so we didn´t want to jump on it before at least checking out a couple more styles. Especially because we´re not sure it takes any infant car seat and, though we may not need it for this baby, we don´t necessarily know what the future will hold, so we want to be wise about our buy.

At any rate, I must say I have had fun trying strollers out. We did find the coolest stroller ever! It is so much fun! You can adjust it to pretty much anything you want... children facing front, facing each other, facing you... it takes any infant car seat in the whole world and has a huge storage basket in the bottom. The down sides of it? Well, the price, for starters! And the tiny detail of folding up into a monster and weighing in at about 50 lb!!! You can picture attempting to "gate check" that thing!!! But it was fun playing with it!

Another one that keeps getting our attention, mostly because of the freedom of movement (which is a great plus for Adriana) is the Joovy sit´n´stand. It takes any car seat, it is reasonably priced (we did find it cheaper than the link), light and easy enough to fold and carry.

We still have quite a while before this baby comes but I would really like to have the stroller by the time Ben runs his marathon in September. I have already done one simple race without a belly and two little girls and it wasn´t very successful. Especially when they saw Ben and quite excitedly decided to try and run with him... we got a few yells when they were blocking other runners on their way in! And knowing my tiny little girl, I probably want her used to the stroller so we don´t try to break it in right then and there! Oh well... thanks for bearing with me... it helps me process, though I know it must not be very interesting to read!

Projects

It's been a while since her idea inspired me to do something similar. I couldn't find the material I was looking for (in my own home!) but today, in a struck of genius (it was really pure luck!), I found exactly what I wanted.

I moved a few things around the living room walls and I am proud to say I have no more bare walls in it (much to the point of risking it now looking crowded!!! Oh well!). The end result:

(Bear with me, I am trying to give you a 360o view of the room)

Skip to the opposite wall, and continue panning:

Now, the top picture we've had for almost a year. The bottom picture we just got today in one of those promotions at the mall where they give you a free 8x10. We were very good and kept only the free picture (though you know how it is... you love absolutely all of them!) plus, we stopped at the Christmas Tree Shop to buy frames! In this home, that is extremely successful!!!

Adriana

Wear and Tear

In many ways I still feel like a newly-wed. All of our "new" stuff we got at the wedding still qualifies as new in my mind. So it came as a big surprise when after a couple days of using our Spring/Summer sheets on our bed I found a gaping tear on the fitted sheet! How in the world? These are new!!! I thought. But upon deeper thought and a more objective look around my little house I realized... ohh! We've been using these things for almost five years now! Nothing stays new forever, of course, I just guess I wasn't ready for the sudden realization. No wonder our shower curtain in the bathroom downstairs looks dull... and the matching rug, regardless of how many times I wash it, it still looks stained and dirty! duh! Of course, that's why our towels don't feel as soft anymore! I guess our list of things to buy for around the house just got bigger...

On an interesting/funny/silly/I-don't-even-know-how-to-qualify-this note... For a couple times already we've looked into the requirements for my citizenship. Mostly we've stopped the process because though we consider it important, it still hadn't made #1 in our priority list. We had other things like closing costs on the house, house taxes and such to take care of before we could look into that process. As time goes by and we manage to control more and more of our finances, "naturalization" has been going up on the list and so I decided to download the first form and fill it out promptly. One of the items to list is the exact amount of days I have spent traveling outside the United States, so I pulled out my passport and began the counting.

All this time we have celebrated our US wedding on November 25th. Well, when I looked at my passport, it didn't make any sense at all. My passport has a stamp that puts me entering the country on November 25th!!! I called Ben at the office and asked him... "Honey, when did we get married here in the US?" "November 25th" was his confident reply. Ladies and gentlemen, both of us have had the wrong date all along!!!

I went to check our marriage certificate... We actually got married on November 30th! Go figure! I guess having three marriage dates can mess up your mind just a bit!

Quick pic update

The bump

Sweet sisters

Smiling upon request! Both of them! Unbelievable!

Do I trust Him?

Once again, our church is sending out a team on a short missions trip to Mexico. Last time we couldn´t go because Adriana was due that same month. We stayed home, worked the home front while everyone else was gone and longed for the next opportunity where we could go out in the field. We knew the next trip would be for us! There wasn´t even a question of whether we´d go or not, it had been decided... until we found out the dates: November 01 - 10!!

What are the odds? Of course, this little one is due in November. My traveling is completely out of the question although I´m not due until the 22nd and my babies don´t like to be told when to come so they like to take their time. There is just no possible way and airline would let me board while 8 months pregnant for an international flight, of all things!

As the days have passed and preparations began Ben really felt he needed to at least consider going on this trip. He asked me to pray about it and we'd visit it again in a few days to see how we felt. Mind you, I did not want to pray about it because I knew it would be a challenge to my faith and I knew what my answer should be. The more I prayed the more I felt the Lord challenging me to release my husband and depend upon Him alone. He is not going to do anything that will harm me or my children and since He is the only one who really knows when this baby is coming, He'd be the best to trust. Now, who can argue with Him? Within a couple hours of praying (let alone days) I knew what my answer needed to be, I knew I had to release my husband.

I informed Ben about it right away and he still was gracious enough to take a few days before making a final decision. He does want my mom to be here when he leaves (no complains here!), so I'm not all by myself. I am a thinker so I have thought constantly about my decision and all its possible implications. What can I say, I am a thinker and a planner... so my mind has been racing with things like Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas shopping, Christmas cards, and there has been a train of thought somewhat like this going on in my mind:

"**It wouldn't hurt to have an emergency plan in place. Would it?

**I am trusting the Lord that He won't let Ben miss the birth of this baby but I am not God and I don't know if His plans are different than mine... would setting up an emergency plan be lack of faith? hmmm... let me think...

**I've rested assured by the fact that I now have Mom and Dad next door

**Dan and Maria are also upstairs...

**A couple of miles away I have Dee and another couple of miles in the opposite direction I have Maureen... yeah, I'll be ok... I could have Dan and Maria come watch the girls while Mom drives my mom and myself to the hospital... however...

**Mom and Dad will be in Texas for Andrea's baby's arrival... there's no knowing when they'll be back.

**Dan and Maria... will be in Mexico with the rest of the team.

**Okay, then... let's see... Maybe Dee and Maureen... one could drive and the other one could stay with the girls... hmm... Dee has a husband who works evenings so she can't just leave at the drop of a hat, come to think of it, Maureen may not be able to leave so easily either since both Dee's oldest children and Maureen's oldest son are planning on being a part of that missions team... they wouldn't necessarily be able to arrange care for their own children at a moment's notice!

**Okay, who else... Colleen! She is a bit further than anyone else, she could definitely come rescue us... wait a minute... isn't she also planning on going on this trip! hmm... I'm sure we'll be able to line someone up!"

Now, I actually find it quite humorous... it would be God and Him alone to know how to really make this decision be a challenge of faith for me! Every possible security I could give myself He is making sure is not there... I guess He really wants me to trust in Him alone!

They're here!

The babies we expected these past few weeks (locally) are both here. Both girls, beautiful and healthy.

Meet them (in order of appearance) in their corresponding sites:

Riley Johanna Miner

and our newest niece: Bella Pearl Moore


My phone will finally spend the night downstairs and now we are left to wait for those upcoming babies in the next few months and further away from us!

The miracle of life! What can I say, it's amazingly breathtaking, life consuming and absolutely wonderful! What an amazing God we have!

Looong

Days and weeks have been feeling so long since I've been suffering allergies. I don't think I normally have them unless I am pregnant. So I've dragged through the last few days trying to stay ahead to avoid congestion in between living life. In between drinking jugs of lemon water, breathing in steam, staying away from dairy, and using plenty of saline spray we have:

:: Waited with them and then celebrated the arrival of their new baby

:: Waited with them for the arrival of theirs (still waiting)

:: Visited with them

:: Had numerous phone conversations with Guatemala. It is so funny how my life here seems to be unaltered yet I am still a part of things down there of the phone... it is kind of crazy!

...and so many other things that I can't really take the time to write down. In spite of all my efforts, I did start feeling the familiar symptoms of sinusitis. This time, instead of going for antibiotics as I had to do when pregnant with Adriana, my doctor figured we should try to go for the root of the problem: the allergies. So after my first take of the antihistamine I am feeling much better, I've stopped the sneezing and nose running and eyes watering and it seems as though I am now left to deal with the remaining congestion. Hopefully that will be all it takes.

As for today, it will feel exceptionally long as Ben will be away for the day. I am homebound, the weather is so hot and my options are limited. I have no car and our road is not safe for walking with little girls. Their summer pool hasn't been set up yet (I actually don't think I even know where Ben stored it for the winter!) and this house doesn't have a hose hookup outside so keeping little girls busy today will be quite interesting!

Fascinating

I know you, mothers of more than one, will relate and maybe even know better about this as you may have had more opportunities to observe your older-than-mine-children. I´m sure you´ll agree with my guess that the fascination and amazement never ceases, even at the most simple of things. Here are two little girls, grown in the same womb, nursed by the same mom, being raised by the same two parents under the same principles, yet they couldn´t be more different than each other!

*If offered bagels for breakfast, Elena wants hers with butter and jelly, while Adriana eats it with cream cheese.

*Elena will do anything to eat a chocolate chip cookie, and though Adriana does like them, she would much rather have chips.

*When served a meal, Adriana will more likely eat the greens while Elena will devour the meat, or chicken.

*Except for cantiloupe, watermelon, sometimes apples and very occasionally mango, Elena is not too keen on fruit. Adriana will pretty much eat any fruit I give her.

*When we take them outside to play, Elena will keep her sweater and shoes on. In fact, sometimes she won´t even want to take her sweater off once she is inside. Adriana, on the other hand, will rid herself of anything that makes her feel restricted. She totally loves to run barefoot on the grass and hates wearing sweaters and such nuisances.

*We never make it to our destination without having to rescue Adriana´s shoes from somewhere in the van, having to re do her hair and doing a search for her cup and any snacks she may have had. Whereas Elena has everything in its rightful place.

*Adriana will watch a show for a little bit of time and then get distracted by a toy or just any person that happens to be around. Elena focuses attentively on any show she may be watching and she can almost quote lines of certain movies right before they come on.

*Elena quietly enjoys music, Adriana will attempt to sing anything off the top of her lungs even if it is the very first time she hears it.

*Elena likes her own personal space. She is very loving and affectionate but only when she feels like it. Adriana will make herself fit in any space as long as she is on top of you, this includes when she is sleeping.

*Although they loved both of us deeply, Elena is totally and completely in love with her Dad, while Adriana could never live without her Mom.

And so the list goes on, and on and I am sure it will only grow as time goes by. I am just amazed by it and can only wonder... what is this next little person going to be like?

Blah...

Yesterday was that kind of day... blah, at least that is how I felt. Mostly because I was tired from a poor night's sleep. One thing about pregnancy is that I get all these weird dreams that usually make me more tired than I was when I went to sleep. I don't know why, but I don't get as many weird dreams when I'm not pregnant.

Elena woke up at 4 a.m. crying, I guess she'd had a bad dream. She usually asks for Ben, so he went to check on her, but this time she wanted me. I went over, kissed her, told her to go back to sleep and so I thought she did. When I was finally drifting back to sleep myself I felt her little hand tugging at my shirt. As I turned to look at her she triumphantly whispered her announcement; she had just gone to the bathroom! Followed by the request to climb in bed with us. I let her.

She was quietly next to me, trying to go back to sleep when Adriana woke up and asked for her milk. I gave her what was left of it and told her to go back to sleep. And so it went, with them taking turns to say something or do something until at 6.30 I finally gave up. It normally doesn't happen with lack of sleep but I was cranky this morning. Fortunately, Ben had the day off so once he was done with his training run he let me go back to bed and I took a nap.

Now, I don't know if it was all that's on my mind or just the messed up sleep schedule but I never quite felt 100% and the rest of the day went blah. To top it all off I had a dentist appointment, at least it was only a cleaning.

I have to admit I am caught in thought and a little worry. I need to remind myself of God's sovereignty. I need to remind myself that as much as I love the people I love, God still loves them more. I need to remind myself that He can intervene where I can't and that my prayers are more powerful than my words or my actions can ever be. Finally, I need to remind myself that no matter what decisions people make, He is still in control.

Catching up

I am very much amazed at how fast time is going by. I know it always happens once spring really kicks in, but it always amazes me in the end how quickly the weeks seem to go by. There is nothing much going on on this front... let's see:

++ special meetings at church last week from Saturday night until Wednesday night

++in between meetings we had a grocery shopping trip on Monday; Ben had a meeting on Tuesday at 6.30 a.m. followed by a guest for breakfast here at home; lunch out with our guest speaker on Wednesday

++Thursday was clean up day. Not only did we need to prepare our home to receive my aunt and cousin visiting from Guatemala, but we needed a desperate spring cleaning since I had been so sick and unable to keep up with the house. Little beds were moved around the girls room, laundry was caught up, odds and ends were distributed to more hidden places (the attic or basement) and our house looked tidy and felt peaceful.

++Our guests arrived at midnight. I picked them up from the airport and we begun a whirlwind of activity. Probably what would best describe the visit would be FOOD! It felt like we ate at every turn, but it was fun. The girls enjoyed having them as did they the girls. We did everything from shopping to watching a couple movies and even a bonfire at some friends on Saturday night.

++Their departure came too quickly on Sunday morning and by church time it was already a new page in our little book. We couldn't make a much awaited birthday party after church due to over tired little girls, but we rested at home.

++Memorial day we decided to stay home and rest. A down day was a nice change of pace. Mom and Dad bought ribs that Ben made on our grill and we had a nice end of the day with a picnic in the backyard with our family.

++Yesterday we had our doctor's appt. where we got to see our little one again! How fun and exciting and amazing! Our little one is moving all over the place although I can't yet feel them.

To sum it all up, we are blessed and happy for the gift of life, the gift of family and the gift of friendship!

The progress of life

Our robins in the bush

Sweetest Elena

Cutest, dramatic Adriana
("Tía Mariel" is in the bathroom and she is
so very upset that she can't go in with her...)

...and out tiniest baby

I never imagined...

Being in one of those weird I-can't-sleep-so-I'll-think moments I began thinking about life, how it changes, how it surprises and how much it challenges. Some of my thoughts were deep, some not so much and some were simply fun and interesting... I'll share some of those:

I never imagined:

**that I would be taking prenatal vitamins non-stop for over three years (so far). From getting pregnant with Elena through nursing her, getting pregnant with Adriana, nursing her and having weaned her once already pregnant with this baby, I began taking prenatal vitamins in May of 2004 and am still taking them.

**that I wouldn't be able to even remember the last time I slept all night through without any interruptions. I can only go as far as to say that it was during my pregnancy with Elena.

**that even when I can't remember when the last night of uninterrupted sleep was I would still function normally through the day.

**that my closet would be full of clothes in about four different sizes and I still have days when nothing fits me!

**that a day would come when I wouldn't have time to do my hair (or make-up) and that it wouldn't matter all that much.

**that two adults and two toddlers snuggling in one queen sized bed could be so precious and sweet even when there is so little room.

**that my heart can swell afresh with love and all kinds of tender feelings every time I see my precious little ones.

**that while at the same time simple and complicated, life could be so full of happiness and blessings!

Backyard discoveries

The first discovery was in the attic. I still don´t know how Ben spotted it there but he did. This robin´s nest can only be appreciated like the picture shows if you are actually in the attic looking out, which is how Ben took the picture.

Now this one, is just sitting in a bush next to our front door (which we never really use). How cool is that?

And the most exciting one (for the girls, funny for us) is this baby mouse found in the yard.

Nothing much

I am feeling much better but inevitably tired. Therefore I am very lazy and slow lately. After I make a meal you'd think I just cleaned my whole house because I just have to sit down and if left too myself for too long (5 minutes usually is all it takes) I will fall asleep.

Our time has been split between being outside, doing some watercolor painting and watching "Pokicondis" (Pocahontas).

Elena and Adriana have both taken on to "act" pregnant... I guess I must be quite the role model.

If there is one thing I despise in life it is throwing up. I will avoid it at all costs and I remember my mom's advice of breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth slowly being somewhat effective, so I'll try that and anything else that offers some hope. At the urgency of feeling like throwing up I seem to have developed a routine that Adriana is more than happy to play out through the day for me. According to Adriana's interpretation, I apparently put my hand on my mouth, bend over (from a sitting position), and breathe heavily... I don't know what to tell you.

Elena, on the other hand, is constantly informing me of her baby's different needs. "Mama, my baby needs chocolate" or "My baby doesn't want to ______ (fill in the blank with the task at hand: eat, sleep, go potty, etc.)". When asked about this baby of hers, her reply was that Jesus put a baby in her belly. I guess it makes sense that she'd think like that since after the miscarriage when she'd ask when I'd get another baby in my belly our response was that we needed to ask Jesus to put another baby there. So if it works for me, why shouldn't it work for her, right?

Happy Mothers Weekend!

Mothers Day in Guatemala is celebrated on May 10th always. So with Mothers Day this year being on the 11th I actually enjoyed a Mothers Weekend more than a Day.

My wonderful husband made sure the weekend was a blessing in full.

He gave me a little basket full of gifts on Saturday. He was thoughtful and sweet and made sure I had at least one little gift from each of our babies, including the one in heaven. Yes, you can imagine I was a basket-case. My gifts ranged from books to very dark chocolate bars, a new water bottle and assorted cold tea drinks. The girls wrote in a card for me as well but they had more fun helping me open the packages.

The afternoon followed with a family gathering to celebrate Dad L's birthday. We had our out-of-town Levenduskys join us for the occasion and all the cousins had great fun playing together! The food was awesome too.

Sunday met me with a wonderful french toast breakfast made by my sweet man, even though he had to preach and "run the show" at church for the weekend! After church we came home for naps and then my evening was yet to start. They took me out for dinner at Macaroni Grill... simply fabulous! Since little girls can only be distracted for so long at a restaurant, dessert followed by driving through a Starbucks.

After baths, some laughing time with Daddy and bedtime, Ben and I finished the evening with a movie of my choosing.

I constantly need to remind myself of how blessed I am to have a husband who doesn't just get special days out of the way. He doesn't buy me gifts out of obligation... He truly makes every effort to bless me and make me feel special, especially on days like these. What else can a girl wish for? I am spoiled rotten!

Drumroll please...

As per my ticker... today I begin the much awaited 12th week of this pregnancy!

Meaning: I'm done with the first trimester

Interpretation: I should be feeling so much better from here!

I'm very optimistic and hopeful... promise to keep you posted

Vacuum - phobia

For quite some time our vacuum cleaner has been broken. As you may all remember, Elena has a history of disliking any noise-making-appliances and the vacuum cleaner is high up in the list. So there was quite a relief as for several weeks the only way I could clean our carpets was by sweeping them.

Well, someone wanted to bless us and gave us an old vacuum cleaner, not without first warning us that it is loud. Let me tell you, it is loud! And after the weeks of vacuum cleaner withdrawal, won't you know that Adriana has suddenly developed the same condition of Elena's.

No cleaning session happens around this house without little girls running in every direction, plugging their ears and crying! Their cries are so full of sorrow... it is sad... a tough life for them, you can imagine as they run to and fro saying "No more noise, please, Mama!!!"

When the machine goes off the running becomes more objective. They run to me, hug my leg really tight as they hold these (very cute, I have to admit) pouts in their faces and they whimper as they ask: "You all done, Mama?" What can I say, it is quite the adventure!