Here we are

I can´t tell you how many times I have attempted to write here only to hit a block. I don´t know what to say... partly because I am so absent minded, partly because I´m so emotionally loaded I don´t even seem to know where my triggers are.

What I can say is that at least my down times are spent sitting on the couch with little girls climbing all over me which, except for the times when they climb on my belly, I thoroughly enjoy.

Other than that, a few shopping trips here and there to begin preparing what I need to pack for the hospital, going through newborn clothes and washing them, setting up the moses basket next to my bed so the girls can familiarize with it and not climb on it once there is a new little person in it, and wait.

I am setting my mind to go past my due date like the last time, however, everyone seems to have a hard time believing that my due date is not until Nov. 22. So I am slowly getting ready just in case these contraction spells that have already begun are a little bit more than just warming up.

With that, I will go... before my mind wanderings take me down too much senseless thoughtless ramblings...

36 Weeks

I am on the 36th week of this pregnancy. I am carrying this baby so low that hardly anyone believes me when I tell them I still have 4 weeks to go (at least until my estimated due date). But here we are, believing that at least I will stay pregnant until Saturday that my mom comes home (coincidentally, Mom L. will be back that weekend too). Based on my previous pregnancies, I am not expecting to go before my due date, but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared just in case this would be an early arrival.

So in getting ready I have tons of things in my mind. Lists of things I'd like to accomplish before the baby comes, how I want to approach Holiday shopping when I have no budget for it right now (our budget was cleaned out by an unexpected car repair), how I want to foresee entertainment for the girls while we're in the hospital (they will at least visit one day and it will probably be for a few hours, so the better prepared we are the better), etc. All of this while being as absent minded as ever! I keep forgetting what I went into rooms for, leaving food that I intended to reheat (and eat) in the microwave until the next day, and as soon as I am full of energy and feel as though I will conquer the world, I realize how unrealistic that attempt was or a nerve on my leg will get pinched and I won't be able to move for the next while.

Then there is the overall preparation to receive this next little person and make the necessary adjustments as our family grows and hosts another little family at the same time.

I've heard people say that the hardest transition is from one to two babies, others claim that it is from two to three because at this point there are more children than adults in the clan. Going from one to two proved to be quite challenging for us, so I wonder... how do we handle this one? Any advice, seasoned Moms out there?

My Girls

::Adriana gave us quite the scare this week when she fell off the bed. At first she cried right away, but then she just stayed there, on the floor, white as a ghost, little eyes closed. I woke her up and she was so limb and weak and all she wanted to do was sleep, so we kept her up all the way to the ER. You will never know how long that ride felt! Thank God, by the time the doctor made his way to check on her she was happily blowing bubbles, had recovered her color and was willing to move around like her normal little self.

But that's our Adriana, fearless... she climbs on anything and everything she can. Her favorite places in the world are Daddy's shoulders and Mami's side. She loves sleeping and cuddling with us and she'd do it all the time if we'd only let her! She's my little "melancholic"... loves to sing, loves to dance, has the hardest time coping with changes or things not going her way, so she seems to be sad most of the time. When she is in a good mood, though, she is the sweetest, most loving, and affectionate little person in the world. She bestows the tightest squeezes and juiciest kisses there can be. And she is going to be a big sister soon...

:: Elena, makes us laugh and life with her is very fun. Just on Sunday she excitedly came to us saying: "Daddy, Mami, listen... I am E - le - na... see!!! I am not 'nena' anymore! I can say E-le-na!!" She was so thrilled at her accomplishment. She is very thorough in the things she enjoys like puzzles, drawing letters, and coloring. All of a sudden she is so grown and is such a great little helper. I realize I have to remind myself to catch up with her maturity in some areas and her increasing ability to be helpful as well. She is also far more aware of so many things that we can imagine. A couple days ago she said to me: "Mami, when you push the baby out, maybe you will cry a little and I will say 'oh, it's ok, Mami' and rub your back, then we will hold your baby and she will cry and I will say 'oh, it's ok, sweetie, your Mama is here'" Now, we have been saying things here and there in an attempt to prepare them both for the new arrival, but never did I expect for her to nail it so right on and involve herself in the actual process of the baby's birth!

She is my night owl, understands far more Spanish than she leads to believe and has her daddy's sweet tooth!

I am so blessed by my two girls, even when their ages and stages pose the challenges they do. They are the sweetest, most loving, most beautiful little girls and can't wait to meet this third little person. I do get scared, at times, when I realize the work, sacrifices and challenges ahead, but when I weigh them in light of the joy they bring I know it will all be alright!

For fun

Book Meme

I'd never heard of this before but I, too, got tagged so here it goes:

From Spiritual Midwifery, Ina May Gaskin, p.56

"As the moments ticked by and the ambulance got closer and closer, we had a sterile birth pack up there, the room changed, and all the visitors were gone. All of a sudden, just before the ambulance came, it all settled down. It felt like turbulence turning into a peaceful tool. The ambulance pulled right around to the back room, and the midwives helped the laboring mother right into the bedroom."

Instructions:

Grab the nearest book.

Open to page 56.

Find the fifth sentence.

Post the text of the next two to five sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.

Don't dig for the coolest book, or most intellectual book, or your favorite book--pick the closest book.

Tag five more people.

I tag: Brietta, Melanie, Darlene, Danica (only if you find a couple minutes before the new baby arrives!), and Becky

A shout out!

We are getting ready for the season ahead of us and my list of upcoming events includes, but is not limited to, my mom's arrival; a little surprise "shower" for Susi with her husband's family traveling from different states; our baby's arrival; Susi's mom's arrival; the possibility of my dad and brothers coming in for Christmas; Susi's husband's arrival; and Susi's baby's arrival... all of that in addition to the regular demands of life.

Our preparation has us thinking logistics, how we can provide comfortable accommodations without breaking our budget, mainly. I thought of "shouting out" for some help in procuring some items we may need. If you had any of the following to lend, sell or give away, we would be very grateful:

One or two nightstands,
an area rug (12" x 12")
a couple throw rugs (any size) or hallway rugs
a book shelf or small dresser
lamps for said night stands
a free standing screen (to provide a sense of privacy for a sleeping space)

If you have any of these items and would like to lend a hand, please let me know!
Thanks!

34 weeks

These is what we're looking like at 34 weeks! Ben posed as well...

Blueberry muffins

All the meetings this week have thrown our regular schedule off and we´ve been having late nights, late mornings, late naps, etc. However, that little disarray served a wonderful purpose this morning. For the first time in months, and months, and months, I was able to actually open my eyes before any other member of this little family.

That led the way for blueberry muffins to be made before they were downstairs and even earned me a "Mami, you´re the best for making these!" from Elena (then again, who can go wrong with blueberry muffins?).

So it was a happy, although late, morning in this home!

P.S. Thank you all for your encouraging comments on my last post... yeah... this pregnant woman is going through some hormonal ups and downs! Thanks for your love and understanding!

Unsophisticated me

Here I am... sorry about the unannounced absence. We had three days of fasting and prayer at church in preparation for some special meetings with Pastor Charlie Sweet this weekend. I can't really fast that much food, so I "fasted" internet, among other things. We are very excitedly looking forward to this weekend's meetings.

:: I've been asked about the ticker on my blog. I don't know what happened but it sort of got stuck on 19 weeks about two months ago and I've unsuccessfully tried everything to restore it, but it always comes back in as 19 weeks. So, If I can't get a newer one, I'll have to keep track of the pregnancy the old-fashioned way: I am 33 weeks along. Thanks for your interest!

:: Every once in a while I look at older pictures (aka pictures of my life as a single, children-less woman) and I wonder if I am being unfair to my husband and children as we; all wonder where that woman went. In my way through marriage and motherhood I have lost several habits I used to have. Some are justified (at least in my mind) some have simply slipped away from me. I know I've blogged about this before... I've mentioned how there used to be a time when I wouldn't even consider leaving home without makeup, where I'd make sure my hair was styled, my clothes carefully chosen and matched, etc.

Among the justified changes: When I have a newborn, especially, I ditch the lipstick, the wristwatch and perfumes on purpose. The lipstick because I keep kissing that little tiny face and don't want to leave any residue on the sweet baby; the wristwatch because I don't want to hurt the babe when I shift them from arm to arm, car seat, moses basket, etc.; and the perfume because I don't want to overwhelm that new baby with the strong scent of a perfume. Then come the comfortable shoes to make life after a toddler easier on my feet; the more simple outfits that won't mind smudges of sticky fingers, food stains and other incidents that happen when you live life with little ones.

Then, among those that have simply slipped away are the styling of the hair... I just don't have the time to blow dry my hair every single time; etc., etc., etc. Then there is the money you need to spend in order to keep up with hair styles, clothes, make up... it is expensive to look sharp all the time! I have become so "unsophisticated" not to say plain... am I doing my family a disservice? Do I look as frumpy as I feel, especially when I compare myself to my "old" self and/or I get someone like Susi living with me who spends so much time doing her hair, and nails, and make up, and her husband isn't even here to see her right now!

Oh well... I suppose it is another one of those seasons we have to go through... right?

Today

Due to Elena's medicine (which, happlily, she will be done with tomorrow!) she has had a hard time sleeping. My poor sweet girl, not only she already struggles with wakeful hours every so often but now is having the hardest time going to sleep and staying asleep long enough. It hasn't been uncommon during these 10 days of medicine for me to come out of the bathroom in one of my many trips during the night to walk by their bed and see her wide eyed little face looking at me (because no remodeling has been done upstairs, we still have to walk through their room to go in and out of ours). Bless her little heart, she'll stay there trying to go back to sleep for who knows how long. Last night was one of those and it was past midnight when she finally fell asleep. I didn't sleep to well last night either, so at about 7:00 a.m. Ben woke me up to let me know he'd be going downstairs to work on his message for Saturday night. He gave me a kiss and quietly left the room, I drifted back to sleep in the hopes of sleeping a little longer as I realized I had a headache.

Next thing I knew, Ben was back on the side of the bed, waking me up again with a smiling Adriana in his arms. As Adriana threw her arms at me Ben told me that she had already had breakfast and that he needed to leave for the office. "What?!" I vaguely remember Adriana's little hand stroking my face and telling her that I wasn't feeling too well, could we go back to sleep for a little longer... I have no idea when she got out of bed and how she managed to make enough noise for Ben to come get her without my waking up. So Elena and I rolled out of bed at about 9:30!!!

In spite of having forgotten that I had to take Susi to get her hair cut and having had to get the girls ready and out in a hurry, I managed to accomplish a few things. I cleaned my kitchen, got dinner for tomorrow started in the crock pot, baked an apple pie, and almost finished the countdown calendar I'm working on to get the girls (more) excited about my mom's coming. The girls' room still awaits some serious work (that's why I haven't showed any pictures of the new beds) but as pregnant as I am, I don't envision finishing it before next week is over.

Well, thanks for letting me ramble!

Please pray

Many times during the day, as I feel this baby move inside of me, I remember them. My heart breaks as I can't even imagine going through such an ordeal and my prayers are for the overshadowing peace of God to cover them and minister them through it all. Please pray for them even if you don't know them!

Fall

Very slowly, but surely, we are getting ready for the season. I love the fall... the colors, the scents, the landscapes, the crispness in the air... everything! To top it all off we're having a baby this fall! Could life be any better?

This little world of mine

:: There are now two twin beds set up in the girls room. One toddler bed has been taken apart and will be thrown away (it was a second hand one that wasn't going to last that much longer when we got it) and the other one still sits in the room waiting for a final decision. There are piles of clothes all over the place, a dresser crammed up against a wall and a rocking chair temporarily unaccessible.

:: The girls are having way too much fun with this sleeping together thing. We might still try to push it, though because Adriana didn't come to our bed until 4:00 this morning. So we'll try to give it a few more days. The giggles, laughing, talking, playing, etc., are proving a bit difficult to control right now but we'll try for a while longer.

:: Adriana is quite anxious to "go peep on the toyet". Bless her little heart, she hasn't yet quite figured how to hold it until she reaches the bathroom. More often than not she'll ask and run to the bathroom, take her diaper off and sit on the toilet only to say "It's not working, Mami!" because her diaper is already holding most of it. Tonight, however, she did the same thing and ever faithfully Ben helped her get on the seat. Lo and behold, she went!!! Much to our and her own amazement. The only problem is that after having put her to bed she felt the urge to go, ran off the bed, took off her diaper but couldn't work past her pj bottoms and I already had to change her. I haven't pushed it but if she wants to be off diapers before this baby comes, I'm up for it!!! I'm not letting my hopes get too high, though.

:: Did I mention that my mom has a ticket for November 01? Oh yes! We are having a baby before the season is over!

More little nothings

Browsing through craiglist today I found a set of twin beds/bunk bed for only $50. So a day that was supposed to have Ben gone in the morning, back in the afternoon and then all of us gone to church at night turned into Ben gone all day, rushing back to get to church and a very late (but fun) bed time for the girls.

We knew that we were going to need twin beds soon to replace the toddler beds the girls had been using and also serve as extra guest beds as the holidays approach. Of course, I wasn't expecting us to find a good deal this weekend so I have all the seasonal clothes all over the girls' bedroom floor as I sorted out what stays for next Summer and all that fun stuff (this is my excuse for the lack of pictures tonight). But upon returning from church Ben got to work and set up one of the beds and we put both girls to sleep together. Partly because we only had room and time for one bed, partly because we weren't yet ready for two twin beds and had sheets only for one, and partly because I am hoping that by having a bed partner Adriana will sleep longer in her room and not need to come to bed with me. I would like to wean her from that before the baby comes.

I am thrilled to have the beds and am so grateful for my husband's dedication in accomplishing this tonight. The poor guy, you have to wonder how tough it is to live with me lately when he jumped at the chance to make me happy and, literally, did not rest or eat until at least one bed was put together! I'll show you pictures later!

Tidbits of everything

:: I am very happy to report that Elena's medicine is going down without much of a battle after all. I owe it mostly to my amazing husband, but in the end, she got the whole little chart down and eventhough it still takes her a few minutes to finish it, she is very excited to go draw her happy face on her chart. At the end of the day, she (and her sister) get however many skittles match the happy faces on the chart. So even when the first day a headlock was called for and so much medicine was wasted, since the second dose it has been going down much easier! thank you Lord!

:: Usually I forget how raw this season of pregnancy can be. It is so ridiculous that I have to struggle so much with my hormone loaded flesh and I end up frustrated at being so unsuccessful at the end of the day. I am very short of patience with the girls. I find myself annoyed at the most ridiculous and pathetic things and I'm just getting so tired of it. Sometimes I think the more I sleep the happier humanity will be... but I do know that is very unrealistic and it just ignores a problem. I have to remind myself that this is a circumstance that only raises an awareness of things I need to bring to the cross. I have to learn to submit my will, my flesh and my all to Him. I need to let myself die and Him grow in me. And I ultimately get so discouraged by finding that more often than not I have to repent for the failure instead of celebrating the victory. One day at a time... right?

:: Speaking of hormone loaded behaviors, the nesting instinct keeps hitting hard. My sweet husband has tried to please me as much as our strength will allow since our finances aren't allowing for much right now. Since we first moved to the apartment upstairs the kitchen-hallway linoleum has always made this "sticky" noise. We have attributed the noise to the age of the linoleum, assuming that probably it had become unglued in areas large enough to create an air pocket that led to the noise. That kitchen hadn't been a priority and we've often discussed the several ideas we have for it, but no final decisions have been made, mostly because of finances. This week, however, in an attempt to appease the monster (in me) and not break our finances Ben proposed a happy medium: the counters and linoleum need to be taken out sooner or later, so let's just get to it. He began yesterday and all that old linoleum began to come off. We thought that, if nothing else, we'd at least get rid of the sticky noise. Guess what? It wasn't the linoleum what has made the noise all along... it is the actual boards that the linoleum was glued to! So now we have no linoleum and still the sticky noise! Oh well, at least it looks now like an ongoing project!

Asking advice from the more seasoned moms...

We had to take Elena to the doctor because of a stubborn cough that had lasted for three weeks. She wasn't feeling too poorly, there was no fever, no shortness of breath, or anything else than that stubborn little cough. As it turns out, she has what they call an "asthma event", which is a one time type of thing. Whatever bacteria has caused the cough is causing an asthma like reaction in her lungs and we need to take care of it before it does become serious. She did an amazingly wonderful job at the doctor's office. Maybe because she's been going to each and everyone of my appointments she has gotten used to seeing the checkup being done so often that she was very comfortable with everything the doctor needed to do.

We left the doctor's office to go get her prescriptions. We are so blessed and grateful that she hasn't needed much antibiotics or other medications throughout her short life, but it is still not fun at all when she does need them. We told her what a good job she had done with the doctor and encourage her to keep up the good attitude at the time of taking her medicine. Immediately after getting home I made her a little chart with squares for each time she needs to take medicine every day. I made it in colors and drew little flowers on it and then we explained that each time she took her medicine without a fuss she'd get a happy face in the square and at the end of the day she'd get as many "skittles" as happy faces she'd got.

Long story short, everything was going great until the first 2 mls of antibiotic were in my hand ready to give to her. She began crying, covering her mouth with both hands and screaming that she didn't want candy anyway. A couple hours later, two doses of antibiotics lost, serious discipline and correction sessions and a very early nap time so as to allow us all to calm down I was at a loss. We have to do this three times for the next five days... I don't want to bribe her but I don't want to fight her every single time. How do we do this? Any words of wisdom out there?

Wordless season...

These aren´t the best of pictures, but then again, who can resist Elena´s genuinely excited face in pointing at the baby!
...and then posing in her usual quirky way! BTW, 31 weeks along.

The Awaited Video

More on the marathon

We are still making our way home, so pictures and video will have to wait until we get there. However, I can tell you more about the whole thing. The weather was really unbelievably hot and humid, if you read the article you'll see it eventually led to a premature halting of the race. However, although my husband did have to be checked by the medical personnel and slow his pace down to a walk, he had already passed the mile marker where racers were stopped and managed to finish.

He took off to a very good paced start and by two hours into the race he had covered a bit over half the distance. At some point, the heat did take the best of him and forced him to stop for about 20 minutes in an ambulance while they made sure he could keep up the race. This was his first marathon ever, he had every right to give it up because the weather and humidity really took a toll on every one racing, however, he told the medical staff he'd go to the finish line even if he had to walk. I couldn't be prouder of him.

A patrol lady was kind enough to lend him her phone so he could tell us he was way behind his goal schedule so we wouldn't grow weary or concerned when we didn't see him come within the hour. As an answer to prayer, she stayed with him on her bicycle the remainder of the race and kept a watch over him. Derek, Grace and myself began to walk into the track hoping to find him and encourage him to the end. Derek and Grace could run, so they did, I paced myself in a very slow walk and as I did I prayed... I was only walking and the heat and humidity were so unbearable, I couldn't imagine what he was facing.

Parked at the 1/2 mile marker before the finish line I got a hold of the lady that was riding with Ben and when I realized that Derek and Grace were about to meet them and that they were still about 3 miles from the finish line I began my walk back to Heidi, Susi and the children. We waited and prayed.

I can't begin to describe to you what it felt like to see him turning that corner towards the finish line. The culmination of so many months of preparation, of such intense hours of his body's struggling against the elements, of so many prayers, all wrapped up in these last few minutes of adrenaline. There weren't many spectators at that point, but it wouldn't really have mattered because everyone around us disappeared... it was my man, my hero, running towards his goal. This was his moment and he was all that mattered. Even the girls forgot the acorns they had been piling and proudly stood next to me to cheer him. In a mixture of tears and laughter we ran with him for a few seconds and then got split by the "tunnel" he had to go through for the official timing. We met him at the end and we were all on the ground celebrating his victory.

It wasn't until this morning that we found out that the race had come to an official stop barely a few minutes after Ben crossed the 20 mile marker, that so many runners had to be rushed to the emergency room and so many others did drop out of the race. That only added to our pride in his finishing his very first marathon, strong. He wasn't necessarily stronger than he'd been that morning, but in his spirit, he is a much stronger man than he was a year ago, when he made the decision of running a marathon.

Pardon the rambling, I just wanted to write down what I could while the feelings were still fresh.

Marathons

**UPDATE 3:00 P.M.**

We are home (Derek and Heidi's)! It was long, it was hard, but he did it!!! I couldn't be prouder!!!

*********************

I guess I have to say I don't like marathons. Don't get me wrong, but it is just too nerve-wrecking to be in the dark as to where he is and what he is doing. This morning, he got up at 4 a.m. to begin getting ready. I got up about an hour later to sit with him for a while... that is while he walked around because he wasn't sitting. We took a couple pictures and off he went.

I know the race began at 7.30 a.m. it is now 9.45 a.m. and I have absolutely no clue as to where he is and how he is feeling. Nor do I have a way to find out. Unless I was following the route alongside him (which is obviously against the rules), I have only to sit here and wait.

In a few minutes we'll be off to church. We'll sit through worship and then we'll leave to catch him at the end of the marathon. We have no idea of whether there will be a place to park close enough to the finish line or not... so many unknowns... I don't like it.

I just pray he is doing well and keeping his pace and his strength...