"And the renovation begins right now"

Okay, it may not make much sense but maybe as it develops it will. Bear with me, please. For those who don´t know, we are trading downstairs apartments with Mom and Dad L so as to be on one whole side of the house. It is a first step of a long term remodel we want to ultimately do. Although we don´t know when step 2 will follow, we are pretty excited about getting on with step 1.


1. When you come into their apartment, this wall separates the living room/kitchen from the bedroom.
2. The doorway will be closed in and the wall to the left torn down.

3. Seen from the bedroom: the wall to be demolished to the right now. With the closing of the doorway we intend to somehow use the corner and closet space to make an office space with a built-in interpreting booth in the closet. It may not be the most practical solution but at least that would provide an immediate semi-enclosed space for me to work without completely removing me from family life and won´t require all the electrical re-wiring we would have had to do other wise. Plus, we have a 3 week deadline while Mom and Dad are visiting Andrea in TX.

4. With the wall gone it should open up a larger space for living room, dining area and kitchen.

5. As you can see, carpeting has already been removed. Their kitchen begins at the change of flooring, but we will install new laminate flooring throughout. Notice how lightly I use the term "we". I am mostly in charge of our current living space and the little people. All the exciting plans we had for these days did not materialize, had it not been for the girls´little outing to Aunt Dee´s we would all have ended up couped up with a feverish baby... *sigh* just going with the flow now.

Stay tuned for updates, that is the most exciting thing I can do regarding the project right now!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I am so ridiculously exhausted! For two and a half weeks I have had to wake up at night much more than usual and it is finally beginning to wear on me. We are not dealing with a tummy bug, thankfully, but my girls seem to take after me and gag at absolutely anything when they're sick, so they have thrown up even when their sickness doesn't call for it. So between throwing up, fevers and the attitudes and behavior that go with it, hurting tummys, noses, anythings, bathroom emergencies and the regular nursing wake up times of the night I am, finally, worn out.

Last night (or this morning, when it was still dark, I don't even know anymore) Adriana came to our bed. Although we've been trying to wean her of this, we made an exception this week that she's been sick. She had some milk, the baby woke up so I brought him in bed thinking I was tired enough not to even bother putting him back on his basket, he was going to stay in bed with me. As I was almost asleep I heard Adriana cough... and cough... and cough... aaaand... I had just so much time to lift the baby up and be the target of the projectile! I guess the good news was that whatever I didn't catch her pillow did, so after wiping baby, her, my face and ridding of my nightgown Ben went to sleep with Elena, we threw a big towel on our bed (just in case we missed something) and we went back to sleep at a time that by all reason we should have been waking up.

Even though we woke up at 9, Adriana is still cranky enough that I didn't manage to come downstairs until 10. My body aches, my head aches, my eyes are fighting to stay open and Elena & Ben jr. are ready to take on the world! Cookies and brownies for breakfast and who knows what will make it to the table for lunch and dinner today! arghhh...

New Job

Well, *sigh* there it is. I have signed. I accepted their offer, they´ve accepted mine. Our little family life is about to change dramatically and I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.

I know life is of seasons and this is just another season. I love interpreting, I know it will enjoyable. But I can´t deny that there is a very big part of me that doesn´t like to have home life dictated by a commitment made in exchange of a paycheck.

I will work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12:30 to 5:30 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from 7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. thus totaling 20 hours each week. Ben has made arrangements for his office hours to change, partly because of this, partly due to some re-structuring the church office is going through. At any rate, the re-arranging should work so that he is with the little ones most of the time I´m on the phone.

I won´t leave home. I will work here, but there is something that turns in my stomach every time the recruiters remind me that I am to ensure a quiet space. The lady I was speaking to yesterday, a mom herself, assured me that little ones "get it" and so mine should soon learn that "when the door is closed, they are not to interrupt Mom".... arghhh! I don´t like that! Now, I won´t be behind closed doors per se, but I do need to ensure the quiet space, so we will fashion an office corner with a closet space that we intend to make work as an "interpreting booth".

Thus the mixed emotions... Firstly, we are excited about the extra $$ and are already planning how to disburse it within our budget. Secondly, I can´t deny the excitement of the job in and of itself... what can I say, I do like to interpret. On the other hand, there are the sacrifices to be made at home.

We are fearfully walking through this, understanding that this is something we need to do and will serve as a tool to our family life as we learn to be more disciplined and intentional about our life. We´ll see how it goes and keep you posted!

Ponderings

If you have access to the internet, and if you are a part of some sort of social network you are flooded with all kinds of information these days. From politics to advertising, you have to pick and choose what to read and how you will react to what you read.

Where you focus your sight will determine what you will witness. Where you place your faith will determine what you will see happening for you. What you listen to the most will determine what you will end up believing. Do you wonder what you are witnessing?

I think about the people who lived in the times of Jesus and who witnessed His crucifixion. I think about that very moment when He hung on the cross, as His breathing slowed... What was going through those people´s minds? What were they seeing around them? I´m sure every single face in that setting witnessed to their heart. Did they know what they were witnessing?

I think not. I can almost see the words illustrated by faces as the events unfolded. Doubt... "I thought He was the Savior." Regret: "And I wasted my time following." Hopelessness: "Who is going to save us now?" Uncertainty: "What happens to us now?" Disbelief: "I can't believe this is happening!" Fear: "What does the future hold?" Despair: "Whom do we turn to now?"

As my mind's eye walks this event, I know that these must have only been a few of the questions flooding people's minds that day. As I know they're only a few of the questions that flood people's minds, today. They fill my mind sometimes too. And then I ask myself: "Do I know... Do I know what I am witnessing? Am I missing the miracle in the making?"

Those people may have missed the miracle because they kept looking around the Cross. Would their questions have been different if their focus had been on Him? Could they have seen the love? Could they have understood the miracle? Can WE?

"...Fixing our eyes in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2)

Update

I am in one of those seasons of realizing that the years have most definitely gone by. The things that I´ve considered new for a while aren´t appearing that new anymore.

Take my makeup bag, for example. It is very accurate to say that ALL the makeup I own fits in one of those half quart baggies they let you bring on the plane for toiletries. I only have one item of each category and they are ALL 5 years old. The reason I know this is because my previous makeup bag (which was a little bigger than the current one) was inside the purse that was stolen from me in Guatemala, the October before I got married. I never fully replaced the contents of the bag and that is how I know exactly how old my makeup is.

Probably in the same category fall my techniques for makeup application and hair styling, and my sense of style for that matter. I will inevitably buy the most neutral (aka boring) clothes, because I´m never quite sure what is really in style for my lifestyle (age and status). I will always wear my hair pulled back in the same style or a pony tail because I have absolutely no skill whatsoever for styling hair. And the last time I had to seriously do my makeup for a wedding I about panicked because not only did I not own whatever beauty products were needed for the task but I realized the techniques I´d use would be those I learned back about 15 years ago when I was hip and current. I think an update would be nice, just a little refresher, you know.

Life

It feels as though I´m finally beginning to catch up with life a little. Some areas of the house are beginning to look tidy. Of course, it always seem to go that the downstairs gets better or more work than the upstairs. Mostly because once we come downstairs for breakfast I hardly ever go back upstairs except for nap and bed times. And of course, as I catch up with the house, I must quickly begin to pack this downstairs for our move to the other apartment. As it is, old Susi's room has already become Mom's sowing/storage room.

I have managed to keep on working even when I slow down to nurse the baby. Usually it is hard for me to get up once I sit down because I'll inevitably grab a book, or my crochet and get so caught in in that I stay on the couch doing these things (when I don't fall asleep with him). Today was the hardest day, though. Ben has been doing an hour of activities at a nearby Christian School at the beginning of their day. They call it "Spirit Emphasis Week". Every morning he's been getting up earlier than usual and running off to do this, so we haven't seen him when we get up. So, today when he crossed the front door at around 10.30 a.m. with his bag in hand and the news that he was taking the morning off because he wasn't feeling well it took absolutely every single ounce of my will not to sit with him on the couch!

It is so hard not to sit with him and want to spend time with him when he is home! How does everybody else does it? Once Ben is here I have the strong tendency of ditching responsibilities and just sit with him. Not today, though. Today I succeeded! I kept on working while he sat to work on the computer and I have just sat down now while he took the girls upstairs for naps. Yay for me!!! My house is not in terrible disarray because I've managed to keep up!

My brain

This morning:

What day is it today? ...ohh, yeah, Monday. Ben is gone already. Adriana is calling. Oh my! She must be wet. "Coming, sweetie, go to the bathroom. I'll bring your underwear there." Do we have pull ups up here? Ok, baby sleeps. Change Adriana. I'll fold a basket of laundry while Elena and the baby awaken. Oooops, scrap that thought, the baby is up. "Good morning little sweet heart! You have the brightest smile. I love you". Yikes! His diaper leaked. Change the baby. I'll still try to fold while Elena wakes up. Ok, never mind. "Good morning sweetie! Here let me get you some clothes. Go brush your teeth and get dressed and we'll go downstairs." What can I wear... What's clean. I should throw a load of laundry before I go downstairs. I should REALLY fold at least one basket before I go downstairs. "We're going downstairs in a little bit. What? A little bit? A little bit is a few minutes? Well, not necessarily five, maybe... Don't worry Elena, I'll just get dressed and we'll go downstairs. Find your milk cups while I get ready". I'm out of stain remover, gotta write that down on the list. Hope I don't forget. "Come here little man, we're going downstairs. (louder) Girls? Got your cups? Let's go downstairs!" Man! You'd think I'd pick up a bit last night. This is messy. Where do I even start? Breakfast... COFFEE!! Hmm, Ben probably didn't eat anything, poor guy. "Yes, Adriana, I know you want your juice. Please don't whine, I'll get it to you in a minute. Yes, Elena, I know you want cereal for breakfast, I heard you the first time. What is it buddy? You're not gonna let me eat yet, are you? Let's go nurse you." I'm hungry. I hope he goes to sleep. He is so cute, sweet thing. Hopefully he'll fall asleep for a good while. "Are you done with your breakfast? You want more cereal? I'd like you to wait until I'm done feeding the baby, ok?" I should have left the cereal box on the table, Elena could have gotten it herself. Babies hands are cold, cover him. What will I eat, when will I eat... What time is it? I need to make phone calls. One to Continental. Where else was I supposed to call? I knew I should have written it down. Baby sleeps. Quiet, quiet, quiet... turn light off. "More cereal? sure. Sit on your bummy or your knees, please." Eggs, I'll have eggs. Uh oh, we'll need eggs, and bread, and milk. Grab pen, write it down NOW! What was the other thing? Arghh! Never mind. Grab Bible, pen, journal, coffee... what else? oh, yeah, napkin. Sit down. Breathe. Open Bible, open journal. Take a bite. Wow! I haven't written here in a very long time! "More juice? How do you ask?" Maybe I won't write today either. Where was I? Oh, yeah, today is the 7th, I'll start with a Proverb. Proverbs, Proverbs... 7. Hmmm... wisdom, "Wisdom builds its house" Does it say the same thing in English? Take a sip. "Adriana! Your pants are wet. You forgot to tell me you needed to go." Not really, I forgot to remind her. Take her pants off. Run upstairs to bring fresh pants... of course, the baby´s eyes are now open. Rush, rush, maybe I can still finish my food before he cries. Remember: bring the bathroom cleaning supplies downstairs with me. That downstairs bathroom is in serious need of cleaning. Oh, yeah, a tablecloth too. Change Adriana. Pick up baby. Make a phone call. Make another. Yet another call, we´ll have company for dinner. Clean toilet. Clean sink. Put cleaning supplies away and out of girls´reach. Arghh! Why didn´t I ask Mel how she´s tolerating chicken lately. Chicken! Get it out of the freezer. Crock pot? Oven? Call again. Lunch. What do I make for lunch. Quesadillas? We don´t have cheese. Any sandwich is out of the question, we don´t have bread. Man! What do I make? Open fridge. Scan, scan, scan... look at clock. It´s late! Eggs, how many eggs are there? Scramble. Tater tots. Put in oven...

I´ll drop it here... you get the point though. And I still wonder why I forget things or why I don´t make any sense at times. °sigh°

"Mi Casa es tu Casa"

"Make yourself at home"... How many times do we use phrases like those and really, really, truly, mean it? How many times have we used the phrase and actually lived it out? Well, we have. Six months ago we opened our door to my cousin. She and her baby left us on Thursday. We were sad to see her go, but happy to see her move on to the next season of her life.

Tomorrow she will be on her way to Guatemala, where she will wait for her husband to finish his assignment and be finally reunited as a family in July. She left us filled with memories, some hard, some fun, some really funny, some very sweet. We miss her already!

So, here is to her time with us, laugh with us if you may!

*sigh* =0)

Me: "Adriana, what is this? Why is this all wet?" (After picking up a rubber cup holder she was playing with).

A: "Oh, Is ok, Mommy, I just putting my water in it."

Me: "Water?! Where did you get water from?" (Alarmed at the thought of her "putting" water anywhere else in the house).

A: "Is ok, Mommy is just my water."

Me: "Sweetie, where did you get water from?"

A: "Is just my water from my mouth"

A grocery "shopping" story...

We normally buy our groceries with cash but when we realized how busy we are this week and how we were scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel, we decided to do a grocerys shopping trip tonight. I served dinner, we ate and I bundled the baby and left shortly debit card in hand.

Funny, when I only had Elena I wouldn´t even have dreamed of going out to the store by myself with the baby! Tonight, it was nice to be at the store with an infant who went on the carrier and happily smiled at me without interrupting my shopping at all.

An hour later I had completed my task. I was in the process of transferring my bags to the cart, very excited to have come one Dollar under my budget when the cashier informed me my card had been denied. Of course I had no other payment method, so very embarrassed I left my bags and the store in a hurry.

I ran to the van, baby-in-car-seat in arms and with every step my feelings began to change from embarrassment to anger. Oh I was so angry at... I didn't know who could possibly be the object of my anger! It couldn't be the cashier at the store... Ben? No, while he very certainly was subject to my anger (poor honey!), he was definitely not the object of it! He directed me to the ATM where I realized the problem: my card number had been compromised! I couldn't even check my balance!

How dare these bank people do this to a mother, standing in the cold desolate parking lot while her baby cries his little lungs out strapped to the car seat! I went back to the car, sat at the wheel, and was getting ready to cry (yeah, pathetic, I know). But then I stopped. Hold on a second, I thought to myself. "Ok, Lord, What could possibly be the purpose of my having gone through the wasted trip to the store?", I asked.

Well, I am still waiting for the answer to that one, but after asking the question and driving back home I realized that as upset as I was, I could be thankful that if I couldn't access my money, neither could anyone else. At the very least I could be thankful for this technology that would have allowed such a precaution and with that thought in mind I got home. But above all things I just had to remember that God does make everything work together for good. "Everything" means EVERYTHING, every single little thing, including this silly night of mine.

Our bed isn't ours

For the past 4 years we've had to share our bed with one (or all three) of our children. Though it lends itself sometimes for very difficult sleep for us, we love it. Yeah, sometimes we wake up to wet sheets due to a leaky diaper, sometimes we are kept awake longer than we'd wanted, but all in all it has been a wonderful part of being parents. I love it.

I love when Adriana comes to find her spot between Ben and me to snuggle as close as she can to one of us (usually me). Her little arm comes wraps around my neck and her little face is pressed against mine. That is how she goes back to sleep.

I love opening my eyes in the morning to the milky chunky little body curled up by my side. I love that the minute I move, he immediately stirs looks at me with his baby blue eyes and smiles the widest toothless-cheek-crunching-smile.

And when I am tempted to complain because a little someone is stealing my blankets or leaving me no room to move, all I have to do is remember that although Elena still comes to us occasionally, she is pretty much past that season. My little girl rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now and when she does, she usually takes her little self to the bathroom and back to bed. So I'll take it... as uncomfortable as it may get, I love snuggling with my babies!

More funnies from the girls

*Adriana is always asking for snacks when she's not supposed to and I keep telling her "no" time after time, after time. So she had already asked three or four times in the last hour when she came back in the kitchen: "Mooomy, I want tandy!", frustrated, I turned to look at her and said "Adriana, sweetie..." but before I could go on she said: "Momy, be happy. ok?" ...and I really didn't know what to say, I just had to laugh and say "dinner will be ready soon".

It was bed time and I had given Elena instructions to go take her clothes off to prepare for bed. She was walking and talking around, obviously delaying her obedience. Ben finally made her note this and asked her to be quicker to obey. "But I want to blow pretend bubbles!" came her response as she dragged her feet towards her bedroom and was beginning to cry. In an attempt to make a point to her, Ben said to her: "Elena, I want to go walk on the moon..." but before he could even try to go on and make his point she said: "Daddy, I want to go walk in the moon with you" and kept going on "I will be so sad if you go without me!", Ben and I just looked at each other and laughed...

Chuckling

As we walked the couple aisles of tanks filled with all sorts of fascinating sea creatures we could hear all sorts of exclamations coming from little voices thrilled at the discoveries.

We kept hearing Bannon say: "Hey, Jake, look at this fish I found" or "Aunt Keila, I need someone to show something" and then he'd excitedly run back to proudly show his discovery.

"Ooohs" and "ahhhs" kept coming from every direction of the store. Rightly so, these tiny little creatures were simply fascinating reminders of God's careful design. Amazing colors, shapes, and even temperaments (I think fish have them too) were at display. Of course, we found Nemo, Dori AND Nemo's dad, saw a "bubble bus" (one of those little water tank decorations that let a big bubble out every few seconds), a sting ray, live rocks and corals (which I had never seen before), and even a rope fish (yes, a fish a few inches long that had the texture of a rope!).

But the real point of this story, what made Be and I laugh was that in the excitement of the moment, the girls, especially Abby and Elena, kept going back and forth from tanks showing each other their findings and exchanging exclamations and opinions about what they saw. Their exclamations began to blend as they tried to imitate each other and this is what we began to hear:

Elena: "Oh my holy! Abby come look at this!"
Abby: "molly gooness, Elena!"

and every possible combination of the exclamations they kept making! Silly, but worth recording for future memories!

Life these past few days

Well, our plans this weekend were to attend a Valentine´s Day party and a Birthday party or two in addition to the regular weekend activities. For a season now I have really been craving some grown up socializing just for fun. It goes without saying that life with little ones leaves one needing time to just sit among adults, even if I can´t bring much to the conversation (or the table, for that matter) because I still haven´t gotten a hold of life. So I was very excitedly looking forward to these opportunities to share with loved ones, maybe interesting topics, maybe a few laughs, just a good time.

My weekend ended up looking quite differently from the refreshing time I´d envisioned. I had longer nights that usual with Adriana sick. Not only could I not make it to the parties I was looking forward to but not making it to church either! Adriana has been extremely testing because she probably has been feeling so poorly and it has made staying at home much more tiring and demanding than usual.

My heart is in a good place though, I know these days will pass sooner than later and there will always be parties to be attended and fun to be had. Now I only need a bit more patience to help my little girl deal with getting better!

The Heart of the Matter

As the girls are growing and continue to present challenges on a daily basis we are faced with choices. How to correct them, what to correct them for, when to do it, etc. We so much want to honor the Lord with our discipline and lead them towards God's mercy. So a couple weeks ago, when we came to wake them up from naps to find that they hadn't slept at all but instead, ever so quietly, threw every single item of clothing on the floor. Not only that, but they managed to climb on their dresser and get every possible cream, rub, lotion, etc. and smear it on their hair. It was quite a funny scene but we couldn't treat it as funny at the moment, we needed to be quick to correct. When we wanted to do it, though, where did we start? They did so many things they weren't supposed to do:

* They got out of bed
* They were playing instead of sleeping
* They climbed on the dresser
* They took the lotions and creams (which included anti-itch, and antibiotic ointments, and petroleum jelly!)
* They took all the clothes and messed the morning's worth of work, etc.

We felt full of remarks and comments that we felt compelled to explain to them. Things such as how much these things cost, how much effort Mom put in folding all the clothes nicely, how dangerous it was to put stuff on their faces and hair threatened to spill out of these concerned parents who, by the way, decided to tackle this together to stay accountable and avoid a major temper meltdown! Yet any course of action we'd suggest would be received with the question "why".

No matter what we said, they couldn't comprehend the severity of what they had done. So after a lot of head scratching and quick little discussions over little heads screaming about the scrubbing of hair we asked each other: what is the bottom line? The bottom line was that they disobeyed, take your pick as to what color, shape or intensity, they disobeyed and that was what we needed to address. We knew that not only would they understand that but it would also keep us objective.

Yes, this was a very simple response to a very simple dilemma. Probably most of you, seasoned moms have figured this one out already, but to us, it was a revelation! It was one of those moments where we could have heard an angelic choir of voices chime in as we concluded to address the obedience issue and forget how stressed, disappointed and even angry we felt.

So I know I've been out of touch here, but at least life has been dishing us some good lessons lately!

Every once in a while...

...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple,
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food, and wonderful company

that rare chance was tonight... I am very, very grateful for such awesome friends!

Horrible

My stomach turned at the sight of this. My tears flowed and I just wanted to hold my babies. We need to pray!

Little People...

While Elena helped me change little Ben's diaper:

E : "Mami, when I was little I don't have one of those" pointing at the open diaper.
Me: "No, sweetie, little girls and little boys are different"
E: "Yes! (very enthusiastically) Mami, when I get bigger I will have a big bommy like yours!!!"

Ben is raising faithful Dolphin fans, as expected. Elena has been duly drilled and if you ask the question "Who is your favorite quarterback?" She'll say her own version of "Chad Pennington". So I told Ben to show her a picture of the guy to give her a face to think of. He did and showed her he was wearing number 10 on his shirt. She was very excited and interested so he proceeded to show her Rony Brown:

Ben: "Elena, what's the most innovative offensive scheme in the National Football League this year?"
E: "hmmm... wi-cat!"
Ben: Showing her Rony Brown's picture: "Look Elena, this is Ronny Brown, he runs the wild cat"
E: "Daddy, how old is he?"
Ben: "How old is he? I don't know, he's a little younger than daddy"
E: "No Daddy, how old is he in his shirt"

Adriana has been in the habit of leaving the room whenever she is told not to do something. She did it so inconspicuously and nonchalantly that we didn't catch on until Ben was in the "computer room" and she passed him to go to the bottom of the stairs. When he realized she'd been there for a couple minutes he said:

B: "Adriana, what are you doing sweetie? You know you're not supposed to be at the bottom of the stairs."
A: "Nothing, Daddy! I just picking my nose!"

Now that we know what she does, after she'll disappear when she's been asked not to do something (usually when I am nursing and can't follow her right away):

Me: "Adriana, come in here please"
A: "I coming, Mama"
Me: "Are you disobeying?"
A: "I not disbeying, Mama, I just picking my nose!"

Life goes on

Of course, on the day my mom left:

*I had an emergency dentist appointment to deal with an infection. That turned out to be a more difficult job than expected and let's just say that my dentist will fight to save the piece, but I need a root canal do over among other things. You'd think I never brush my teeth! Crazy! So I am in pain because until he finishes the work and I have been on an antibiotic for a few days it won't get better.

*Because it was an emergency appointment, we couldn't make any baby sitting arrangements for our over tired girls who had woken up at 4 a.m. that morning. Ben had a really tough time with a crying baby who would just not settle. He had to take them for a car ride so the girls could watch a movie and the baby settle with the ride. That worked up until coming back to the dentist's as the baby woke up with the stopping of the car.

*Turns out that our over tired girls and baby were also acting up because they weren't feeling well. As of yesterday we are also nursing colds.

*But we are taking it moment by moment and trying to keep up without being overwhelmed trusting that the grace will be available to deal with everything that comes our way.

* That being said, I was tagged, so here it goes:


My fourth folder was: Craiglist. My fourth picture in the folder was this one. Explanation: I wanted to sell Elena's high chair and a couple other items and tried my hand at craiglist. There, now I tag: Becky, Darlene, Danica, and Brietta.

(Post the fourth picture on the fourth folder of your pictures and explain! oh yeah, and tag 4 more people).

Well

The night was long. We sat together mostly in silence because every attempt at talking would require our looking at each other and that would only to show the other one´s tears quietly running down our cheeks. Maybe if we didn´t go to sleep the time to drive to the airport wouldn´t come. Silly, I know. So the time came. At 4:00 a.m. today we woke up and all five of us drove Pita to the airport. This time I couldn´t even wait to see her past security to wave. I squeezed her as tight as I could and with tears streaming down my face we turned back to leave. How I will miss her, how I already do!

Getting ready to say good by

**Edit**
Little bit of news: Susi has been uncertain of the time she´d need to stay here after the baby´s birth because her residency papers were ridiculously delayed. The best hope we had was April for an interview and then another wait for the actual green card to be issued and even that was a very stretchy maybe according to the Immigration Officer we talked to in December. Out of the blue, today we got a phone call from her attorney informing us that they received an email to notify them that her card has been approved WITHOUT an interview!!! As soon as that card gets here she is a free woman! She can leave the country, she can go make her home back in North Carolina, she can go anywhere she wants and does not have to look at being confined to our little guest room for unending months! Thank you Lord!

************************************************************************************

Before we knew it, it's my mom's turn to say good by. I have tons of thoughts and tons of pictures to share but my time at a computer is so limited that I haven´t had time to upload anything let alone type. I don´t foresee my time getting freer with my mom gone, so I appreciate your patience as I now try my hand "for real" at being the Mommy of three. So far I feel I´ve been cheating my way through it as my mom has always been around to be the extra set of arms. So I´ll let you know what life is like in about a week. Don´t be surprised if you see even less of me here...

Talk to all soon!

What can be sweeter?

Another Year

As we wave away 2008 and prepare to welcome 2009 I have so much in my mind and in my heart. I don't really know where to begin or how much to share as life this year has felt so overwhelming. I feel uncertain about so many things... be it past decisions that at the time seemed to come out of obedience and are yielding results we never imagined we'd have to face or future decisions that we are trying to make wisely.

We left 2007 grieving a little life lost to a miscarriage, facing a scary and unexpected turn of a business venture and praying that 2008 would bring better news. Today we are facing much more uncertainty than we were a year ago and though in many ways 2008 brought much better news and bore blessings we can't even begin to count, it did leave us recovering from quite a few unexpected blows.

I am so thankful for the hand of the Lord that has carried us through thick and thin. He continues to be the only constant in our life with His mercy, steadfastness and love. I definitely pray that 2009 brings awaited resolution and relief of situations, clarity and wisdom for decisions, and maybe even a little respite from all the squeezing and stretching, but if it doesn't at least I know I will always have His grace, His comfort, His shelter, His forgiveness, and His love... I will always have Him, that is all I want to keep in mind.

Welcome one, welcome all

Our house has reached its full temporary potential. The last two guests scheduled for arrival happened to arrive on the same day. My cousin had the tiniest little baby (6.2 lbs) on Sunday at about 2:00 p.m., only 5 hours after his father joined the laboring Mom at the hospital!

All along, from the midwives to all of us were fearing Jorge was coming too early and he'd have to leave before the baby's birth. Talk about God's control over things!

At any rate, here we are, two little babies, two little girls and six adults, all in our house. An American-Guatemalan-Puerto Rican mix!

A few pics.:

Luis André Cintrón
Dec. 28/08
6.2 lbs -- 19"

He is a perfect mix of his parents!

Newest cousins... My little Ben doesn't look that little next to him!

So much going on

Adriana LOVES to "tiss the baby"

My baby boyEnjoying the snow after the play, even when it was about 9:00 p.m.

All Adriana would do: jump into a mound of snow.

I´m afraid there is just so much activity going on I haven´t caught a breath long enough to sit and write properly. There has been a lot on my mind but it hasn´t made it to this blog because I am still adjusting to life with three little ones and a full house for the Holidays. So I´ll just let some pictures fill in while my mind (and life!) are more in order!

Survived!

We survived! The blackout, storm, whatever you want to call it. It was quite the adventure to spend one night "power-less" at home (well, two if you count Thursday night, when the power went out). Saturday morning we had been invited to breakfast to our friends' who did have power and heat (and cook) with propane. So we opened our eyes, rolled out of bed, grabbed our toothbrushes and packed up the car to go over. Let me just say, we got there for breakfast and were quickly talked into staying for a few hours while the men tried to lug generators and the such. A few hours turned into spending the night!

We were very graciously hosted, the five members of my little family plus my mom, plus my cousin, plus my cousin's mom who happened to arrive in town that very same day!

I learned so much about community as so many did so much for each other. From men who showed up to our property to cut damaged trees, to couples out in the city who'd call and offer to bring whatever was needed, to friends showing up for showers at friends' homes, people crashing at other people's homes. In the midst of such complicated times, we were all there for each other, how wonderful.

Sunday morning services were carried with no sound equipment, all bundled up with an extra layer or two, and a few empty chairs. That same morning, trucks came in from some obscure place in Michigan and I mean A LOT of trucks and some amazing people gave up their Sunday morning to come be our heroes and restore our power.

The landscape was breathtaking, the company so much fun, the lessons invaluable, the weekend was unforgettable!!!

Lovely

Little Ben´s Birth (I apologize... it is really long)

The 40th week of my pregnancy I began having the usual "bouts" of contractions heralding my baby´s arrival. However I had determined not to pay attention to them and so I did. Except for Ben, whom I told occasionally about them, nobody knew and I managed to ignore even the painful ones. If there were any contractions too hard to ignore, I´d try to practice relaxing and reminding myself that my body was just getting ready to give "passage" to this new life so I could hold and admire it.

Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church I actually considered the possibility that we might not make it to church but we did and still the remainder of the day went on.

Monday at 4:00 a.m. a strong contraction woke me up. Still determined to keep with my plan, I went back to sleep. The next contraction woke me up, I looked at the clock: 4:06, back to sleep again and back up with the next. I went back to sleep again, and again and by about 4.45 recognized a pattern but still decided to keep resting. When by 5:00 things hadn´t changed I woke Ben up and invited him to join me in the living room to see where things were heading.

Once downstairs I had some juice and we sat to watch "Dinner Impossible" and when the show was over and nothing had stopped we decided to watch another taped show (we couldn´t think of anything else to do at that point!). "Chuck" was on and I can´t really tell you much about it because contractions were beginning to get more intense. We finished watching the show (upon my request, I didn´t want to get to the hospital sooner than necessary) and then I called the midwife. She was very kind and attentive to my wishes to not go in too soon, but dropping the phone during a contraction was probably sign enough that I at least needed to begin getting ready to leave. She told Ben this when he picked up the phone and we agreed that we´d be leaving in about an hour.

By then it was already 6.45 (give or take) so we went upstairs, woke the girls up and explained we were heading to the hospital because our baby was coming. Maria came over to help get them ready and then bring them to the hospital with my cousin, Susi.

We left with both Moms in Mom L´s car. I asked Ben to take his time and so we did. Contractions were steady and strong but I still was in no hurry. I had chosen to remain calm and at least in this first few hours I could still handle to do it.

On our way to the hospital we realized that our birth plan (which we decided to write this time due to the change in practitioners and hospital) had been left in our van. We called Susi and asked her to bring it in right away upon their arrival to the hospital. They arrived a while after we did and, to my surprise, not only Susi came in with the papers, but they allowed them all to come in. I can´t tell you what a happy moment it was to see my girls right there. I must say it was a blessing to know them so close to me and so well taken care of. Just the thought of being able to see them at any point brought so much peace and joy to my heart. After Elena´s quick question of "Why aren´t you in the bed, Mami?" and a few blown kisses they were taken out to the waiting area and I continued my labor.

Rebbeca, our midwife, was great. She honored (and defended) my every wish. Since my Strep B screening came back negative, I declined the IV. In spite of being in the hospital, not one single nurse or resident checked me and though some monitoring was required, it was almost a joke because I kept moving to my comfort and I ultimately took it off.

The room with the tub was already taken, so I didn´t have the tub to labor in. Also, the hospital was so busy that day I literally caught the last available LD&R room, which also happened to have the shower head broken! But it was still functional and I wasn´t going to lose my focus over circumstantial things, so I chose to ignore those details and stick to my plan. We talked and laughed in between contractions and during contractions I´d "get to work". My natural reaction to contractions is to squat, so I´d squat and try to focus my thoughts and my strength in "letting my body do the work".

Never once did I allow myself to complain about the pain but instead I´d force myself to try and focus on my womb and the work it was doing in bringing my baby out. I tried to "think open" and, in Ina May Gaskin´s words, tried to visualize my contractions as energy waves or rushes bringing my baby closer to me; visualize my baby slowly and smoothly descending; and make sure my jaw and throat were relaxed.

By about 9.30 I got out of the shower and let Rebbeca check me. I was 8+ cm and my waters were leaking. Now, I wanted to wait for them to break spontaneously but, what can I say, I "cheated" and let her finish breaking them. In the end, this proved to be a good idea because we could see there was meconium in the waters and that gave me some time to prepare for the cord to be cut much sooner than I had wanted and the neonatologist to whisk my baby off to make sure there would be no aspiration.

Upon breaking the waters, of course the baby´s descent began and contractions were even stronger. I was amazed at being able to recognize that the baby´s head was coming down and at the risk of appearing like a lunatic (I´m sure I did look like a lunatic in hindsight, but hey, a girl´s gotta do what a girl´s gotta do!), I´ll confess I did tell the baby "I love you, baby, come down, come down" in the midst of contractions, while squatting on the bed and holding on to the bar.

The rest periods in between contractions were truly that for I felt so content and relaxed that I knew I could very well snooze. Therefore, I decided to stay in the bed so I could lay back, stretch my legs and almost go to sleep, if not for the company and conversation that were so enjoyable. I had never felt the "urge to push" and informed my midwife that I really wanted to get to that point this time.

As I said earlier, my natural reaction to contractions is to squat, so Rebbeca suggested rolling over my left side during the following contraction just to see if a change in position would change anything. Well, it did... in that same contraction I let them know as calmly as I could: "ok, I´m going to push now." The statement was followed by the infamous "ring of fire" and while I thought I had just pushed the head out, I tried to lift my head to see and instead of a head I saw a baby on the bed! After a few seconds I did have to ask: "What did we have?!" though my husband´s joyful tears and indescribable expresion led me to think we´ve had a boy! After a quick clean up, the girls came in to meet their little brother. None of us could possibly imagine life without him now!

Pensamientos sobre el trabajo de parto

Como todos los que se mantienen al tanto de mi vida sabrán, durante este embarazo leí, y leí, y leí todo lo que pude respecto al trabajo de parto. Estaba determinada a hacer todo lo que estuviera en mi poder para hacerlo lo más placentero posible. A lo largo de mi lectura constantemente me intrigó leer de todas las mujeres que confían en todo tipo de cosas que reconocen como poderosas en sus propias vidas y salen de sus experiencias de parto con un nuevo sentido de fuerza y felices. Mi pregunta era, ¿por qué ellas, con conocimiento humano y fallido tienen experiencias de parto tan positivas y nosotras, con la sabiduría infinita de nuestro Padre y el poder del Espíritu Santo de nuestra parte no las tenemos?

Quisiera poder decir que encontré "la respuesta" a esta cuestionante. No fue así, al menos no encontré la fórmula mágica que toda mujer en el mundo puede aplicar. Pero sí encontré una respuesta para mí. Nunca sugeriría que toda mujer debiera hacer las cosas de tal o cual forma. Creo firmemente que Dios nos hizo únicas y en esa individualidad debemos encontrar lo que Él espera de nosotras para hacer que las situaciones nos beneficien al máximo, no solamente al momento de dar a luz sino en todo aspecto de la vida. Después de todo, si Él hubiera querido que todas fuéramos iguales, nos habría hecho idénticas para empezar.

Esto fue lo que concluí:

Lo primero que encontré en común en todo lo que leí fue una actitud positiva, dadivosa y amorosa durante el trabajo de parto. Ese mensaje era contrario a todo lo que había escuchado antes y tenía perfecto sentido... después de todo, es un principio Bíblico, hay mucha más bendición en dar que en recibir.

Lo segundo fue relacionado a cómo lidiar con las contracciones. A mí nunca se me había ocurrido pensar en ellas como una fuente de fuerza que me estaba acercando a mi bebé. Siempre las consideré un dolor del que me quería deshacer y que sólo estaba sufriéndolo mientras venía el bebé.

Lo tercero fue en cuanto a enfoque, en no enfocarme en cuánto tiempo llevo, cuánto tiempo me falta, cuántas contracciones más, sino en tomar cada contracción como un sólo minuto de mi vida que y cuando ya pasó sencillamente disfrutar el período de descanso sin anticipar ni preocuparme por la próxima ola de dolor.

Así que me armé con una lista de todos los himnos y cantos de alabanza que le comunicaran fuerza, rendición y entrega a mi espíritu y me acostaba a dormir todas las noches con esa música de fondo durante las últimas semanas. Me propuse no ponerle atención a las contracciones hasta no saber que eran consistentes, intensas y regulares por lo menos por una hora. Finalmente, aunque no necesariamente ansiaba enfrentar el proceso, también me propuse acoger el trabajo de parto y trabajar con él tanto como me fuera posible.

Esos son algunos de mis pensamientos y fueron los pensamientos con que llegué al trabajo de parto. La historia del parto en sí, para quienes estén interesados, vendrá más adelante.

About Birth

As it is well known by all who keep up with my little life, I read, and read, and read everything I could during this pregnancy. I was determined to do everything in my power to make it as pleasant as could be. Through my reading I was constantly puzzled by all those women who rely on all kinds of things they recognize as powerful in their lives and came out of their birthing experiences empowered and happy. Why would they, with human and failing knowledge, have such good birthing experiences and we, with the infinite wisdom of our Father and the power of the Holy Spirit to tap into, don't?

I wish I could say I found "the answer" to this. I didn't, not the one-fits-all answer anyway. I did find an answer for myself though. I would never suggest that everyone should do things this or that way. I believe that in our God given uniqueness we must find what God expects from us to make situations work for the best, not only in labor and delivery but in every aspect of life. After all, if He'd wanted for us all to be the same, He would have made us the same to begin with.

Having said that, this were my findings:

The first common thread I found in all the reading I did was a positive, giving and loving attitude during labor. That message was contrary to all that I've heard before, and it made sense... after all, it is a Biblical principle, there is much more blessing in giving than receiving.

The second thing was in the terms of how to treat the contractions. I never thought of thinking about them as a sort of strength that was bringing my baby closer. I always thought of them as this pain I wanted to get rid of and was just suffering through.

The third thing was still in terms of focus. Not to focus on how much longer, how much time, how many contractions, but to take each contraction as one single minute of my life that was over when it was over and then simply enjoy the period of rest not even anticipating the next wave of pain.

So, I armed myself with a list of all the hymns and worship songs that spoke surrender, and strength to my spirit and I went to bed to those songs every night for the last few weeks. I purposed myself not to pay attention to the contractions until they had been consistent, intense and regular for at least one hour. Finally, even though I wasn´t necessarily looking forward to the whole process, I also purposed myself to embrace it and work with it as much as I could.

Those are some of my thoughts and were the thoughts that took me into labor. The birth story itself, for those interested, will come in a future post.

Blurry

These first few days at home with our baby boy have been blurry. Not because of sleepless nights due to night feedings but because the cold I caught a little over a week before going into labor was already becoming something else when I did go into labor. Upon getting back home from the hospital, the headache got worse and the pressure and congestion kept increasing in my head. At any rate, this morning I couldn't even move without feeling as though my eyes were going to pop out! So I had to go to the doctor's today and had to go on antibiotics to treat a sinusitis and rhinintis. I can tell you though:

:: We are so blessed with our little man. He is so perfect and awesome. I just met him and now my time is consumed with discovering him... discovering who he is, how he is... it is so fascinating to have a new little person to love.

:: We are also extremely blessed and grateful for how the girls have reacted to him.

:: Elena is such a big sister and wants to hold him constantly. She is so proud of him and when asked his name she proudly exclaims: "BEN!". When we brought him from the hospital she said: "Mami, is he going to stay with us for a while?" and when I said "Sweetie, he is staying with us forever" her face lit up with the widest smile I have ever seen.

:: Adriana has reacted beautifully to having a little brother. She constantly touches his face, ever so tenderly, and kisses him. Today when we were getting back from my doctor's appt. she asked immediately where the baby was. Upon realizing he was on the car seat, she began taking the blankets off him and she must have heard something because she immediately exclaimed: "Mami, the baby went kinkies (stinkies) you have to change his diaper!" then she ran off. I had just sat at the table when she began bringing me, one by one, every single thing she thought I needed to do the task!

And so, we are loving and enjoying this season even with all the challenges we've encountered around it. Lord knows I'll treasure these days with all my heart!

The Little Man

Benjamin Paul Levendusky Jr.

More pics and details coming up, as soon as we get a little bit more settled!

40 weeks

I've reached the "magic due date". Allegedly I am turning 40 weeks pregnant today and there are very slim signs of a baby making the awaited appearance. I am ok, though. Yes, a little uncomfortable, yes a little bored since there is really so little to do when you're on a tight budget and it is so cold out and you have a cold yourself but I'm ok.

These are challenging times, indeed, in many more ways than one... from swinging moods to keep in check to realizing that life doesn't go on hold to wait for me to have a baby but that I still need to continue to keep this home in the midst of the waiting it has proven to be quite challenging. Granted, a lot of the physical tasks of the home keeping have gone to my mom, who gladly does it even better than me. But none of that takes away the fact that this is my kingdom and I am the one who needs to keep it. So I am busy making provisions for little girls to be entertained when I'd rather be sleeping, making meal plans that would stretch our provision even further than it is already, and then deciding what can occupy myself with that is not going to tire me out and still rest enough to allow for my body to fully recover from this cold and prepare for labor.

In becoming a mom, I am not spared the privileges and responsibilities of being a wife, a mom to two other little girls, a hostess, a child of God and in the whirlwind of emotions that hormones can foster I have the resources to find it to be well with my soul... all I need is to tap into them. Stay tuned for news!

39 weeks

This (above) is 39 weeks pregnant with this baby. Below is 39 weeks with Adriana... what do you think, bigger? lower? I'm an awful judge myself, b/c every time I feel bigger than the last.

I'm being watched...

I wish I could say I'm being watched "as a flower about to bloom" yet I find it more to be "as a bomb about to explode." It feels as though what I wished to be a peaceful or inspiring process is intense and sensitive instead. I'm on the 39th week and finding that even when I think I am somewhat able to keep a quiet and pleasant attitude that seems to be the farthest thing from reality. I come across as short tempered, and snappy regardless of what I consider my greatest efforts. Just another reminder of how I can't do life without Him.

Circumstances aren't really what we were hoping or even expecting for this season and I have found myself complaining more than I'd like to be. In the middle of this most joyous time of life temptation to focus on everything else but the joy is so great I need to constantly remind myself where my source is and where my confidence should be.

At the same time I find that as much as I anticipate meeting this new little person, holding them in my arms and revel in the newness of life I also want to enjoy this waiting season because time goes so fast, children grow too quickly and these seasons are over far too soon to my liking. So here I am, trying to sort through emotions, situations and circumstances to find my portion, my peace and my joy... it is being definitely more challenging than I wanted or expected!

While we wait...

A lot of this is going on around here (not exactly proud of how much TV we're watching but I can't deny I really enjoy both girls wanting to constantly snuggle with their currently-feeling-like-a-beached-whale-mother!) :

...and a little bit of this (I don't think I need to reveal the author of the artwork...) :

38 weeks

I can't believe how close we are to getting to know this new little person... in some ways I can't wait: I can't wait to find out if we're having a boy or a girl, I can't wait to hold them and snuggle with them, I can't wait to see the girls excited about the new sibling. At the same time, I don't want to see this time go, I am trying (really trying) to savor moments with the girls as I know for a while I'll have to be a bit more consumed with the little person.

I say trying because I'm running so low in energy. I simply can't believe how slow every movement feels and how exhausted I get after one simple task. Staying active has proved to be quite the effort lately. So very, very slowly I'm moving towards the end of this pregnancy, fighting the crankiness that comes with it and trying to stay busy, at least keep my mind busy.

What's in a name... This time around we decided to keep to ourselves the name options we were to consider and was it a wise decision. We have gone back and forth SO much this time that it is unbelievable. Boy or Girl? What do you think?

So far...

:: My Mom is here, half full of energy to work, half already exhausted by little girls who want to spend every single moment of every 24 hours with her.

:: Mom L is back and though she has to begin work tomorrow it is relieving to know her home (sorry Andrea, I know you must be missing her awfully!!!)

:: Laundry is about one load to be caught up and that includes one load of every neutral baby onesie, outfit, blanket, plus the car seat cover and moses basket sheets. Tomorrow, the little makeshift dresser will be stocked up with said baby clothes and the basket will be placed next to our bed so the girls begin to get used to having it there.

:: An exhaustive grocery shopping trip took place today so as to try and cover major needs for the event of an early arrival... I am not expecting it to happen, but it doesn't hurt to be ready.

:: Little diapers (disposables, no budget at this time to begin the cloth experiment) are now awaiting a sweet little person to start filling them up, all thanks to Aunt Bean!!!

:: Lists are being made to make sure nothing is forgotten these next few upcoming events.

:: I am 37 weeks pregnant!

Here we are

I can´t tell you how many times I have attempted to write here only to hit a block. I don´t know what to say... partly because I am so absent minded, partly because I´m so emotionally loaded I don´t even seem to know where my triggers are.

What I can say is that at least my down times are spent sitting on the couch with little girls climbing all over me which, except for the times when they climb on my belly, I thoroughly enjoy.

Other than that, a few shopping trips here and there to begin preparing what I need to pack for the hospital, going through newborn clothes and washing them, setting up the moses basket next to my bed so the girls can familiarize with it and not climb on it once there is a new little person in it, and wait.

I am setting my mind to go past my due date like the last time, however, everyone seems to have a hard time believing that my due date is not until Nov. 22. So I am slowly getting ready just in case these contraction spells that have already begun are a little bit more than just warming up.

With that, I will go... before my mind wanderings take me down too much senseless thoughtless ramblings...

36 Weeks

I am on the 36th week of this pregnancy. I am carrying this baby so low that hardly anyone believes me when I tell them I still have 4 weeks to go (at least until my estimated due date). But here we are, believing that at least I will stay pregnant until Saturday that my mom comes home (coincidentally, Mom L. will be back that weekend too). Based on my previous pregnancies, I am not expecting to go before my due date, but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared just in case this would be an early arrival.

So in getting ready I have tons of things in my mind. Lists of things I'd like to accomplish before the baby comes, how I want to approach Holiday shopping when I have no budget for it right now (our budget was cleaned out by an unexpected car repair), how I want to foresee entertainment for the girls while we're in the hospital (they will at least visit one day and it will probably be for a few hours, so the better prepared we are the better), etc. All of this while being as absent minded as ever! I keep forgetting what I went into rooms for, leaving food that I intended to reheat (and eat) in the microwave until the next day, and as soon as I am full of energy and feel as though I will conquer the world, I realize how unrealistic that attempt was or a nerve on my leg will get pinched and I won't be able to move for the next while.

Then there is the overall preparation to receive this next little person and make the necessary adjustments as our family grows and hosts another little family at the same time.

I've heard people say that the hardest transition is from one to two babies, others claim that it is from two to three because at this point there are more children than adults in the clan. Going from one to two proved to be quite challenging for us, so I wonder... how do we handle this one? Any advice, seasoned Moms out there?

My Girls

::Adriana gave us quite the scare this week when she fell off the bed. At first she cried right away, but then she just stayed there, on the floor, white as a ghost, little eyes closed. I woke her up and she was so limb and weak and all she wanted to do was sleep, so we kept her up all the way to the ER. You will never know how long that ride felt! Thank God, by the time the doctor made his way to check on her she was happily blowing bubbles, had recovered her color and was willing to move around like her normal little self.

But that's our Adriana, fearless... she climbs on anything and everything she can. Her favorite places in the world are Daddy's shoulders and Mami's side. She loves sleeping and cuddling with us and she'd do it all the time if we'd only let her! She's my little "melancholic"... loves to sing, loves to dance, has the hardest time coping with changes or things not going her way, so she seems to be sad most of the time. When she is in a good mood, though, she is the sweetest, most loving, and affectionate little person in the world. She bestows the tightest squeezes and juiciest kisses there can be. And she is going to be a big sister soon...

:: Elena, makes us laugh and life with her is very fun. Just on Sunday she excitedly came to us saying: "Daddy, Mami, listen... I am E - le - na... see!!! I am not 'nena' anymore! I can say E-le-na!!" She was so thrilled at her accomplishment. She is very thorough in the things she enjoys like puzzles, drawing letters, and coloring. All of a sudden she is so grown and is such a great little helper. I realize I have to remind myself to catch up with her maturity in some areas and her increasing ability to be helpful as well. She is also far more aware of so many things that we can imagine. A couple days ago she said to me: "Mami, when you push the baby out, maybe you will cry a little and I will say 'oh, it's ok, Mami' and rub your back, then we will hold your baby and she will cry and I will say 'oh, it's ok, sweetie, your Mama is here'" Now, we have been saying things here and there in an attempt to prepare them both for the new arrival, but never did I expect for her to nail it so right on and involve herself in the actual process of the baby's birth!

She is my night owl, understands far more Spanish than she leads to believe and has her daddy's sweet tooth!

I am so blessed by my two girls, even when their ages and stages pose the challenges they do. They are the sweetest, most loving, most beautiful little girls and can't wait to meet this third little person. I do get scared, at times, when I realize the work, sacrifices and challenges ahead, but when I weigh them in light of the joy they bring I know it will all be alright!

For fun

Book Meme

I'd never heard of this before but I, too, got tagged so here it goes:

From Spiritual Midwifery, Ina May Gaskin, p.56

"As the moments ticked by and the ambulance got closer and closer, we had a sterile birth pack up there, the room changed, and all the visitors were gone. All of a sudden, just before the ambulance came, it all settled down. It felt like turbulence turning into a peaceful tool. The ambulance pulled right around to the back room, and the midwives helped the laboring mother right into the bedroom."

Instructions:

Grab the nearest book.

Open to page 56.

Find the fifth sentence.

Post the text of the next two to five sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.

Don't dig for the coolest book, or most intellectual book, or your favorite book--pick the closest book.

Tag five more people.

I tag: Brietta, Melanie, Darlene, Danica (only if you find a couple minutes before the new baby arrives!), and Becky

A shout out!

We are getting ready for the season ahead of us and my list of upcoming events includes, but is not limited to, my mom's arrival; a little surprise "shower" for Susi with her husband's family traveling from different states; our baby's arrival; Susi's mom's arrival; the possibility of my dad and brothers coming in for Christmas; Susi's husband's arrival; and Susi's baby's arrival... all of that in addition to the regular demands of life.

Our preparation has us thinking logistics, how we can provide comfortable accommodations without breaking our budget, mainly. I thought of "shouting out" for some help in procuring some items we may need. If you had any of the following to lend, sell or give away, we would be very grateful:

One or two nightstands,
an area rug (12" x 12")
a couple throw rugs (any size) or hallway rugs
a book shelf or small dresser
lamps for said night stands
a free standing screen (to provide a sense of privacy for a sleeping space)

If you have any of these items and would like to lend a hand, please let me know!
Thanks!

34 weeks

These is what we're looking like at 34 weeks! Ben posed as well...

Blueberry muffins

All the meetings this week have thrown our regular schedule off and we´ve been having late nights, late mornings, late naps, etc. However, that little disarray served a wonderful purpose this morning. For the first time in months, and months, and months, I was able to actually open my eyes before any other member of this little family.

That led the way for blueberry muffins to be made before they were downstairs and even earned me a "Mami, you´re the best for making these!" from Elena (then again, who can go wrong with blueberry muffins?).

So it was a happy, although late, morning in this home!

P.S. Thank you all for your encouraging comments on my last post... yeah... this pregnant woman is going through some hormonal ups and downs! Thanks for your love and understanding!

Unsophisticated me

Here I am... sorry about the unannounced absence. We had three days of fasting and prayer at church in preparation for some special meetings with Pastor Charlie Sweet this weekend. I can't really fast that much food, so I "fasted" internet, among other things. We are very excitedly looking forward to this weekend's meetings.

:: I've been asked about the ticker on my blog. I don't know what happened but it sort of got stuck on 19 weeks about two months ago and I've unsuccessfully tried everything to restore it, but it always comes back in as 19 weeks. So, If I can't get a newer one, I'll have to keep track of the pregnancy the old-fashioned way: I am 33 weeks along. Thanks for your interest!

:: Every once in a while I look at older pictures (aka pictures of my life as a single, children-less woman) and I wonder if I am being unfair to my husband and children as we; all wonder where that woman went. In my way through marriage and motherhood I have lost several habits I used to have. Some are justified (at least in my mind) some have simply slipped away from me. I know I've blogged about this before... I've mentioned how there used to be a time when I wouldn't even consider leaving home without makeup, where I'd make sure my hair was styled, my clothes carefully chosen and matched, etc.

Among the justified changes: When I have a newborn, especially, I ditch the lipstick, the wristwatch and perfumes on purpose. The lipstick because I keep kissing that little tiny face and don't want to leave any residue on the sweet baby; the wristwatch because I don't want to hurt the babe when I shift them from arm to arm, car seat, moses basket, etc.; and the perfume because I don't want to overwhelm that new baby with the strong scent of a perfume. Then come the comfortable shoes to make life after a toddler easier on my feet; the more simple outfits that won't mind smudges of sticky fingers, food stains and other incidents that happen when you live life with little ones.

Then, among those that have simply slipped away are the styling of the hair... I just don't have the time to blow dry my hair every single time; etc., etc., etc. Then there is the money you need to spend in order to keep up with hair styles, clothes, make up... it is expensive to look sharp all the time! I have become so "unsophisticated" not to say plain... am I doing my family a disservice? Do I look as frumpy as I feel, especially when I compare myself to my "old" self and/or I get someone like Susi living with me who spends so much time doing her hair, and nails, and make up, and her husband isn't even here to see her right now!

Oh well... I suppose it is another one of those seasons we have to go through... right?

Today

Due to Elena's medicine (which, happlily, she will be done with tomorrow!) she has had a hard time sleeping. My poor sweet girl, not only she already struggles with wakeful hours every so often but now is having the hardest time going to sleep and staying asleep long enough. It hasn't been uncommon during these 10 days of medicine for me to come out of the bathroom in one of my many trips during the night to walk by their bed and see her wide eyed little face looking at me (because no remodeling has been done upstairs, we still have to walk through their room to go in and out of ours). Bless her little heart, she'll stay there trying to go back to sleep for who knows how long. Last night was one of those and it was past midnight when she finally fell asleep. I didn't sleep to well last night either, so at about 7:00 a.m. Ben woke me up to let me know he'd be going downstairs to work on his message for Saturday night. He gave me a kiss and quietly left the room, I drifted back to sleep in the hopes of sleeping a little longer as I realized I had a headache.

Next thing I knew, Ben was back on the side of the bed, waking me up again with a smiling Adriana in his arms. As Adriana threw her arms at me Ben told me that she had already had breakfast and that he needed to leave for the office. "What?!" I vaguely remember Adriana's little hand stroking my face and telling her that I wasn't feeling too well, could we go back to sleep for a little longer... I have no idea when she got out of bed and how she managed to make enough noise for Ben to come get her without my waking up. So Elena and I rolled out of bed at about 9:30!!!

In spite of having forgotten that I had to take Susi to get her hair cut and having had to get the girls ready and out in a hurry, I managed to accomplish a few things. I cleaned my kitchen, got dinner for tomorrow started in the crock pot, baked an apple pie, and almost finished the countdown calendar I'm working on to get the girls (more) excited about my mom's coming. The girls' room still awaits some serious work (that's why I haven't showed any pictures of the new beds) but as pregnant as I am, I don't envision finishing it before next week is over.

Well, thanks for letting me ramble!

Please pray

Many times during the day, as I feel this baby move inside of me, I remember them. My heart breaks as I can't even imagine going through such an ordeal and my prayers are for the overshadowing peace of God to cover them and minister them through it all. Please pray for them even if you don't know them!