A month's worth of pictures

In one month, well one week really, we managed to get two "shiners"... Little Ben sported one

Elena, the other one.

"Tio Jonafan" came for a visit

Little girls had cups of tea...

and I am now getting to scatter pretty things around my new space...

I will post more pictures later.

Surreal

Number dialed. Wait. A "computer" voice answers: "Welcome to ****'s teleconferencing service. Please enter your access code followed by the # sign". I do it. "After the tone please say your name, followed by the # sign". I do it. Weird beeps follow and voilá, I have stepped into a world very different from my regular one. Eight more voices begin to join and in less than a minute a "classroom" of sorts is assembled. We have never seen each other's faces. We had never spoken before, yet for the past three days we have spent five hours together each day.

Minnesota, Idaho, Chicago, New York, California. Japanese, Portuguese, Polish, Spanish and English. Names without faces learning together so as to plug into this abstract representation of the corporate world. This is just the beginning, though. Soon enough each one of us will become a voice for an anonymous individual anywhere in the world. By way of telephonic waves we will become bankers, doctors, nurses, 911 dispatchers, judges, attorneys, insurance brokers, and who-knows-what-else to some non-English speaker lost in this foreign world. I find it surreal, fascinating, intriguing.

For a few minutes we will be a conduit of information that will flow between a corporation and a customer. Maybe we will be the life line that will connect a real, life threatening emergency to the responder that can make all the difference between life and death. Maybe we will simply be the clerk that ensures a payment in time, or a technician explaining a customer how to use their newest technological device. All this will happen upon answering a phone call. Crazy, just plain crazy!

Thankful

We stopped work and play, dished ourselves some food (thanks, Colleen), turned the station, sat down and watched in anticipation. The show is a bit too "wild" for my liking, but there is only one reason we are all tuned in today: a chapter in a love story, our love story. Our engagement is being aired on national TV again and so, we quiet little chattering voices around us and wait.

He appears on the screen and little girly "ooohs", "ahhhs" and giggles fill the room. It has been a rough couple days, so I sit silently watching, remembering. He proposed... I said "sí", or at least I tried and muttered some unintelligible response that translated into the desired affirmation.

Fast forward almost six years... It has been a rough couple days... I want to say yes again! Tears well up my eyes. I love this man.

Hard working, fun loving, sensitive and romantic man. He has filled my days with laughter; his own: loud, happy, full of life; mine: quiet, satisfied, and grateful; and theirs: noisy, constant, pure. My life is full... what more could I ask for.

Product of that happy day full of promise and destiny came her:

An Elena, my Elena. My happy girl who gets "so encigged" by the little things of life, who would live on sweets alone, and who lives to be a princess. **She writes four or five of the letters she knows and reads you a complete story. **She pretends to hold Jesus´hand when walking through a parking lot because it is more grown up than holding on to Mami or Daddy but it is still a hand. **She loves to help her sister on the potty and celebrates her heartily when successful. **She adores her little brother and loves to discover new ways to make him laugh. **She winks, and smiles, and dances, and twirls, and fills my world with dance. She is perfect.

then her:
An Adriana, my Adriana. My little dynamite whose determination is as intense as the big eyes that light up her face. **She is caught in between baby and toddler world, she loves so much being both. **She is determined and independent but craves snuggles more than anything else in this world. **She kisses the sweetest kisses and hugs the tightest embraces full of love. **She does everything with a passion that belongs only to her. **She will sing herself to sleep and pick up the song right where she left it the minute she opens her eyes. **She teases, and jokes, and plays, and sings, and loves and every time she hugs you, her little hand will sweetly rub your back. She fills my days with wonder and she is perfect.

...and him:
A boy! My sweet boy! My other Ben. **He is just as sweet as his daddy. **He loves to laugh. **He looks at my face adoringly when I talk. **His rich blue eyes shine as the sweetness of his smile overtakes his chubby cheeks when I come into sight. **He is as pleasant as he is cute. **He coughs to get attention. **He constantly slaps his right hand as long as he is awake and isn´t holding anything with it. **He is chubby, and chunky, and joyful, and he fills my days with sweetness. He is perfect.

Each one of them is mine. They are mine for a season, he is mine forever. My life is full. My life is perfect.

The floor is down!

1. mid progress

with the stove in place and still pending the trim

The infamous dining room green walls with the new floor.

Our handy helpers: Jeremy and Kris

I figured a couple of my readers (ahem, Dee and Becky)
would love looking at these guys at work!
They did an amazing job, thank you guys for working and ladies for releasing them to us!

A Splash (a very big one) of color...

Here's the deal: except for one person's very enthusiastic and favorable response, most of the comments our (well, my really) color choices have elicited are exclamations of how "latin", "hispanic", or "Guatemalan" it looks. The amount of colors responds to the different activities that we will carry out in this room and wanting to give each area a different feel. It may not have been the greatest of ideas, but we wanted to liven it up. Maybe we went for too many colors, I don't know but we will give it a try and live with it for a little bit (ahem, we are on a deadline here!) and decide later if we will truly keep this color collection or not. In the meantime, here goes nothing:

1. (above) the kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets the long wall's "blanket brown" across the dining room's "coriander seed"

2. (above) Living room/office's "fresh praline" meets dining room's "coriander seed"


3. (above) This is the part that still has us scratching our heads... the closer wall is being hit by sunlight and the "coriander seed" looks a deep green. Move to the wall further back that meets the kitchen... this wall is being hit by the light bulbs in the dining room and it looks more "mustardy"... that's the part we're not sure of.


4. Long wall's "blanket brown" meets living room's "fresh praline"
5. Kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets long wall's "blanket brown" (which are really my favorites in this crazy combo).
6. The kitchen hit by sunlight... my most favorite part of all. When the room is lit by the sun, the colors look so good! So there, maybe you'll come to my newest section of the house and be overwhelmed by my color pallette... sorry. I had fun trying and still don't know how to "fix it" or whether it really needs fixing...

At any rate, the guys are working on the flooring right now, so tomorrow I will post pictures of their final product (as well as pictures of them!). I just wanted to catch you all up with the color portion. Later on, we will see how our mismatched furniture fits in here!

I´ll try

I´ll try to post a pic and a link to the most likely color that will go on that space, hopefully it will work.

1.- On this picture: Left wall: *brown blanket
Back wall (living room area): *wild wheat


2. Right wall (same as left wall in previous picture): *blanket brown
Kitchen and doorway wall: *toasted nutmeg
We will give the kitchen a bit of a face lift, but probably not until we´re moved in. We may remove the cupboard doors and leave them open, maybe... not sure yet, but accents will be white.

3.- The little wall, together with the dining room space (which I don´t seem to have a good picture of): *coriander seed

4.- My office space will be a combination of two of any of these colors.

Day Six

Slowly but steady:

1. Ben finished closing up one side of the old bedroom doorway after working all the necessary wiring.


2. Looking at it from the kitchen. This will be our dining space.


3. & 4. Our old computer room storing probably 90% of Mom and Dad L´s belongings:

Day Five

Again, Day Four seemed to be slower just because of electric stuff going on. Today may begin to see more tangible progress but while that happens I thought I´d share my home office inspiration.

Although I´m not sure the color will work because my little office space will be the darkest spot downstairs with no natural light hitting it anywhere at any time of the day. But there, tell me what you think.

Day Three

Because day two was mostly devoted to working with electric wiring and such, no visible progress was made to photograph. Here's today's progress though.

I should be working on picking some wall colors soon since Ben wants to paint before laying down the laminate flooring.

End of day one

At the end of day one, carpeting is gone and so is the sheet rock on the wall.

Ben is working on the electric to finish taking out the wall
A closer look.

"And the renovation begins right now"

Okay, it may not make much sense but maybe as it develops it will. Bear with me, please. For those who don´t know, we are trading downstairs apartments with Mom and Dad L so as to be on one whole side of the house. It is a first step of a long term remodel we want to ultimately do. Although we don´t know when step 2 will follow, we are pretty excited about getting on with step 1.


1. When you come into their apartment, this wall separates the living room/kitchen from the bedroom.
2. The doorway will be closed in and the wall to the left torn down.

3. Seen from the bedroom: the wall to be demolished to the right now. With the closing of the doorway we intend to somehow use the corner and closet space to make an office space with a built-in interpreting booth in the closet. It may not be the most practical solution but at least that would provide an immediate semi-enclosed space for me to work without completely removing me from family life and won´t require all the electrical re-wiring we would have had to do other wise. Plus, we have a 3 week deadline while Mom and Dad are visiting Andrea in TX.

4. With the wall gone it should open up a larger space for living room, dining area and kitchen.

5. As you can see, carpeting has already been removed. Their kitchen begins at the change of flooring, but we will install new laminate flooring throughout. Notice how lightly I use the term "we". I am mostly in charge of our current living space and the little people. All the exciting plans we had for these days did not materialize, had it not been for the girls´little outing to Aunt Dee´s we would all have ended up couped up with a feverish baby... *sigh* just going with the flow now.

Stay tuned for updates, that is the most exciting thing I can do regarding the project right now!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I am so ridiculously exhausted! For two and a half weeks I have had to wake up at night much more than usual and it is finally beginning to wear on me. We are not dealing with a tummy bug, thankfully, but my girls seem to take after me and gag at absolutely anything when they're sick, so they have thrown up even when their sickness doesn't call for it. So between throwing up, fevers and the attitudes and behavior that go with it, hurting tummys, noses, anythings, bathroom emergencies and the regular nursing wake up times of the night I am, finally, worn out.

Last night (or this morning, when it was still dark, I don't even know anymore) Adriana came to our bed. Although we've been trying to wean her of this, we made an exception this week that she's been sick. She had some milk, the baby woke up so I brought him in bed thinking I was tired enough not to even bother putting him back on his basket, he was going to stay in bed with me. As I was almost asleep I heard Adriana cough... and cough... and cough... aaaand... I had just so much time to lift the baby up and be the target of the projectile! I guess the good news was that whatever I didn't catch her pillow did, so after wiping baby, her, my face and ridding of my nightgown Ben went to sleep with Elena, we threw a big towel on our bed (just in case we missed something) and we went back to sleep at a time that by all reason we should have been waking up.

Even though we woke up at 9, Adriana is still cranky enough that I didn't manage to come downstairs until 10. My body aches, my head aches, my eyes are fighting to stay open and Elena & Ben jr. are ready to take on the world! Cookies and brownies for breakfast and who knows what will make it to the table for lunch and dinner today! arghhh...

New Job

Well, *sigh* there it is. I have signed. I accepted their offer, they´ve accepted mine. Our little family life is about to change dramatically and I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.

I know life is of seasons and this is just another season. I love interpreting, I know it will enjoyable. But I can´t deny that there is a very big part of me that doesn´t like to have home life dictated by a commitment made in exchange of a paycheck.

I will work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12:30 to 5:30 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from 7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. thus totaling 20 hours each week. Ben has made arrangements for his office hours to change, partly because of this, partly due to some re-structuring the church office is going through. At any rate, the re-arranging should work so that he is with the little ones most of the time I´m on the phone.

I won´t leave home. I will work here, but there is something that turns in my stomach every time the recruiters remind me that I am to ensure a quiet space. The lady I was speaking to yesterday, a mom herself, assured me that little ones "get it" and so mine should soon learn that "when the door is closed, they are not to interrupt Mom".... arghhh! I don´t like that! Now, I won´t be behind closed doors per se, but I do need to ensure the quiet space, so we will fashion an office corner with a closet space that we intend to make work as an "interpreting booth".

Thus the mixed emotions... Firstly, we are excited about the extra $$ and are already planning how to disburse it within our budget. Secondly, I can´t deny the excitement of the job in and of itself... what can I say, I do like to interpret. On the other hand, there are the sacrifices to be made at home.

We are fearfully walking through this, understanding that this is something we need to do and will serve as a tool to our family life as we learn to be more disciplined and intentional about our life. We´ll see how it goes and keep you posted!

Ponderings

If you have access to the internet, and if you are a part of some sort of social network you are flooded with all kinds of information these days. From politics to advertising, you have to pick and choose what to read and how you will react to what you read.

Where you focus your sight will determine what you will witness. Where you place your faith will determine what you will see happening for you. What you listen to the most will determine what you will end up believing. Do you wonder what you are witnessing?

I think about the people who lived in the times of Jesus and who witnessed His crucifixion. I think about that very moment when He hung on the cross, as His breathing slowed... What was going through those people´s minds? What were they seeing around them? I´m sure every single face in that setting witnessed to their heart. Did they know what they were witnessing?

I think not. I can almost see the words illustrated by faces as the events unfolded. Doubt... "I thought He was the Savior." Regret: "And I wasted my time following." Hopelessness: "Who is going to save us now?" Uncertainty: "What happens to us now?" Disbelief: "I can't believe this is happening!" Fear: "What does the future hold?" Despair: "Whom do we turn to now?"

As my mind's eye walks this event, I know that these must have only been a few of the questions flooding people's minds that day. As I know they're only a few of the questions that flood people's minds, today. They fill my mind sometimes too. And then I ask myself: "Do I know... Do I know what I am witnessing? Am I missing the miracle in the making?"

Those people may have missed the miracle because they kept looking around the Cross. Would their questions have been different if their focus had been on Him? Could they have seen the love? Could they have understood the miracle? Can WE?

"...Fixing our eyes in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2)

Update

I am in one of those seasons of realizing that the years have most definitely gone by. The things that I´ve considered new for a while aren´t appearing that new anymore.

Take my makeup bag, for example. It is very accurate to say that ALL the makeup I own fits in one of those half quart baggies they let you bring on the plane for toiletries. I only have one item of each category and they are ALL 5 years old. The reason I know this is because my previous makeup bag (which was a little bigger than the current one) was inside the purse that was stolen from me in Guatemala, the October before I got married. I never fully replaced the contents of the bag and that is how I know exactly how old my makeup is.

Probably in the same category fall my techniques for makeup application and hair styling, and my sense of style for that matter. I will inevitably buy the most neutral (aka boring) clothes, because I´m never quite sure what is really in style for my lifestyle (age and status). I will always wear my hair pulled back in the same style or a pony tail because I have absolutely no skill whatsoever for styling hair. And the last time I had to seriously do my makeup for a wedding I about panicked because not only did I not own whatever beauty products were needed for the task but I realized the techniques I´d use would be those I learned back about 15 years ago when I was hip and current. I think an update would be nice, just a little refresher, you know.

Life

It feels as though I´m finally beginning to catch up with life a little. Some areas of the house are beginning to look tidy. Of course, it always seem to go that the downstairs gets better or more work than the upstairs. Mostly because once we come downstairs for breakfast I hardly ever go back upstairs except for nap and bed times. And of course, as I catch up with the house, I must quickly begin to pack this downstairs for our move to the other apartment. As it is, old Susi's room has already become Mom's sowing/storage room.

I have managed to keep on working even when I slow down to nurse the baby. Usually it is hard for me to get up once I sit down because I'll inevitably grab a book, or my crochet and get so caught in in that I stay on the couch doing these things (when I don't fall asleep with him). Today was the hardest day, though. Ben has been doing an hour of activities at a nearby Christian School at the beginning of their day. They call it "Spirit Emphasis Week". Every morning he's been getting up earlier than usual and running off to do this, so we haven't seen him when we get up. So, today when he crossed the front door at around 10.30 a.m. with his bag in hand and the news that he was taking the morning off because he wasn't feeling well it took absolutely every single ounce of my will not to sit with him on the couch!

It is so hard not to sit with him and want to spend time with him when he is home! How does everybody else does it? Once Ben is here I have the strong tendency of ditching responsibilities and just sit with him. Not today, though. Today I succeeded! I kept on working while he sat to work on the computer and I have just sat down now while he took the girls upstairs for naps. Yay for me!!! My house is not in terrible disarray because I've managed to keep up!

My brain

This morning:

What day is it today? ...ohh, yeah, Monday. Ben is gone already. Adriana is calling. Oh my! She must be wet. "Coming, sweetie, go to the bathroom. I'll bring your underwear there." Do we have pull ups up here? Ok, baby sleeps. Change Adriana. I'll fold a basket of laundry while Elena and the baby awaken. Oooops, scrap that thought, the baby is up. "Good morning little sweet heart! You have the brightest smile. I love you". Yikes! His diaper leaked. Change the baby. I'll still try to fold while Elena wakes up. Ok, never mind. "Good morning sweetie! Here let me get you some clothes. Go brush your teeth and get dressed and we'll go downstairs." What can I wear... What's clean. I should throw a load of laundry before I go downstairs. I should REALLY fold at least one basket before I go downstairs. "We're going downstairs in a little bit. What? A little bit? A little bit is a few minutes? Well, not necessarily five, maybe... Don't worry Elena, I'll just get dressed and we'll go downstairs. Find your milk cups while I get ready". I'm out of stain remover, gotta write that down on the list. Hope I don't forget. "Come here little man, we're going downstairs. (louder) Girls? Got your cups? Let's go downstairs!" Man! You'd think I'd pick up a bit last night. This is messy. Where do I even start? Breakfast... COFFEE!! Hmm, Ben probably didn't eat anything, poor guy. "Yes, Adriana, I know you want your juice. Please don't whine, I'll get it to you in a minute. Yes, Elena, I know you want cereal for breakfast, I heard you the first time. What is it buddy? You're not gonna let me eat yet, are you? Let's go nurse you." I'm hungry. I hope he goes to sleep. He is so cute, sweet thing. Hopefully he'll fall asleep for a good while. "Are you done with your breakfast? You want more cereal? I'd like you to wait until I'm done feeding the baby, ok?" I should have left the cereal box on the table, Elena could have gotten it herself. Babies hands are cold, cover him. What will I eat, when will I eat... What time is it? I need to make phone calls. One to Continental. Where else was I supposed to call? I knew I should have written it down. Baby sleeps. Quiet, quiet, quiet... turn light off. "More cereal? sure. Sit on your bummy or your knees, please." Eggs, I'll have eggs. Uh oh, we'll need eggs, and bread, and milk. Grab pen, write it down NOW! What was the other thing? Arghh! Never mind. Grab Bible, pen, journal, coffee... what else? oh, yeah, napkin. Sit down. Breathe. Open Bible, open journal. Take a bite. Wow! I haven't written here in a very long time! "More juice? How do you ask?" Maybe I won't write today either. Where was I? Oh, yeah, today is the 7th, I'll start with a Proverb. Proverbs, Proverbs... 7. Hmmm... wisdom, "Wisdom builds its house" Does it say the same thing in English? Take a sip. "Adriana! Your pants are wet. You forgot to tell me you needed to go." Not really, I forgot to remind her. Take her pants off. Run upstairs to bring fresh pants... of course, the baby´s eyes are now open. Rush, rush, maybe I can still finish my food before he cries. Remember: bring the bathroom cleaning supplies downstairs with me. That downstairs bathroom is in serious need of cleaning. Oh, yeah, a tablecloth too. Change Adriana. Pick up baby. Make a phone call. Make another. Yet another call, we´ll have company for dinner. Clean toilet. Clean sink. Put cleaning supplies away and out of girls´reach. Arghh! Why didn´t I ask Mel how she´s tolerating chicken lately. Chicken! Get it out of the freezer. Crock pot? Oven? Call again. Lunch. What do I make for lunch. Quesadillas? We don´t have cheese. Any sandwich is out of the question, we don´t have bread. Man! What do I make? Open fridge. Scan, scan, scan... look at clock. It´s late! Eggs, how many eggs are there? Scramble. Tater tots. Put in oven...

I´ll drop it here... you get the point though. And I still wonder why I forget things or why I don´t make any sense at times. °sigh°

"Mi Casa es tu Casa"

"Make yourself at home"... How many times do we use phrases like those and really, really, truly, mean it? How many times have we used the phrase and actually lived it out? Well, we have. Six months ago we opened our door to my cousin. She and her baby left us on Thursday. We were sad to see her go, but happy to see her move on to the next season of her life.

Tomorrow she will be on her way to Guatemala, where she will wait for her husband to finish his assignment and be finally reunited as a family in July. She left us filled with memories, some hard, some fun, some really funny, some very sweet. We miss her already!

So, here is to her time with us, laugh with us if you may!

*sigh* =0)

Me: "Adriana, what is this? Why is this all wet?" (After picking up a rubber cup holder she was playing with).

A: "Oh, Is ok, Mommy, I just putting my water in it."

Me: "Water?! Where did you get water from?" (Alarmed at the thought of her "putting" water anywhere else in the house).

A: "Is ok, Mommy is just my water."

Me: "Sweetie, where did you get water from?"

A: "Is just my water from my mouth"

A grocery "shopping" story...

We normally buy our groceries with cash but when we realized how busy we are this week and how we were scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel, we decided to do a grocerys shopping trip tonight. I served dinner, we ate and I bundled the baby and left shortly debit card in hand.

Funny, when I only had Elena I wouldn´t even have dreamed of going out to the store by myself with the baby! Tonight, it was nice to be at the store with an infant who went on the carrier and happily smiled at me without interrupting my shopping at all.

An hour later I had completed my task. I was in the process of transferring my bags to the cart, very excited to have come one Dollar under my budget when the cashier informed me my card had been denied. Of course I had no other payment method, so very embarrassed I left my bags and the store in a hurry.

I ran to the van, baby-in-car-seat in arms and with every step my feelings began to change from embarrassment to anger. Oh I was so angry at... I didn't know who could possibly be the object of my anger! It couldn't be the cashier at the store... Ben? No, while he very certainly was subject to my anger (poor honey!), he was definitely not the object of it! He directed me to the ATM where I realized the problem: my card number had been compromised! I couldn't even check my balance!

How dare these bank people do this to a mother, standing in the cold desolate parking lot while her baby cries his little lungs out strapped to the car seat! I went back to the car, sat at the wheel, and was getting ready to cry (yeah, pathetic, I know). But then I stopped. Hold on a second, I thought to myself. "Ok, Lord, What could possibly be the purpose of my having gone through the wasted trip to the store?", I asked.

Well, I am still waiting for the answer to that one, but after asking the question and driving back home I realized that as upset as I was, I could be thankful that if I couldn't access my money, neither could anyone else. At the very least I could be thankful for this technology that would have allowed such a precaution and with that thought in mind I got home. But above all things I just had to remember that God does make everything work together for good. "Everything" means EVERYTHING, every single little thing, including this silly night of mine.

Our bed isn't ours

For the past 4 years we've had to share our bed with one (or all three) of our children. Though it lends itself sometimes for very difficult sleep for us, we love it. Yeah, sometimes we wake up to wet sheets due to a leaky diaper, sometimes we are kept awake longer than we'd wanted, but all in all it has been a wonderful part of being parents. I love it.

I love when Adriana comes to find her spot between Ben and me to snuggle as close as she can to one of us (usually me). Her little arm comes wraps around my neck and her little face is pressed against mine. That is how she goes back to sleep.

I love opening my eyes in the morning to the milky chunky little body curled up by my side. I love that the minute I move, he immediately stirs looks at me with his baby blue eyes and smiles the widest toothless-cheek-crunching-smile.

And when I am tempted to complain because a little someone is stealing my blankets or leaving me no room to move, all I have to do is remember that although Elena still comes to us occasionally, she is pretty much past that season. My little girl rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now and when she does, she usually takes her little self to the bathroom and back to bed. So I'll take it... as uncomfortable as it may get, I love snuggling with my babies!

More funnies from the girls

*Adriana is always asking for snacks when she's not supposed to and I keep telling her "no" time after time, after time. So she had already asked three or four times in the last hour when she came back in the kitchen: "Mooomy, I want tandy!", frustrated, I turned to look at her and said "Adriana, sweetie..." but before I could go on she said: "Momy, be happy. ok?" ...and I really didn't know what to say, I just had to laugh and say "dinner will be ready soon".

It was bed time and I had given Elena instructions to go take her clothes off to prepare for bed. She was walking and talking around, obviously delaying her obedience. Ben finally made her note this and asked her to be quicker to obey. "But I want to blow pretend bubbles!" came her response as she dragged her feet towards her bedroom and was beginning to cry. In an attempt to make a point to her, Ben said to her: "Elena, I want to go walk on the moon..." but before he could even try to go on and make his point she said: "Daddy, I want to go walk in the moon with you" and kept going on "I will be so sad if you go without me!", Ben and I just looked at each other and laughed...

Chuckling

As we walked the couple aisles of tanks filled with all sorts of fascinating sea creatures we could hear all sorts of exclamations coming from little voices thrilled at the discoveries.

We kept hearing Bannon say: "Hey, Jake, look at this fish I found" or "Aunt Keila, I need someone to show something" and then he'd excitedly run back to proudly show his discovery.

"Ooohs" and "ahhhs" kept coming from every direction of the store. Rightly so, these tiny little creatures were simply fascinating reminders of God's careful design. Amazing colors, shapes, and even temperaments (I think fish have them too) were at display. Of course, we found Nemo, Dori AND Nemo's dad, saw a "bubble bus" (one of those little water tank decorations that let a big bubble out every few seconds), a sting ray, live rocks and corals (which I had never seen before), and even a rope fish (yes, a fish a few inches long that had the texture of a rope!).

But the real point of this story, what made Be and I laugh was that in the excitement of the moment, the girls, especially Abby and Elena, kept going back and forth from tanks showing each other their findings and exchanging exclamations and opinions about what they saw. Their exclamations began to blend as they tried to imitate each other and this is what we began to hear:

Elena: "Oh my holy! Abby come look at this!"
Abby: "molly gooness, Elena!"

and every possible combination of the exclamations they kept making! Silly, but worth recording for future memories!

Life these past few days

Well, our plans this weekend were to attend a Valentine´s Day party and a Birthday party or two in addition to the regular weekend activities. For a season now I have really been craving some grown up socializing just for fun. It goes without saying that life with little ones leaves one needing time to just sit among adults, even if I can´t bring much to the conversation (or the table, for that matter) because I still haven´t gotten a hold of life. So I was very excitedly looking forward to these opportunities to share with loved ones, maybe interesting topics, maybe a few laughs, just a good time.

My weekend ended up looking quite differently from the refreshing time I´d envisioned. I had longer nights that usual with Adriana sick. Not only could I not make it to the parties I was looking forward to but not making it to church either! Adriana has been extremely testing because she probably has been feeling so poorly and it has made staying at home much more tiring and demanding than usual.

My heart is in a good place though, I know these days will pass sooner than later and there will always be parties to be attended and fun to be had. Now I only need a bit more patience to help my little girl deal with getting better!

The Heart of the Matter

As the girls are growing and continue to present challenges on a daily basis we are faced with choices. How to correct them, what to correct them for, when to do it, etc. We so much want to honor the Lord with our discipline and lead them towards God's mercy. So a couple weeks ago, when we came to wake them up from naps to find that they hadn't slept at all but instead, ever so quietly, threw every single item of clothing on the floor. Not only that, but they managed to climb on their dresser and get every possible cream, rub, lotion, etc. and smear it on their hair. It was quite a funny scene but we couldn't treat it as funny at the moment, we needed to be quick to correct. When we wanted to do it, though, where did we start? They did so many things they weren't supposed to do:

* They got out of bed
* They were playing instead of sleeping
* They climbed on the dresser
* They took the lotions and creams (which included anti-itch, and antibiotic ointments, and petroleum jelly!)
* They took all the clothes and messed the morning's worth of work, etc.

We felt full of remarks and comments that we felt compelled to explain to them. Things such as how much these things cost, how much effort Mom put in folding all the clothes nicely, how dangerous it was to put stuff on their faces and hair threatened to spill out of these concerned parents who, by the way, decided to tackle this together to stay accountable and avoid a major temper meltdown! Yet any course of action we'd suggest would be received with the question "why".

No matter what we said, they couldn't comprehend the severity of what they had done. So after a lot of head scratching and quick little discussions over little heads screaming about the scrubbing of hair we asked each other: what is the bottom line? The bottom line was that they disobeyed, take your pick as to what color, shape or intensity, they disobeyed and that was what we needed to address. We knew that not only would they understand that but it would also keep us objective.

Yes, this was a very simple response to a very simple dilemma. Probably most of you, seasoned moms have figured this one out already, but to us, it was a revelation! It was one of those moments where we could have heard an angelic choir of voices chime in as we concluded to address the obedience issue and forget how stressed, disappointed and even angry we felt.

So I know I've been out of touch here, but at least life has been dishing us some good lessons lately!

Every once in a while...

...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple,
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food, and wonderful company

that rare chance was tonight... I am very, very grateful for such awesome friends!

Horrible

My stomach turned at the sight of this. My tears flowed and I just wanted to hold my babies. We need to pray!

Little People...

While Elena helped me change little Ben's diaper:

E : "Mami, when I was little I don't have one of those" pointing at the open diaper.
Me: "No, sweetie, little girls and little boys are different"
E: "Yes! (very enthusiastically) Mami, when I get bigger I will have a big bommy like yours!!!"

Ben is raising faithful Dolphin fans, as expected. Elena has been duly drilled and if you ask the question "Who is your favorite quarterback?" She'll say her own version of "Chad Pennington". So I told Ben to show her a picture of the guy to give her a face to think of. He did and showed her he was wearing number 10 on his shirt. She was very excited and interested so he proceeded to show her Rony Brown:

Ben: "Elena, what's the most innovative offensive scheme in the National Football League this year?"
E: "hmmm... wi-cat!"
Ben: Showing her Rony Brown's picture: "Look Elena, this is Ronny Brown, he runs the wild cat"
E: "Daddy, how old is he?"
Ben: "How old is he? I don't know, he's a little younger than daddy"
E: "No Daddy, how old is he in his shirt"

Adriana has been in the habit of leaving the room whenever she is told not to do something. She did it so inconspicuously and nonchalantly that we didn't catch on until Ben was in the "computer room" and she passed him to go to the bottom of the stairs. When he realized she'd been there for a couple minutes he said:

B: "Adriana, what are you doing sweetie? You know you're not supposed to be at the bottom of the stairs."
A: "Nothing, Daddy! I just picking my nose!"

Now that we know what she does, after she'll disappear when she's been asked not to do something (usually when I am nursing and can't follow her right away):

Me: "Adriana, come in here please"
A: "I coming, Mama"
Me: "Are you disobeying?"
A: "I not disbeying, Mama, I just picking my nose!"

Life goes on

Of course, on the day my mom left:

*I had an emergency dentist appointment to deal with an infection. That turned out to be a more difficult job than expected and let's just say that my dentist will fight to save the piece, but I need a root canal do over among other things. You'd think I never brush my teeth! Crazy! So I am in pain because until he finishes the work and I have been on an antibiotic for a few days it won't get better.

*Because it was an emergency appointment, we couldn't make any baby sitting arrangements for our over tired girls who had woken up at 4 a.m. that morning. Ben had a really tough time with a crying baby who would just not settle. He had to take them for a car ride so the girls could watch a movie and the baby settle with the ride. That worked up until coming back to the dentist's as the baby woke up with the stopping of the car.

*Turns out that our over tired girls and baby were also acting up because they weren't feeling well. As of yesterday we are also nursing colds.

*But we are taking it moment by moment and trying to keep up without being overwhelmed trusting that the grace will be available to deal with everything that comes our way.

* That being said, I was tagged, so here it goes:


My fourth folder was: Craiglist. My fourth picture in the folder was this one. Explanation: I wanted to sell Elena's high chair and a couple other items and tried my hand at craiglist. There, now I tag: Becky, Darlene, Danica, and Brietta.

(Post the fourth picture on the fourth folder of your pictures and explain! oh yeah, and tag 4 more people).

Well

The night was long. We sat together mostly in silence because every attempt at talking would require our looking at each other and that would only to show the other one´s tears quietly running down our cheeks. Maybe if we didn´t go to sleep the time to drive to the airport wouldn´t come. Silly, I know. So the time came. At 4:00 a.m. today we woke up and all five of us drove Pita to the airport. This time I couldn´t even wait to see her past security to wave. I squeezed her as tight as I could and with tears streaming down my face we turned back to leave. How I will miss her, how I already do!

Getting ready to say good by

**Edit**
Little bit of news: Susi has been uncertain of the time she´d need to stay here after the baby´s birth because her residency papers were ridiculously delayed. The best hope we had was April for an interview and then another wait for the actual green card to be issued and even that was a very stretchy maybe according to the Immigration Officer we talked to in December. Out of the blue, today we got a phone call from her attorney informing us that they received an email to notify them that her card has been approved WITHOUT an interview!!! As soon as that card gets here she is a free woman! She can leave the country, she can go make her home back in North Carolina, she can go anywhere she wants and does not have to look at being confined to our little guest room for unending months! Thank you Lord!

************************************************************************************

Before we knew it, it's my mom's turn to say good by. I have tons of thoughts and tons of pictures to share but my time at a computer is so limited that I haven´t had time to upload anything let alone type. I don´t foresee my time getting freer with my mom gone, so I appreciate your patience as I now try my hand "for real" at being the Mommy of three. So far I feel I´ve been cheating my way through it as my mom has always been around to be the extra set of arms. So I´ll let you know what life is like in about a week. Don´t be surprised if you see even less of me here...

Talk to all soon!

What can be sweeter?

Another Year

As we wave away 2008 and prepare to welcome 2009 I have so much in my mind and in my heart. I don't really know where to begin or how much to share as life this year has felt so overwhelming. I feel uncertain about so many things... be it past decisions that at the time seemed to come out of obedience and are yielding results we never imagined we'd have to face or future decisions that we are trying to make wisely.

We left 2007 grieving a little life lost to a miscarriage, facing a scary and unexpected turn of a business venture and praying that 2008 would bring better news. Today we are facing much more uncertainty than we were a year ago and though in many ways 2008 brought much better news and bore blessings we can't even begin to count, it did leave us recovering from quite a few unexpected blows.

I am so thankful for the hand of the Lord that has carried us through thick and thin. He continues to be the only constant in our life with His mercy, steadfastness and love. I definitely pray that 2009 brings awaited resolution and relief of situations, clarity and wisdom for decisions, and maybe even a little respite from all the squeezing and stretching, but if it doesn't at least I know I will always have His grace, His comfort, His shelter, His forgiveness, and His love... I will always have Him, that is all I want to keep in mind.

Welcome one, welcome all

Our house has reached its full temporary potential. The last two guests scheduled for arrival happened to arrive on the same day. My cousin had the tiniest little baby (6.2 lbs) on Sunday at about 2:00 p.m., only 5 hours after his father joined the laboring Mom at the hospital!

All along, from the midwives to all of us were fearing Jorge was coming too early and he'd have to leave before the baby's birth. Talk about God's control over things!

At any rate, here we are, two little babies, two little girls and six adults, all in our house. An American-Guatemalan-Puerto Rican mix!

A few pics.:

Luis André Cintrón
Dec. 28/08
6.2 lbs -- 19"

He is a perfect mix of his parents!

Newest cousins... My little Ben doesn't look that little next to him!

So much going on

Adriana LOVES to "tiss the baby"

My baby boyEnjoying the snow after the play, even when it was about 9:00 p.m.

All Adriana would do: jump into a mound of snow.

I´m afraid there is just so much activity going on I haven´t caught a breath long enough to sit and write properly. There has been a lot on my mind but it hasn´t made it to this blog because I am still adjusting to life with three little ones and a full house for the Holidays. So I´ll just let some pictures fill in while my mind (and life!) are more in order!

Survived!

We survived! The blackout, storm, whatever you want to call it. It was quite the adventure to spend one night "power-less" at home (well, two if you count Thursday night, when the power went out). Saturday morning we had been invited to breakfast to our friends' who did have power and heat (and cook) with propane. So we opened our eyes, rolled out of bed, grabbed our toothbrushes and packed up the car to go over. Let me just say, we got there for breakfast and were quickly talked into staying for a few hours while the men tried to lug generators and the such. A few hours turned into spending the night!

We were very graciously hosted, the five members of my little family plus my mom, plus my cousin, plus my cousin's mom who happened to arrive in town that very same day!

I learned so much about community as so many did so much for each other. From men who showed up to our property to cut damaged trees, to couples out in the city who'd call and offer to bring whatever was needed, to friends showing up for showers at friends' homes, people crashing at other people's homes. In the midst of such complicated times, we were all there for each other, how wonderful.

Sunday morning services were carried with no sound equipment, all bundled up with an extra layer or two, and a few empty chairs. That same morning, trucks came in from some obscure place in Michigan and I mean A LOT of trucks and some amazing people gave up their Sunday morning to come be our heroes and restore our power.

The landscape was breathtaking, the company so much fun, the lessons invaluable, the weekend was unforgettable!!!

Lovely

Little Ben´s Birth (I apologize... it is really long)

The 40th week of my pregnancy I began having the usual "bouts" of contractions heralding my baby´s arrival. However I had determined not to pay attention to them and so I did. Except for Ben, whom I told occasionally about them, nobody knew and I managed to ignore even the painful ones. If there were any contractions too hard to ignore, I´d try to practice relaxing and reminding myself that my body was just getting ready to give "passage" to this new life so I could hold and admire it.

Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church I actually considered the possibility that we might not make it to church but we did and still the remainder of the day went on.

Monday at 4:00 a.m. a strong contraction woke me up. Still determined to keep with my plan, I went back to sleep. The next contraction woke me up, I looked at the clock: 4:06, back to sleep again and back up with the next. I went back to sleep again, and again and by about 4.45 recognized a pattern but still decided to keep resting. When by 5:00 things hadn´t changed I woke Ben up and invited him to join me in the living room to see where things were heading.

Once downstairs I had some juice and we sat to watch "Dinner Impossible" and when the show was over and nothing had stopped we decided to watch another taped show (we couldn´t think of anything else to do at that point!). "Chuck" was on and I can´t really tell you much about it because contractions were beginning to get more intense. We finished watching the show (upon my request, I didn´t want to get to the hospital sooner than necessary) and then I called the midwife. She was very kind and attentive to my wishes to not go in too soon, but dropping the phone during a contraction was probably sign enough that I at least needed to begin getting ready to leave. She told Ben this when he picked up the phone and we agreed that we´d be leaving in about an hour.

By then it was already 6.45 (give or take) so we went upstairs, woke the girls up and explained we were heading to the hospital because our baby was coming. Maria came over to help get them ready and then bring them to the hospital with my cousin, Susi.

We left with both Moms in Mom L´s car. I asked Ben to take his time and so we did. Contractions were steady and strong but I still was in no hurry. I had chosen to remain calm and at least in this first few hours I could still handle to do it.

On our way to the hospital we realized that our birth plan (which we decided to write this time due to the change in practitioners and hospital) had been left in our van. We called Susi and asked her to bring it in right away upon their arrival to the hospital. They arrived a while after we did and, to my surprise, not only Susi came in with the papers, but they allowed them all to come in. I can´t tell you what a happy moment it was to see my girls right there. I must say it was a blessing to know them so close to me and so well taken care of. Just the thought of being able to see them at any point brought so much peace and joy to my heart. After Elena´s quick question of "Why aren´t you in the bed, Mami?" and a few blown kisses they were taken out to the waiting area and I continued my labor.

Rebbeca, our midwife, was great. She honored (and defended) my every wish. Since my Strep B screening came back negative, I declined the IV. In spite of being in the hospital, not one single nurse or resident checked me and though some monitoring was required, it was almost a joke because I kept moving to my comfort and I ultimately took it off.

The room with the tub was already taken, so I didn´t have the tub to labor in. Also, the hospital was so busy that day I literally caught the last available LD&R room, which also happened to have the shower head broken! But it was still functional and I wasn´t going to lose my focus over circumstantial things, so I chose to ignore those details and stick to my plan. We talked and laughed in between contractions and during contractions I´d "get to work". My natural reaction to contractions is to squat, so I´d squat and try to focus my thoughts and my strength in "letting my body do the work".

Never once did I allow myself to complain about the pain but instead I´d force myself to try and focus on my womb and the work it was doing in bringing my baby out. I tried to "think open" and, in Ina May Gaskin´s words, tried to visualize my contractions as energy waves or rushes bringing my baby closer to me; visualize my baby slowly and smoothly descending; and make sure my jaw and throat were relaxed.

By about 9.30 I got out of the shower and let Rebbeca check me. I was 8+ cm and my waters were leaking. Now, I wanted to wait for them to break spontaneously but, what can I say, I "cheated" and let her finish breaking them. In the end, this proved to be a good idea because we could see there was meconium in the waters and that gave me some time to prepare for the cord to be cut much sooner than I had wanted and the neonatologist to whisk my baby off to make sure there would be no aspiration.

Upon breaking the waters, of course the baby´s descent began and contractions were even stronger. I was amazed at being able to recognize that the baby´s head was coming down and at the risk of appearing like a lunatic (I´m sure I did look like a lunatic in hindsight, but hey, a girl´s gotta do what a girl´s gotta do!), I´ll confess I did tell the baby "I love you, baby, come down, come down" in the midst of contractions, while squatting on the bed and holding on to the bar.

The rest periods in between contractions were truly that for I felt so content and relaxed that I knew I could very well snooze. Therefore, I decided to stay in the bed so I could lay back, stretch my legs and almost go to sleep, if not for the company and conversation that were so enjoyable. I had never felt the "urge to push" and informed my midwife that I really wanted to get to that point this time.

As I said earlier, my natural reaction to contractions is to squat, so Rebbeca suggested rolling over my left side during the following contraction just to see if a change in position would change anything. Well, it did... in that same contraction I let them know as calmly as I could: "ok, I´m going to push now." The statement was followed by the infamous "ring of fire" and while I thought I had just pushed the head out, I tried to lift my head to see and instead of a head I saw a baby on the bed! After a few seconds I did have to ask: "What did we have?!" though my husband´s joyful tears and indescribable expresion led me to think we´ve had a boy! After a quick clean up, the girls came in to meet their little brother. None of us could possibly imagine life without him now!

Pensamientos sobre el trabajo de parto

Como todos los que se mantienen al tanto de mi vida sabrán, durante este embarazo leí, y leí, y leí todo lo que pude respecto al trabajo de parto. Estaba determinada a hacer todo lo que estuviera en mi poder para hacerlo lo más placentero posible. A lo largo de mi lectura constantemente me intrigó leer de todas las mujeres que confían en todo tipo de cosas que reconocen como poderosas en sus propias vidas y salen de sus experiencias de parto con un nuevo sentido de fuerza y felices. Mi pregunta era, ¿por qué ellas, con conocimiento humano y fallido tienen experiencias de parto tan positivas y nosotras, con la sabiduría infinita de nuestro Padre y el poder del Espíritu Santo de nuestra parte no las tenemos?

Quisiera poder decir que encontré "la respuesta" a esta cuestionante. No fue así, al menos no encontré la fórmula mágica que toda mujer en el mundo puede aplicar. Pero sí encontré una respuesta para mí. Nunca sugeriría que toda mujer debiera hacer las cosas de tal o cual forma. Creo firmemente que Dios nos hizo únicas y en esa individualidad debemos encontrar lo que Él espera de nosotras para hacer que las situaciones nos beneficien al máximo, no solamente al momento de dar a luz sino en todo aspecto de la vida. Después de todo, si Él hubiera querido que todas fuéramos iguales, nos habría hecho idénticas para empezar.

Esto fue lo que concluí:

Lo primero que encontré en común en todo lo que leí fue una actitud positiva, dadivosa y amorosa durante el trabajo de parto. Ese mensaje era contrario a todo lo que había escuchado antes y tenía perfecto sentido... después de todo, es un principio Bíblico, hay mucha más bendición en dar que en recibir.

Lo segundo fue relacionado a cómo lidiar con las contracciones. A mí nunca se me había ocurrido pensar en ellas como una fuente de fuerza que me estaba acercando a mi bebé. Siempre las consideré un dolor del que me quería deshacer y que sólo estaba sufriéndolo mientras venía el bebé.

Lo tercero fue en cuanto a enfoque, en no enfocarme en cuánto tiempo llevo, cuánto tiempo me falta, cuántas contracciones más, sino en tomar cada contracción como un sólo minuto de mi vida que y cuando ya pasó sencillamente disfrutar el período de descanso sin anticipar ni preocuparme por la próxima ola de dolor.

Así que me armé con una lista de todos los himnos y cantos de alabanza que le comunicaran fuerza, rendición y entrega a mi espíritu y me acostaba a dormir todas las noches con esa música de fondo durante las últimas semanas. Me propuse no ponerle atención a las contracciones hasta no saber que eran consistentes, intensas y regulares por lo menos por una hora. Finalmente, aunque no necesariamente ansiaba enfrentar el proceso, también me propuse acoger el trabajo de parto y trabajar con él tanto como me fuera posible.

Esos son algunos de mis pensamientos y fueron los pensamientos con que llegué al trabajo de parto. La historia del parto en sí, para quienes estén interesados, vendrá más adelante.

About Birth

As it is well known by all who keep up with my little life, I read, and read, and read everything I could during this pregnancy. I was determined to do everything in my power to make it as pleasant as could be. Through my reading I was constantly puzzled by all those women who rely on all kinds of things they recognize as powerful in their lives and came out of their birthing experiences empowered and happy. Why would they, with human and failing knowledge, have such good birthing experiences and we, with the infinite wisdom of our Father and the power of the Holy Spirit to tap into, don't?

I wish I could say I found "the answer" to this. I didn't, not the one-fits-all answer anyway. I did find an answer for myself though. I would never suggest that everyone should do things this or that way. I believe that in our God given uniqueness we must find what God expects from us to make situations work for the best, not only in labor and delivery but in every aspect of life. After all, if He'd wanted for us all to be the same, He would have made us the same to begin with.

Having said that, this were my findings:

The first common thread I found in all the reading I did was a positive, giving and loving attitude during labor. That message was contrary to all that I've heard before, and it made sense... after all, it is a Biblical principle, there is much more blessing in giving than receiving.

The second thing was in the terms of how to treat the contractions. I never thought of thinking about them as a sort of strength that was bringing my baby closer. I always thought of them as this pain I wanted to get rid of and was just suffering through.

The third thing was still in terms of focus. Not to focus on how much longer, how much time, how many contractions, but to take each contraction as one single minute of my life that was over when it was over and then simply enjoy the period of rest not even anticipating the next wave of pain.

So, I armed myself with a list of all the hymns and worship songs that spoke surrender, and strength to my spirit and I went to bed to those songs every night for the last few weeks. I purposed myself not to pay attention to the contractions until they had been consistent, intense and regular for at least one hour. Finally, even though I wasn´t necessarily looking forward to the whole process, I also purposed myself to embrace it and work with it as much as I could.

Those are some of my thoughts and were the thoughts that took me into labor. The birth story itself, for those interested, will come in a future post.