There is no stopping them

This is what my kitchen looks like any given meal prep lately. The minute I step into that corner of a kitchen to get food ready, three little people make themselves fit into the corner with me and constantly plead for me to let them help. That is the older ones, though as you can see the youngest is following really closely.

So here we are, another season almost gone and still feeling like I'm trying to tame this monster of life. I am trying, yet again, to establish a functional routine around here. In the meantime:

Elena's favorite topics of late are babies and food. She has become quite an enthusiast about cooking shows, especially those with "girls" (Giada DiLaurentis & Rachel Ray, namely though she'll tolerate Paula Dean & Ina Garten if there's no other girl on at any given time). Her viewing sessions are usually followed by a very eager desire to help cook and she has enjoyed it thoroughly. Her next favorite topic is babies as she doesn't fail to remind me at least once a day that we need to have a baby girl. She is very sweet to her baby brother and it is a joy to see her love on him and enjoy him so much.

Adriana happily follows suit with Elena but only while she gets a better idea. She is a wiggly girl who can't seem to sit still long enough for anything. She will sooner be done with a meal only because "it's taking too long" even when she really isn't done eating. She is constantly climbing and figuring out different ways to climb on couches, tables, or any other surface that looks exciting and challenging enough to climb. She is desperate to do the same things Elena does but usually doesn't have the patience to finish them. She loves to sing and dance and whenever they play, she is the one that makes all sorts of voices.

Little Ben is just a joy. He loves to be around his sisters and usually chases them around. He is cruising quite steadily and though he's still an avid and enthusiastic nurser he has become very interested in food. He wants to try everything! He is still my snuggle bug and his huge smile still brightens any day! My sweet boy is 9 months already and keeps me on my toes with the cleaning because he will inevitably find whatever I missed when sweeping and mopping!

Ben has completely recovered from his pinky fracture and is now trying to catch up with all the work he couldn't do around the house after his injury. I am ever so grateful for such a loving man. I love that he loves to spend time with us, I love that he loves to spend time with me!

I am still dragging along a bit. Apparently, I am bound to catch every bug my children catch, so this year I got Epstein Barr. It has drained me, just like mono, and so more often than not, I need a nap, a really early bed time or a really late wake up time. Usually the latter is what works best for us though naps are still a big part of my day. I'm not crazy about this but rather rest and drink plenty than having to take medications, so I'll take it. My back is doing better and I keep believing that some day, some day (as Elena would say) I will enjoy having the energy of a regular healthy human being! However, I am grateful that I can still enjoy my family and my children and that my "maladies" need nothing more than rest and patience.

We have seen the hand of God in miraculous provision. We are loved and know it, we are spoiled and forget it at times and we are constantly trying to remember to live our lives honoring Him!

Summer...

We have had a very full, very busy, very fun summer. It hasn't stopped and just when I thought it would, it didn't... we are still looking at one more week of busyness ahead. I have learned so much and am still processing much more, but I will keep it light tonight and save the "meaty" stuff for later, when I'm not as tired as I am right now.

All that being said, what is the deal with life guards at water parks? or at whatever water "places" for that matter! Has anybody observed this before?

They sit high so they can see what is going on and they are usually holding, so very intensely, this long foamy-floaty thingy. They sit under the shade of an umbrella, yet they are always sporting tans. But let one unsuspecting individual dare transgress one of the rules and you will see them in action! That whistle goes off! The seriousness of the transgression will determine several things: a standing admonition or a sitting one; one long blow of the whistle or several short ones, several urgent quick hand motions or a slow explanatory one. Now, how do you decipher these messages? Especially in the kiddie pool?

The whistle goes off and every single parent in the pool turns to look at the lifeguard. The lifeguard points intently at the culprit and a handful of parents are looking at each other, pointing at themselves mouthing the word "me?", while the lifeguard keeps on blowing and gesturing in sinc with their hands. The culprit is identified, a young mother of twin toddlers who is (how dare she) just about to go down the slide with both little girls, tsk, tsk, tsk... The lifeguard continues the reprimand, and the guessing game continues as well.

The anguished and quite embarrassed mother looks at the lifeguard and gesturing with hands asks: "What?" and tries to decipher the whistle blowing and hand gesturing of the lifeguard (that hasn't stopped, mind you). "Oh, do I need to sit down?" More hand gestures and whistle blowing... "Oh, do I have to go with one girl at a time?" "What?" says the poor mother in desperation while the lifeguard still keeps on blowing that silly whistle and making some bizarre gesture with her hand that we all are supposed to understand yet nobody seems to be able to figure out. Finally, in one last attempt to make the madness stop, the mother says "Oh, I can't go down with them?" and really without waiting for a response (not that it would have been understood had there been one) she motions to the closest acquaintance to "catch" the now wailing (and probably traumatized) little girls as she scurries away.

As the afternoon wore down and we rotated around the different swimming areas of the park, I continually saw this kind of situation repeat itself over and over again. So what is one sensible parent to do in this case... is there a lifeguard language class that we missed? How does one master the hand gestures or whistle blowing of these characters? Don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative of them there. I am grateful to know that there is a trained professional who can save a life if it comes to it. I just want to be able to know how to correct my wrong behavior or what that wrong behavior may have been to begin with!

His tools...

Sunday morning my aching back left a husband to go to church alone with two little girls. A challenge. It always is. Little hearts having a hard time understanding worship, settling down, quieting down. The need arose for a private conversation and he took them to the bathroom... this is a secon hand version, but it went something like this:

Elena: You break my heart when you say no!
Daddy: Well, honey, did you know God can fix your broken heart?
Elena: No, He can't!
Daddy: Sweetheart, look around you. He made the trees, the sky, everything! He made everything! He CAN fix your broken heart. The Bible says He can!
Elena: But His tools will hurt!

Later on, as Dad and I talked about this we remarked on how unaware she is of how deep her statement is. There is no mistake in the fact that His tools sometimes hurt, there is no mistake either in the fact that the pain is bringing restoration, regeneration and new life. Little did we know, barely 24 hours later we'd be experiencing it in the physical through Ben's injury, and even in the emotional as we adjust to a very busy life with increasing challenges. Some day we'll tell her and it will make sense...

Customer Service

Task oriented, that I am very much. My husband is a good balance for me because he is so the "fun" laid back guy. He is also a great balance for my little ones because where I am focused to get them through a task, from teeth brushing, through meal eating, all the way to getting ready for bed smoothly and efficiently. He simply makes it fun! Talk about God knowing what He does when He pairs us people up! When I have a task at hand, I am a woman with a mission, be it cleaning the toilet or preparing a meal, I go at it with everything I have.

When I did my orientation for the interpreting job, I was inundated with how much importance this company puts on their customer service. One of the tips the trainer gave us was to have a big sign somewhere in our work station to remind us to "smile". She said it was amazing how much a smile could do for a voice over the phone. Thus, this very serious, task oriented girl did that very thing. Every single phone call, after looking at the sign with my greeting on one end of the wall, my eyes would immediately move to the other end of my wall where a big happy face with the word SMILE written on it was displayed every-single-call-every-single-time.

All of my little notes and reminders for the job have come down from the wall, except for the smile sign. I have been gently nudged by the Holy Spirit about my customer service practices at home... very seriously I have been considering these past few days to post more of these signs all over the place, namely the kitchen and bathroom where my cleaning tasks have the potential to get me brow furrowed. My little people are my customers of sorts! Some days I feel like this disgruntled woman (if you picture this the way I do you will surely get a good laugh!), sleeves up to her elbows, hands covered in some kind of grime, treading through towards the kitchen while two little girls hug each one of my legs and a little baby hangs on for dear life to my back, stopping at nothing and eyes fixed on the sink full of dirty dishes that needs to be tackled!

So lately, I have been trying to remind myself simply to smile. When I smile I have to stop and think... I have to remember the goodness of the One who gave them to me. I have to remember that they have not been given to me per se but entrusted and I am but an ambassador, a mere representative of who He is... and just about right now, I am so relieved that He IS with me every step of the way. He does not expect me to do this on my own, and I am reminded that His mercy is everlasting and is new every morning! Remember to smile!

A journey

Like most anyone who begins this journey, I began full of enthusiasm. There was this whole new dimension of life that awaited me and I was more than eager to embrace it with everything in me. The waiting could not have taken any longer and the arrival of my sweet firstborn was nothing like I anticipated. However, contrary to my belief after who-knows-how-many-hours of labor, instead of dying upon her birth I was overtaken by a new energy. Suddenly I was filled with a new passion that I had no idea where it came from. Through tear blurred eyes we made vows and promises. For hours and hours I did not want to be bothered by the mundane of life, I just wanted to relish in this newness of life. I was a mother. She was my daughter.

This honey moon began and I loved every minute of it. Tired, frazzled and inundated with unspeakable (and some really ridiculous) fears, I knew I had been born for this. A whole lifetime of waiting and it was finally here. I could do this forever. Night time became "our time", sweet praises would fill the air as my babe nursed. Scripture would be read out loud so as to minister to the soul, both young and old, other nights prayer would fill the room. It was idyllic. We break ground together, she leads me through a path of discovery as I follow her need for guidance and we both learn to live. As I follow I lead, and as I lead I learn, and as I learn I teach her.

Then came the news of another gift and it was joyfully and longingly awaited. My second born came on a rain-stormed day as strong and determined as the weather we drove through to get to the hospital. This tiny little person exuded intensity through every little pore of her wrinkly skin. Nights were the complete opposite of the romantic and fluid sessions that carried me through the first time around. In every breath she gained new strength to make her will known and she still does. Breaking every mold, challenging every expectation, my tiny bundle of energy pushes this mom´s every single button, every single day.

Heartbreak followed with the loss of a soul we never met. He brought me joy and faith. We learned to mourn. I learned to surrender my heart and trust. He taught me to hope.

A new joy rose when my third born came. Another different wait, another different season. He brought a new beautiful balance between the idyllic romance and the awakening challenge. This little man is full of joy and there is peace in mothering him. There are no sweet all-nighters filled with worship and prayer. There are no frazzled sleepless nights. There is snuggling and cuddling and slobbery kisses that I wish would never end. His happy smile can pull me out of the funks of life and push me into a state of lightheartedness.

I do not know what new things will face me as I continue the journey. I do not know if they are so different from each other or I simply have changed with each one of them. However, as I look back, and as I look ahead I know... I was born for this, I could do this forever.

Bones

"Mom, why is it hard here on my knees? and here on my legs? why is it hard everywhere?"
I look at her and try to figure out what she is talking about... one look at her little hands going up and down her leg, pushing at every touch tells me clearly what she means. So I answer,
"Because those are your bones."
"Bones? Here?"
"Yes, right there."
"And on my knees too?"
"Yes, sweetie, everywhere. There are bones all over your body that are covered with muscles, and then with skin."
Still pressing on her legs, "Why, Mommy?"
"Why", I think... I know why, bones are our structure, they hold us up mainly... how do I explain it to her satisfactorily, though...
"Well, sweetie, bones help us stand straight, they hold us up... why don't you let me finish nursing the baby and we'll go look at some pictures on the computer, ok?"
Satisfied she waits and I think of how to illustrate it. At the same time I wonder afresh at the wisdom and creativity of the Creator. To give us a spine that would allow us to stand straight; to make joints to connect bone with bone and allow mobility; to envelope each bone with such complexity of tissue. How amazing that being the Supreme and immense God He is He'd go into the minute detail of working down to a cellular level! And once again, I marvel at My Creator!

98 years

If we could only read what the little tired eyes have to say, how much history they have witnessed, how much life they have seen happen. This restless spirit thirsty of learning, thirsty of the world and full of poetry.

Ninety-eight years stored in that feeble mind that now chooses to navigate within than to stay without... after all, all those years of memories seem much more interesting to visit than the today where the body is trapped by years of decay...

She won´t remember the phone call, but I still have to make it. I call in the midst of her little party. Before putting her on the line I am warned of her confusion... I giggle... this should be fun:

Me: Hi, Mamita, How are you?
Her: What? Oh, Hi Dear! They tell me it´s your birthday today!
Me: No, Mamita, it is yours, that´s why I´m calling...
Her: Mine!? Figures! How old do you think I am!
Me: Well, I think you´re turning 98...
Her: Yeah, I wouldn´t know because there was no party this time. When can we see you?
Me: Oh, Mamita, it´s going to be a while, I don´t know when I can see you again.
Her: Oh, but the good thing is that you´re not that far, right?
Me: Yes I am very far, Mamita. I am calling you from New York.
Her: Ohhhh, well (getting into poetry mode) the good thing is to at least talk on the phone with those who have shown you some love through your life...
Me: Yes, Mamita, I love you and hope... (she interrupts...)
Her: (to someone else in the room) I am telling her and she is not talking to me (gives the phone away)

And so, my conversation ends. In the end, I couldn´t tell her how much she means to me. She is there physically, but her mind is so gone.

So, today I honor and remember that brilliant-but-almost-absent-mind wrapped in the feeble body... Happy birthday, Mamita, though you may not remember it always, you are loved and your legacy reaches much futher than you ever thought possible or dreamed to reach yourself!

A month's worth of pictures

In one month, well one week really, we managed to get two "shiners"... Little Ben sported one

Elena, the other one.

"Tio Jonafan" came for a visit

Little girls had cups of tea...

and I am now getting to scatter pretty things around my new space...

I will post more pictures later.

Surreal

Number dialed. Wait. A "computer" voice answers: "Welcome to ****'s teleconferencing service. Please enter your access code followed by the # sign". I do it. "After the tone please say your name, followed by the # sign". I do it. Weird beeps follow and voilá, I have stepped into a world very different from my regular one. Eight more voices begin to join and in less than a minute a "classroom" of sorts is assembled. We have never seen each other's faces. We had never spoken before, yet for the past three days we have spent five hours together each day.

Minnesota, Idaho, Chicago, New York, California. Japanese, Portuguese, Polish, Spanish and English. Names without faces learning together so as to plug into this abstract representation of the corporate world. This is just the beginning, though. Soon enough each one of us will become a voice for an anonymous individual anywhere in the world. By way of telephonic waves we will become bankers, doctors, nurses, 911 dispatchers, judges, attorneys, insurance brokers, and who-knows-what-else to some non-English speaker lost in this foreign world. I find it surreal, fascinating, intriguing.

For a few minutes we will be a conduit of information that will flow between a corporation and a customer. Maybe we will be the life line that will connect a real, life threatening emergency to the responder that can make all the difference between life and death. Maybe we will simply be the clerk that ensures a payment in time, or a technician explaining a customer how to use their newest technological device. All this will happen upon answering a phone call. Crazy, just plain crazy!

Thankful

We stopped work and play, dished ourselves some food (thanks, Colleen), turned the station, sat down and watched in anticipation. The show is a bit too "wild" for my liking, but there is only one reason we are all tuned in today: a chapter in a love story, our love story. Our engagement is being aired on national TV again and so, we quiet little chattering voices around us and wait.

He appears on the screen and little girly "ooohs", "ahhhs" and giggles fill the room. It has been a rough couple days, so I sit silently watching, remembering. He proposed... I said "sí", or at least I tried and muttered some unintelligible response that translated into the desired affirmation.

Fast forward almost six years... It has been a rough couple days... I want to say yes again! Tears well up my eyes. I love this man.

Hard working, fun loving, sensitive and romantic man. He has filled my days with laughter; his own: loud, happy, full of life; mine: quiet, satisfied, and grateful; and theirs: noisy, constant, pure. My life is full... what more could I ask for.

Product of that happy day full of promise and destiny came her:

An Elena, my Elena. My happy girl who gets "so encigged" by the little things of life, who would live on sweets alone, and who lives to be a princess. **She writes four or five of the letters she knows and reads you a complete story. **She pretends to hold Jesus´hand when walking through a parking lot because it is more grown up than holding on to Mami or Daddy but it is still a hand. **She loves to help her sister on the potty and celebrates her heartily when successful. **She adores her little brother and loves to discover new ways to make him laugh. **She winks, and smiles, and dances, and twirls, and fills my world with dance. She is perfect.

then her:
An Adriana, my Adriana. My little dynamite whose determination is as intense as the big eyes that light up her face. **She is caught in between baby and toddler world, she loves so much being both. **She is determined and independent but craves snuggles more than anything else in this world. **She kisses the sweetest kisses and hugs the tightest embraces full of love. **She does everything with a passion that belongs only to her. **She will sing herself to sleep and pick up the song right where she left it the minute she opens her eyes. **She teases, and jokes, and plays, and sings, and loves and every time she hugs you, her little hand will sweetly rub your back. She fills my days with wonder and she is perfect.

...and him:
A boy! My sweet boy! My other Ben. **He is just as sweet as his daddy. **He loves to laugh. **He looks at my face adoringly when I talk. **His rich blue eyes shine as the sweetness of his smile overtakes his chubby cheeks when I come into sight. **He is as pleasant as he is cute. **He coughs to get attention. **He constantly slaps his right hand as long as he is awake and isn´t holding anything with it. **He is chubby, and chunky, and joyful, and he fills my days with sweetness. He is perfect.

Each one of them is mine. They are mine for a season, he is mine forever. My life is full. My life is perfect.

The floor is down!

1. mid progress

with the stove in place and still pending the trim

The infamous dining room green walls with the new floor.

Our handy helpers: Jeremy and Kris

I figured a couple of my readers (ahem, Dee and Becky)
would love looking at these guys at work!
They did an amazing job, thank you guys for working and ladies for releasing them to us!

A Splash (a very big one) of color...

Here's the deal: except for one person's very enthusiastic and favorable response, most of the comments our (well, my really) color choices have elicited are exclamations of how "latin", "hispanic", or "Guatemalan" it looks. The amount of colors responds to the different activities that we will carry out in this room and wanting to give each area a different feel. It may not have been the greatest of ideas, but we wanted to liven it up. Maybe we went for too many colors, I don't know but we will give it a try and live with it for a little bit (ahem, we are on a deadline here!) and decide later if we will truly keep this color collection or not. In the meantime, here goes nothing:

1. (above) the kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets the long wall's "blanket brown" across the dining room's "coriander seed"

2. (above) Living room/office's "fresh praline" meets dining room's "coriander seed"


3. (above) This is the part that still has us scratching our heads... the closer wall is being hit by sunlight and the "coriander seed" looks a deep green. Move to the wall further back that meets the kitchen... this wall is being hit by the light bulbs in the dining room and it looks more "mustardy"... that's the part we're not sure of.


4. Long wall's "blanket brown" meets living room's "fresh praline"
5. Kitchen's "toasted nutmeg" meets long wall's "blanket brown" (which are really my favorites in this crazy combo).
6. The kitchen hit by sunlight... my most favorite part of all. When the room is lit by the sun, the colors look so good! So there, maybe you'll come to my newest section of the house and be overwhelmed by my color pallette... sorry. I had fun trying and still don't know how to "fix it" or whether it really needs fixing...

At any rate, the guys are working on the flooring right now, so tomorrow I will post pictures of their final product (as well as pictures of them!). I just wanted to catch you all up with the color portion. Later on, we will see how our mismatched furniture fits in here!

I´ll try

I´ll try to post a pic and a link to the most likely color that will go on that space, hopefully it will work.

1.- On this picture: Left wall: *brown blanket
Back wall (living room area): *wild wheat


2. Right wall (same as left wall in previous picture): *blanket brown
Kitchen and doorway wall: *toasted nutmeg
We will give the kitchen a bit of a face lift, but probably not until we´re moved in. We may remove the cupboard doors and leave them open, maybe... not sure yet, but accents will be white.

3.- The little wall, together with the dining room space (which I don´t seem to have a good picture of): *coriander seed

4.- My office space will be a combination of two of any of these colors.

Day Six

Slowly but steady:

1. Ben finished closing up one side of the old bedroom doorway after working all the necessary wiring.


2. Looking at it from the kitchen. This will be our dining space.


3. & 4. Our old computer room storing probably 90% of Mom and Dad L´s belongings:

Day Five

Again, Day Four seemed to be slower just because of electric stuff going on. Today may begin to see more tangible progress but while that happens I thought I´d share my home office inspiration.

Although I´m not sure the color will work because my little office space will be the darkest spot downstairs with no natural light hitting it anywhere at any time of the day. But there, tell me what you think.

Day Three

Because day two was mostly devoted to working with electric wiring and such, no visible progress was made to photograph. Here's today's progress though.

I should be working on picking some wall colors soon since Ben wants to paint before laying down the laminate flooring.

End of day one

At the end of day one, carpeting is gone and so is the sheet rock on the wall.

Ben is working on the electric to finish taking out the wall
A closer look.

"And the renovation begins right now"

Okay, it may not make much sense but maybe as it develops it will. Bear with me, please. For those who don´t know, we are trading downstairs apartments with Mom and Dad L so as to be on one whole side of the house. It is a first step of a long term remodel we want to ultimately do. Although we don´t know when step 2 will follow, we are pretty excited about getting on with step 1.


1. When you come into their apartment, this wall separates the living room/kitchen from the bedroom.
2. The doorway will be closed in and the wall to the left torn down.

3. Seen from the bedroom: the wall to be demolished to the right now. With the closing of the doorway we intend to somehow use the corner and closet space to make an office space with a built-in interpreting booth in the closet. It may not be the most practical solution but at least that would provide an immediate semi-enclosed space for me to work without completely removing me from family life and won´t require all the electrical re-wiring we would have had to do other wise. Plus, we have a 3 week deadline while Mom and Dad are visiting Andrea in TX.

4. With the wall gone it should open up a larger space for living room, dining area and kitchen.

5. As you can see, carpeting has already been removed. Their kitchen begins at the change of flooring, but we will install new laminate flooring throughout. Notice how lightly I use the term "we". I am mostly in charge of our current living space and the little people. All the exciting plans we had for these days did not materialize, had it not been for the girls´little outing to Aunt Dee´s we would all have ended up couped up with a feverish baby... *sigh* just going with the flow now.

Stay tuned for updates, that is the most exciting thing I can do regarding the project right now!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I am so ridiculously exhausted! For two and a half weeks I have had to wake up at night much more than usual and it is finally beginning to wear on me. We are not dealing with a tummy bug, thankfully, but my girls seem to take after me and gag at absolutely anything when they're sick, so they have thrown up even when their sickness doesn't call for it. So between throwing up, fevers and the attitudes and behavior that go with it, hurting tummys, noses, anythings, bathroom emergencies and the regular nursing wake up times of the night I am, finally, worn out.

Last night (or this morning, when it was still dark, I don't even know anymore) Adriana came to our bed. Although we've been trying to wean her of this, we made an exception this week that she's been sick. She had some milk, the baby woke up so I brought him in bed thinking I was tired enough not to even bother putting him back on his basket, he was going to stay in bed with me. As I was almost asleep I heard Adriana cough... and cough... and cough... aaaand... I had just so much time to lift the baby up and be the target of the projectile! I guess the good news was that whatever I didn't catch her pillow did, so after wiping baby, her, my face and ridding of my nightgown Ben went to sleep with Elena, we threw a big towel on our bed (just in case we missed something) and we went back to sleep at a time that by all reason we should have been waking up.

Even though we woke up at 9, Adriana is still cranky enough that I didn't manage to come downstairs until 10. My body aches, my head aches, my eyes are fighting to stay open and Elena & Ben jr. are ready to take on the world! Cookies and brownies for breakfast and who knows what will make it to the table for lunch and dinner today! arghhh...

New Job

Well, *sigh* there it is. I have signed. I accepted their offer, they´ve accepted mine. Our little family life is about to change dramatically and I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.

I know life is of seasons and this is just another season. I love interpreting, I know it will enjoyable. But I can´t deny that there is a very big part of me that doesn´t like to have home life dictated by a commitment made in exchange of a paycheck.

I will work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12:30 to 5:30 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from 7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. thus totaling 20 hours each week. Ben has made arrangements for his office hours to change, partly because of this, partly due to some re-structuring the church office is going through. At any rate, the re-arranging should work so that he is with the little ones most of the time I´m on the phone.

I won´t leave home. I will work here, but there is something that turns in my stomach every time the recruiters remind me that I am to ensure a quiet space. The lady I was speaking to yesterday, a mom herself, assured me that little ones "get it" and so mine should soon learn that "when the door is closed, they are not to interrupt Mom".... arghhh! I don´t like that! Now, I won´t be behind closed doors per se, but I do need to ensure the quiet space, so we will fashion an office corner with a closet space that we intend to make work as an "interpreting booth".

Thus the mixed emotions... Firstly, we are excited about the extra $$ and are already planning how to disburse it within our budget. Secondly, I can´t deny the excitement of the job in and of itself... what can I say, I do like to interpret. On the other hand, there are the sacrifices to be made at home.

We are fearfully walking through this, understanding that this is something we need to do and will serve as a tool to our family life as we learn to be more disciplined and intentional about our life. We´ll see how it goes and keep you posted!

Ponderings

If you have access to the internet, and if you are a part of some sort of social network you are flooded with all kinds of information these days. From politics to advertising, you have to pick and choose what to read and how you will react to what you read.

Where you focus your sight will determine what you will witness. Where you place your faith will determine what you will see happening for you. What you listen to the most will determine what you will end up believing. Do you wonder what you are witnessing?

I think about the people who lived in the times of Jesus and who witnessed His crucifixion. I think about that very moment when He hung on the cross, as His breathing slowed... What was going through those people´s minds? What were they seeing around them? I´m sure every single face in that setting witnessed to their heart. Did they know what they were witnessing?

I think not. I can almost see the words illustrated by faces as the events unfolded. Doubt... "I thought He was the Savior." Regret: "And I wasted my time following." Hopelessness: "Who is going to save us now?" Uncertainty: "What happens to us now?" Disbelief: "I can't believe this is happening!" Fear: "What does the future hold?" Despair: "Whom do we turn to now?"

As my mind's eye walks this event, I know that these must have only been a few of the questions flooding people's minds that day. As I know they're only a few of the questions that flood people's minds, today. They fill my mind sometimes too. And then I ask myself: "Do I know... Do I know what I am witnessing? Am I missing the miracle in the making?"

Those people may have missed the miracle because they kept looking around the Cross. Would their questions have been different if their focus had been on Him? Could they have seen the love? Could they have understood the miracle? Can WE?

"...Fixing our eyes in Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12:2)

Update

I am in one of those seasons of realizing that the years have most definitely gone by. The things that I´ve considered new for a while aren´t appearing that new anymore.

Take my makeup bag, for example. It is very accurate to say that ALL the makeup I own fits in one of those half quart baggies they let you bring on the plane for toiletries. I only have one item of each category and they are ALL 5 years old. The reason I know this is because my previous makeup bag (which was a little bigger than the current one) was inside the purse that was stolen from me in Guatemala, the October before I got married. I never fully replaced the contents of the bag and that is how I know exactly how old my makeup is.

Probably in the same category fall my techniques for makeup application and hair styling, and my sense of style for that matter. I will inevitably buy the most neutral (aka boring) clothes, because I´m never quite sure what is really in style for my lifestyle (age and status). I will always wear my hair pulled back in the same style or a pony tail because I have absolutely no skill whatsoever for styling hair. And the last time I had to seriously do my makeup for a wedding I about panicked because not only did I not own whatever beauty products were needed for the task but I realized the techniques I´d use would be those I learned back about 15 years ago when I was hip and current. I think an update would be nice, just a little refresher, you know.

Life

It feels as though I´m finally beginning to catch up with life a little. Some areas of the house are beginning to look tidy. Of course, it always seem to go that the downstairs gets better or more work than the upstairs. Mostly because once we come downstairs for breakfast I hardly ever go back upstairs except for nap and bed times. And of course, as I catch up with the house, I must quickly begin to pack this downstairs for our move to the other apartment. As it is, old Susi's room has already become Mom's sowing/storage room.

I have managed to keep on working even when I slow down to nurse the baby. Usually it is hard for me to get up once I sit down because I'll inevitably grab a book, or my crochet and get so caught in in that I stay on the couch doing these things (when I don't fall asleep with him). Today was the hardest day, though. Ben has been doing an hour of activities at a nearby Christian School at the beginning of their day. They call it "Spirit Emphasis Week". Every morning he's been getting up earlier than usual and running off to do this, so we haven't seen him when we get up. So, today when he crossed the front door at around 10.30 a.m. with his bag in hand and the news that he was taking the morning off because he wasn't feeling well it took absolutely every single ounce of my will not to sit with him on the couch!

It is so hard not to sit with him and want to spend time with him when he is home! How does everybody else does it? Once Ben is here I have the strong tendency of ditching responsibilities and just sit with him. Not today, though. Today I succeeded! I kept on working while he sat to work on the computer and I have just sat down now while he took the girls upstairs for naps. Yay for me!!! My house is not in terrible disarray because I've managed to keep up!

My brain

This morning:

What day is it today? ...ohh, yeah, Monday. Ben is gone already. Adriana is calling. Oh my! She must be wet. "Coming, sweetie, go to the bathroom. I'll bring your underwear there." Do we have pull ups up here? Ok, baby sleeps. Change Adriana. I'll fold a basket of laundry while Elena and the baby awaken. Oooops, scrap that thought, the baby is up. "Good morning little sweet heart! You have the brightest smile. I love you". Yikes! His diaper leaked. Change the baby. I'll still try to fold while Elena wakes up. Ok, never mind. "Good morning sweetie! Here let me get you some clothes. Go brush your teeth and get dressed and we'll go downstairs." What can I wear... What's clean. I should throw a load of laundry before I go downstairs. I should REALLY fold at least one basket before I go downstairs. "We're going downstairs in a little bit. What? A little bit? A little bit is a few minutes? Well, not necessarily five, maybe... Don't worry Elena, I'll just get dressed and we'll go downstairs. Find your milk cups while I get ready". I'm out of stain remover, gotta write that down on the list. Hope I don't forget. "Come here little man, we're going downstairs. (louder) Girls? Got your cups? Let's go downstairs!" Man! You'd think I'd pick up a bit last night. This is messy. Where do I even start? Breakfast... COFFEE!! Hmm, Ben probably didn't eat anything, poor guy. "Yes, Adriana, I know you want your juice. Please don't whine, I'll get it to you in a minute. Yes, Elena, I know you want cereal for breakfast, I heard you the first time. What is it buddy? You're not gonna let me eat yet, are you? Let's go nurse you." I'm hungry. I hope he goes to sleep. He is so cute, sweet thing. Hopefully he'll fall asleep for a good while. "Are you done with your breakfast? You want more cereal? I'd like you to wait until I'm done feeding the baby, ok?" I should have left the cereal box on the table, Elena could have gotten it herself. Babies hands are cold, cover him. What will I eat, when will I eat... What time is it? I need to make phone calls. One to Continental. Where else was I supposed to call? I knew I should have written it down. Baby sleeps. Quiet, quiet, quiet... turn light off. "More cereal? sure. Sit on your bummy or your knees, please." Eggs, I'll have eggs. Uh oh, we'll need eggs, and bread, and milk. Grab pen, write it down NOW! What was the other thing? Arghh! Never mind. Grab Bible, pen, journal, coffee... what else? oh, yeah, napkin. Sit down. Breathe. Open Bible, open journal. Take a bite. Wow! I haven't written here in a very long time! "More juice? How do you ask?" Maybe I won't write today either. Where was I? Oh, yeah, today is the 7th, I'll start with a Proverb. Proverbs, Proverbs... 7. Hmmm... wisdom, "Wisdom builds its house" Does it say the same thing in English? Take a sip. "Adriana! Your pants are wet. You forgot to tell me you needed to go." Not really, I forgot to remind her. Take her pants off. Run upstairs to bring fresh pants... of course, the baby´s eyes are now open. Rush, rush, maybe I can still finish my food before he cries. Remember: bring the bathroom cleaning supplies downstairs with me. That downstairs bathroom is in serious need of cleaning. Oh, yeah, a tablecloth too. Change Adriana. Pick up baby. Make a phone call. Make another. Yet another call, we´ll have company for dinner. Clean toilet. Clean sink. Put cleaning supplies away and out of girls´reach. Arghh! Why didn´t I ask Mel how she´s tolerating chicken lately. Chicken! Get it out of the freezer. Crock pot? Oven? Call again. Lunch. What do I make for lunch. Quesadillas? We don´t have cheese. Any sandwich is out of the question, we don´t have bread. Man! What do I make? Open fridge. Scan, scan, scan... look at clock. It´s late! Eggs, how many eggs are there? Scramble. Tater tots. Put in oven...

I´ll drop it here... you get the point though. And I still wonder why I forget things or why I don´t make any sense at times. °sigh°

"Mi Casa es tu Casa"

"Make yourself at home"... How many times do we use phrases like those and really, really, truly, mean it? How many times have we used the phrase and actually lived it out? Well, we have. Six months ago we opened our door to my cousin. She and her baby left us on Thursday. We were sad to see her go, but happy to see her move on to the next season of her life.

Tomorrow she will be on her way to Guatemala, where she will wait for her husband to finish his assignment and be finally reunited as a family in July. She left us filled with memories, some hard, some fun, some really funny, some very sweet. We miss her already!

So, here is to her time with us, laugh with us if you may!

*sigh* =0)

Me: "Adriana, what is this? Why is this all wet?" (After picking up a rubber cup holder she was playing with).

A: "Oh, Is ok, Mommy, I just putting my water in it."

Me: "Water?! Where did you get water from?" (Alarmed at the thought of her "putting" water anywhere else in the house).

A: "Is ok, Mommy is just my water."

Me: "Sweetie, where did you get water from?"

A: "Is just my water from my mouth"

A grocery "shopping" story...

We normally buy our groceries with cash but when we realized how busy we are this week and how we were scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel, we decided to do a grocerys shopping trip tonight. I served dinner, we ate and I bundled the baby and left shortly debit card in hand.

Funny, when I only had Elena I wouldn´t even have dreamed of going out to the store by myself with the baby! Tonight, it was nice to be at the store with an infant who went on the carrier and happily smiled at me without interrupting my shopping at all.

An hour later I had completed my task. I was in the process of transferring my bags to the cart, very excited to have come one Dollar under my budget when the cashier informed me my card had been denied. Of course I had no other payment method, so very embarrassed I left my bags and the store in a hurry.

I ran to the van, baby-in-car-seat in arms and with every step my feelings began to change from embarrassment to anger. Oh I was so angry at... I didn't know who could possibly be the object of my anger! It couldn't be the cashier at the store... Ben? No, while he very certainly was subject to my anger (poor honey!), he was definitely not the object of it! He directed me to the ATM where I realized the problem: my card number had been compromised! I couldn't even check my balance!

How dare these bank people do this to a mother, standing in the cold desolate parking lot while her baby cries his little lungs out strapped to the car seat! I went back to the car, sat at the wheel, and was getting ready to cry (yeah, pathetic, I know). But then I stopped. Hold on a second, I thought to myself. "Ok, Lord, What could possibly be the purpose of my having gone through the wasted trip to the store?", I asked.

Well, I am still waiting for the answer to that one, but after asking the question and driving back home I realized that as upset as I was, I could be thankful that if I couldn't access my money, neither could anyone else. At the very least I could be thankful for this technology that would have allowed such a precaution and with that thought in mind I got home. But above all things I just had to remember that God does make everything work together for good. "Everything" means EVERYTHING, every single little thing, including this silly night of mine.

Our bed isn't ours

For the past 4 years we've had to share our bed with one (or all three) of our children. Though it lends itself sometimes for very difficult sleep for us, we love it. Yeah, sometimes we wake up to wet sheets due to a leaky diaper, sometimes we are kept awake longer than we'd wanted, but all in all it has been a wonderful part of being parents. I love it.

I love when Adriana comes to find her spot between Ben and me to snuggle as close as she can to one of us (usually me). Her little arm comes wraps around my neck and her little face is pressed against mine. That is how she goes back to sleep.

I love opening my eyes in the morning to the milky chunky little body curled up by my side. I love that the minute I move, he immediately stirs looks at me with his baby blue eyes and smiles the widest toothless-cheek-crunching-smile.

And when I am tempted to complain because a little someone is stealing my blankets or leaving me no room to move, all I have to do is remember that although Elena still comes to us occasionally, she is pretty much past that season. My little girl rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now and when she does, she usually takes her little self to the bathroom and back to bed. So I'll take it... as uncomfortable as it may get, I love snuggling with my babies!

More funnies from the girls

*Adriana is always asking for snacks when she's not supposed to and I keep telling her "no" time after time, after time. So she had already asked three or four times in the last hour when she came back in the kitchen: "Mooomy, I want tandy!", frustrated, I turned to look at her and said "Adriana, sweetie..." but before I could go on she said: "Momy, be happy. ok?" ...and I really didn't know what to say, I just had to laugh and say "dinner will be ready soon".

It was bed time and I had given Elena instructions to go take her clothes off to prepare for bed. She was walking and talking around, obviously delaying her obedience. Ben finally made her note this and asked her to be quicker to obey. "But I want to blow pretend bubbles!" came her response as she dragged her feet towards her bedroom and was beginning to cry. In an attempt to make a point to her, Ben said to her: "Elena, I want to go walk on the moon..." but before he could even try to go on and make his point she said: "Daddy, I want to go walk in the moon with you" and kept going on "I will be so sad if you go without me!", Ben and I just looked at each other and laughed...

Chuckling

As we walked the couple aisles of tanks filled with all sorts of fascinating sea creatures we could hear all sorts of exclamations coming from little voices thrilled at the discoveries.

We kept hearing Bannon say: "Hey, Jake, look at this fish I found" or "Aunt Keila, I need someone to show something" and then he'd excitedly run back to proudly show his discovery.

"Ooohs" and "ahhhs" kept coming from every direction of the store. Rightly so, these tiny little creatures were simply fascinating reminders of God's careful design. Amazing colors, shapes, and even temperaments (I think fish have them too) were at display. Of course, we found Nemo, Dori AND Nemo's dad, saw a "bubble bus" (one of those little water tank decorations that let a big bubble out every few seconds), a sting ray, live rocks and corals (which I had never seen before), and even a rope fish (yes, a fish a few inches long that had the texture of a rope!).

But the real point of this story, what made Be and I laugh was that in the excitement of the moment, the girls, especially Abby and Elena, kept going back and forth from tanks showing each other their findings and exchanging exclamations and opinions about what they saw. Their exclamations began to blend as they tried to imitate each other and this is what we began to hear:

Elena: "Oh my holy! Abby come look at this!"
Abby: "molly gooness, Elena!"

and every possible combination of the exclamations they kept making! Silly, but worth recording for future memories!

Life these past few days

Well, our plans this weekend were to attend a Valentine´s Day party and a Birthday party or two in addition to the regular weekend activities. For a season now I have really been craving some grown up socializing just for fun. It goes without saying that life with little ones leaves one needing time to just sit among adults, even if I can´t bring much to the conversation (or the table, for that matter) because I still haven´t gotten a hold of life. So I was very excitedly looking forward to these opportunities to share with loved ones, maybe interesting topics, maybe a few laughs, just a good time.

My weekend ended up looking quite differently from the refreshing time I´d envisioned. I had longer nights that usual with Adriana sick. Not only could I not make it to the parties I was looking forward to but not making it to church either! Adriana has been extremely testing because she probably has been feeling so poorly and it has made staying at home much more tiring and demanding than usual.

My heart is in a good place though, I know these days will pass sooner than later and there will always be parties to be attended and fun to be had. Now I only need a bit more patience to help my little girl deal with getting better!

The Heart of the Matter

As the girls are growing and continue to present challenges on a daily basis we are faced with choices. How to correct them, what to correct them for, when to do it, etc. We so much want to honor the Lord with our discipline and lead them towards God's mercy. So a couple weeks ago, when we came to wake them up from naps to find that they hadn't slept at all but instead, ever so quietly, threw every single item of clothing on the floor. Not only that, but they managed to climb on their dresser and get every possible cream, rub, lotion, etc. and smear it on their hair. It was quite a funny scene but we couldn't treat it as funny at the moment, we needed to be quick to correct. When we wanted to do it, though, where did we start? They did so many things they weren't supposed to do:

* They got out of bed
* They were playing instead of sleeping
* They climbed on the dresser
* They took the lotions and creams (which included anti-itch, and antibiotic ointments, and petroleum jelly!)
* They took all the clothes and messed the morning's worth of work, etc.

We felt full of remarks and comments that we felt compelled to explain to them. Things such as how much these things cost, how much effort Mom put in folding all the clothes nicely, how dangerous it was to put stuff on their faces and hair threatened to spill out of these concerned parents who, by the way, decided to tackle this together to stay accountable and avoid a major temper meltdown! Yet any course of action we'd suggest would be received with the question "why".

No matter what we said, they couldn't comprehend the severity of what they had done. So after a lot of head scratching and quick little discussions over little heads screaming about the scrubbing of hair we asked each other: what is the bottom line? The bottom line was that they disobeyed, take your pick as to what color, shape or intensity, they disobeyed and that was what we needed to address. We knew that not only would they understand that but it would also keep us objective.

Yes, this was a very simple response to a very simple dilemma. Probably most of you, seasoned moms have figured this one out already, but to us, it was a revelation! It was one of those moments where we could have heard an angelic choir of voices chime in as we concluded to address the obedience issue and forget how stressed, disappointed and even angry we felt.

So I know I've been out of touch here, but at least life has been dishing us some good lessons lately!

Every once in a while...

...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple,
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food
...you get the rare chance for an evening out as a couple, with great food, and wonderful company

that rare chance was tonight... I am very, very grateful for such awesome friends!

Horrible

My stomach turned at the sight of this. My tears flowed and I just wanted to hold my babies. We need to pray!

Little People...

While Elena helped me change little Ben's diaper:

E : "Mami, when I was little I don't have one of those" pointing at the open diaper.
Me: "No, sweetie, little girls and little boys are different"
E: "Yes! (very enthusiastically) Mami, when I get bigger I will have a big bommy like yours!!!"

Ben is raising faithful Dolphin fans, as expected. Elena has been duly drilled and if you ask the question "Who is your favorite quarterback?" She'll say her own version of "Chad Pennington". So I told Ben to show her a picture of the guy to give her a face to think of. He did and showed her he was wearing number 10 on his shirt. She was very excited and interested so he proceeded to show her Rony Brown:

Ben: "Elena, what's the most innovative offensive scheme in the National Football League this year?"
E: "hmmm... wi-cat!"
Ben: Showing her Rony Brown's picture: "Look Elena, this is Ronny Brown, he runs the wild cat"
E: "Daddy, how old is he?"
Ben: "How old is he? I don't know, he's a little younger than daddy"
E: "No Daddy, how old is he in his shirt"

Adriana has been in the habit of leaving the room whenever she is told not to do something. She did it so inconspicuously and nonchalantly that we didn't catch on until Ben was in the "computer room" and she passed him to go to the bottom of the stairs. When he realized she'd been there for a couple minutes he said:

B: "Adriana, what are you doing sweetie? You know you're not supposed to be at the bottom of the stairs."
A: "Nothing, Daddy! I just picking my nose!"

Now that we know what she does, after she'll disappear when she's been asked not to do something (usually when I am nursing and can't follow her right away):

Me: "Adriana, come in here please"
A: "I coming, Mama"
Me: "Are you disobeying?"
A: "I not disbeying, Mama, I just picking my nose!"

Life goes on

Of course, on the day my mom left:

*I had an emergency dentist appointment to deal with an infection. That turned out to be a more difficult job than expected and let's just say that my dentist will fight to save the piece, but I need a root canal do over among other things. You'd think I never brush my teeth! Crazy! So I am in pain because until he finishes the work and I have been on an antibiotic for a few days it won't get better.

*Because it was an emergency appointment, we couldn't make any baby sitting arrangements for our over tired girls who had woken up at 4 a.m. that morning. Ben had a really tough time with a crying baby who would just not settle. He had to take them for a car ride so the girls could watch a movie and the baby settle with the ride. That worked up until coming back to the dentist's as the baby woke up with the stopping of the car.

*Turns out that our over tired girls and baby were also acting up because they weren't feeling well. As of yesterday we are also nursing colds.

*But we are taking it moment by moment and trying to keep up without being overwhelmed trusting that the grace will be available to deal with everything that comes our way.

* That being said, I was tagged, so here it goes:


My fourth folder was: Craiglist. My fourth picture in the folder was this one. Explanation: I wanted to sell Elena's high chair and a couple other items and tried my hand at craiglist. There, now I tag: Becky, Darlene, Danica, and Brietta.

(Post the fourth picture on the fourth folder of your pictures and explain! oh yeah, and tag 4 more people).

Well

The night was long. We sat together mostly in silence because every attempt at talking would require our looking at each other and that would only to show the other one´s tears quietly running down our cheeks. Maybe if we didn´t go to sleep the time to drive to the airport wouldn´t come. Silly, I know. So the time came. At 4:00 a.m. today we woke up and all five of us drove Pita to the airport. This time I couldn´t even wait to see her past security to wave. I squeezed her as tight as I could and with tears streaming down my face we turned back to leave. How I will miss her, how I already do!

Getting ready to say good by

**Edit**
Little bit of news: Susi has been uncertain of the time she´d need to stay here after the baby´s birth because her residency papers were ridiculously delayed. The best hope we had was April for an interview and then another wait for the actual green card to be issued and even that was a very stretchy maybe according to the Immigration Officer we talked to in December. Out of the blue, today we got a phone call from her attorney informing us that they received an email to notify them that her card has been approved WITHOUT an interview!!! As soon as that card gets here she is a free woman! She can leave the country, she can go make her home back in North Carolina, she can go anywhere she wants and does not have to look at being confined to our little guest room for unending months! Thank you Lord!

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Before we knew it, it's my mom's turn to say good by. I have tons of thoughts and tons of pictures to share but my time at a computer is so limited that I haven´t had time to upload anything let alone type. I don´t foresee my time getting freer with my mom gone, so I appreciate your patience as I now try my hand "for real" at being the Mommy of three. So far I feel I´ve been cheating my way through it as my mom has always been around to be the extra set of arms. So I´ll let you know what life is like in about a week. Don´t be surprised if you see even less of me here...

Talk to all soon!

What can be sweeter?